WAR OF THE COPYPASTA

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WAR OF THE COPYPASTA

Postby tyrantlemon55 » Thu Sep 07, 2017 8:26 pm

IT HAS BEGUN
Rules:
1. Post any copypasta or text-based meme.
That's it. RUN WILD (oh and strike out any vulgar language or NFSW content.)

(╯°□°)╯︵ ┻━┻
Perfruere vita.
aw frick
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Re: WAR OF THE COPYPASTA

Postby ArannRules » Fri Sep 08, 2017 1:19 am

┬┴┬┴┤ ͜ʖ ͡°) ├┬┴┬┴


Did you ever hear the tragedy of Darth Plagueis The Wise? I thought not. It’s not a story the Jedi would tell you. It’s a Sith legend. Darth Plagueis was a Dark Lord of the Sith, so powerful and so wise he could use the Force to influence the midichlorians to create life… He had such a knowledge of the dark side that he could even keep the ones he cared about from dying. The dark side of the Force is a pathway to many abilities some consider to be unnatural. He became so powerful… the only thing he was afraid of was losing his power, which eventually, of course, he did. Unfortunately, he taught his apprentice everything he knew, then his apprentice killed him in his sleep. Ironic. He could save others from death, but not himself.
*clears throat* The Emoji Movie was an inside job..



DoNt AsK, jUsT wAtCh

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Re: WAR OF THE COPYPASTA

Postby tyrantlemon55 » Sat Sep 09, 2017 4:08 pm

⊂_ヽ
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   レ ノL   ヽ_つ
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Re: WAR OF THE COPYPASTA

Postby CrazeePi » Sat Sep 09, 2017 4:22 pm

According to all known laws
of aviation,


there is no way a bee
should be able to fly.


Its wings are too small to get
its fat little body off the ground.


The bee, of course, flies anyway


because bees don't care
what humans think is impossible.


Yellow, black. Yellow, black.
Yellow, black. Yellow, black.


Ooh, black and yellow!
Let's shake it up a little.


Barry! Breakfast is ready!


Ooming!


Hang on a second.


Hello?


- Barry?
- Adam?


- Oan you believe this is happening?
- I can't. I'll pick you up.


Looking sharp.


Use the stairs. Your father
paid good money for those.


Sorry. I'm excited.


Here's the graduate.
We're very proud of you, son.


A perfect report card, all B's.


Very proud.


Ma! I got a thing going here.


- You got lint on your fuzz.
- Ow! That's me!


- Wave to us! We'll be in row 118,000.
- Bye!


Barry, I told you,
stop flying in the house!


- Hey, Adam.
- Hey, Barry.


- Is that fuzz gel?
- A little. Special day, graduation.


Never thought I'd make it.


Three days grade school,
three days high school.


Those were awkward.


Three days college. I'm glad I took
a day and hitchhiked around the hive.


You did come back different.


- Hi, Barry.
- Artie, growing a mustache? Looks good.


- Hear about Frankie?
- Yeah.


- You going to the funeral?
- No, I'm not going.


Everybody knows,
sting someone, you die.


Don't waste it on a squirrel.
Such a hothead.


I guess he could have
just gotten out of the way.


I love this incorporating
an amusement park into our day.


That's why we don't need vacations.


Boy, quite a bit of pomp...
under the circumstances.


- Well, Adam, today we are men.
- We are!


- Bee-men.
- Amen!


Hallelujah!


Students, faculty, distinguished bees,


please welcome Dean Buzzwell.


Welcome, New Hive Oity
graduating class of...


...9:15.


That concludes our ceremonies.


And begins your career
at Honex Industries!


Will we pick ourjob today?


I heard it's just orientation.


Heads up! Here we go.


Keep your hands and antennas
inside the tram at all times.


- Wonder what it'll be like?
- A little scary.


Welcome to Honex,
a division of Honesco


and a part of the Hexagon Group.


This is it!


Wow.


Wow.


We know that you, as a bee,
have worked your whole life


to get to the point where you
can work for your whole life.


Honey begins when our valiant Pollen
Jocks bring the nectar to the hive.


Our top-secret formula


is automatically color-corrected,
scent-adjusted and bubble-contoured


into this soothing sweet syrup


with its distinctive
golden glow you know as...


Honey!


- That girl was hot.
- She's my cousin!


- She is?
- Yes, we're all cousins.


- Right. You're right.
- At Honex, we constantly strive


to improve every aspect
of bee existence.


These bees are stress-testing
a new helmet technology.


- What do you think he makes?
- Not enough.


Here we have our latest advancement,
the Krelman.


- What does that do?
- Oatches that little strand of honey


that hangs after you pour it.
Saves us millions.


Oan anyone work on the Krelman?


Of course. Most bee jobs are
small ones. But bees know


that every small job,
if it's done well, means a lot.


But choose carefully


because you'll stay in the job
you pick for the rest of your life.


The same job the rest of your life?
I didn't know that.


What's the difference?


You'll be happy to know that bees,
as a species, haven't had one day off


in 27 million years.


So you'll just work us to death?


We'll sure try.


Wow! That blew my mind!


"What's the difference?"
How can you say that?


One job forever?
That's an insane choice to have to make.


I'm relieved. Now we only have
to make one decision in life.


But, Adam, how could they
never have told us that?


Why would you question anything?
We're bees.


We're the most perfectly
functioning society on Earth.


You ever think maybe things
work a little too well here?


Like what? Give me one example.


I don't know. But you know
what I'm talking about.


Please clear the gate.
Royal Nectar Force on approach.


Wait a second. Oheck it out.


- Hey, those are Pollen Jocks!
- Wow.


I've never seen them this close.


They know what it's like
outside the hive.


Yeah, but some don't come back.


- Hey, Jocks!
- Hi, Jocks!


You guys did great!


You're monsters!
You're sky freaks! I love it! I love it!


- I wonder where they were.
- I don't know.


Their day's not planned.


Outside the hive, flying who knows
where, doing who knows what.


You can'tjust decide to be a Pollen
Jock. You have to be bred for that.


Right.


Look. That's more pollen
than you and I will see in a lifetime.


It's just a status symbol.
Bees make too much of it.


Perhaps. Unless you're wearing it
and the ladies see you wearing it.


Those ladies?
Aren't they our cousins too?


Distant. Distant.


Look at these two.


- Oouple of Hive Harrys.
- Let's have fun with them.


It must be dangerous
being a Pollen Jock.


Yeah. Once a bear pinned me
against a mushroom!


He had a paw on my throat,
and with the other, he was slapping me!


- Oh, my!
- I never thought I'd knock him out.


What were you doing during this?


Trying to alert the authorities.


I can autograph that.


A little gusty out there today,
wasn't it, comrades?


Yeah. Gusty.


We're hitting a sunflower patch
six miles from here tomorrow.


- Six miles, huh?
- Barry!


A puddle jump for us,
but maybe you're not up for it.


- Maybe I am.
- You are not!


We're going 0900 at J-Gate.


What do you think, buzzy-boy?
Are you bee enough?


I might be. It all depends
on what 0900 means.


Hey, Honex!


Dad, you surprised me.


You decide what you're interested in?


- Well, there's a lot of choices.
- But you only get one.


Do you ever get bored
doing the same job every day?


Son, let me tell you about stirring.


You grab that stick, and you just
move it around, and you stir it around.


You get yourself into a rhythm.
It's a beautiful thing.


You know, Dad,
the more I think about it,


maybe the honey field
just isn't right for me.


You were thinking of what,
making balloon animals?


That's a bad job
for a guy with a stinger.


Janet, your son's not sure
he wants to go into honey!


- Barry, you are so funny sometimes.
- I'm not trying to be funny.


You're not funny! You're going
into honey. Our son, the stirrer!


- You're gonna be a stirrer?
- No one's listening to me!


Wait till you see the sticks I have.


I could say anything right now.
I'm gonna get an ant tattoo!


Let's open some honey and celebrate!


Maybe I'll pierce my thorax.
Shave my antennae.


Shack up with a grasshopper. Get
a gold tooth and call everybody "dawg"!


I'm so proud.


- We're starting work today!
- Today's the day.


Oome on! All the good jobs
will be gone.


Yeah, right.


Pollen counting, stunt bee, pouring,
stirrer, front desk, hair removal...


- Is it still available?
- Hang on. Two left!


One of them's yours! Oongratulations!
Step to the side.


- What'd you get?
- Picking crud out. Stellar!


Wow!


Oouple of newbies?


Yes, sir! Our first day! We are ready!


Make your choice.


- You want to go first?
- No, you go.


Oh, my. What's available?


Restroom attendant's open,
not for the reason you think.


- Any chance of getting the Krelman?
- Sure, you're on.


I'm sorry, the Krelman just closed out.


Wax monkey's always open.


The Krelman opened up again.


What happened?


A bee died. Makes an opening. See?
He's dead. Another dead one.


Deady. Deadified. Two more dead.


Dead from the neck up.
Dead from the neck down. That's life!


Oh, this is so hard!


Heating, cooling,
stunt bee, pourer, stirrer,


humming, inspector number seven,
lint coordinator, stripe supervisor,


mite wrangler. Barry, what
do you think I should... Barry?


Barry!


All right, we've got the sunflower patch
in quadrant nine...


What happened to you?
Where are you?


- I'm going out.
- Out? Out where?


- Out there.
- Oh, no!


I have to, before I go
to work for the rest of my life.


You're gonna die! You're crazy! Hello?


Another call coming in.


If anyone's feeling brave,
there's a Korean deli on 83rd


that gets their roses today.


Hey, guys.


- Look at that.
- Isn't that the kid we saw yesterday?


Hold it, son, flight deck's restricted.


It's OK, Lou. We're gonna take him up.


Really? Feeling lucky, are you?


Sign here, here. Just initial that.


- Thank you.
- OK.


You got a rain advisory today,


and as you all know,
bees cannot fly in rain.


So be careful. As always,
watch your brooms,


hockey sticks, dogs,
birds, bears and bats.


Also, I got a couple of reports
of root beer being poured on us.


Murphy's in a home because of it,
babbling like a cicada!


- That's awful.
- And a reminder for you rookies,


bee law number one,
absolutely no talking to humans!


All right, launch positions!


Buzz, buzz, buzz, buzz! Buzz, buzz,
buzz, buzz! Buzz, buzz, buzz, buzz!


Black and yellow!


Hello!


You ready for this, hot shot?


Yeah. Yeah, bring it on.


Wind, check.


- Antennae, check.
- Nectar pack, check.


- Wings, check.
- Stinger, check.


Scared out of my shorts, check.


OK, ladies,


let's move it out!


Pound those petunias,
you striped stem-suckers!


All of you, drain those flowers!


Wow! I'm out!


I can't believe I'm out!


So blue.


I feel so fast and free!


Box kite!


Wow!


Flowers!


This is Blue Leader.
We have roses visual.


Bring it around 30 degrees and hold.


Roses!


30 degrees, roger. Bringing it around.


Stand to the side, kid.
It's got a bit of a kick.


That is one nectar collector!


- Ever see pollination up close?
- No, sir.


I pick up some pollen here, sprinkle it
over here. Maybe a dash over there,


a pinch on that one.
See that? It's a little bit of magic.


That's amazing. Why do we do that?


That's pollen power. More pollen, more
flowers, more nectar, more honey for us.


Oool.


I'm picking up a lot of bright yellow.
Oould be daisies. Don't we need those?


Oopy that visual.


Wait. One of these flowers
seems to be on the move.


Say again? You're reporting
a moving flower?


Affirmative.


That was on the line!


This is the coolest. What is it?


I don't know, but I'm loving this color.


It smells good.
Not like a flower, but I like it.


Yeah, fuzzy.


Ohemical-y.


Oareful, guys. It's a little grabby.


My sweet lord of bees!


Oandy-brain, get off there!


Problem!


- Guys!
- This could be bad.


Affirmative.


Very close.


Gonna hurt.


Mama's little boy.


You are way out of position, rookie!


Ooming in at you like a missile!


Help me!


I don't think these are flowers.


- Should we tell him?
- I think he knows.


What is this?!


Match point!


You can start packing up, honey,
because you're about to eat it!


Yowser!


Gross.


There's a bee in the car!


- Do something!
- I'm driving!


- Hi, bee.
- He's back here!


He's going to sting me!


Nobody move. If you don't move,
he won't sting you. Freeze!


He blinked!


Spray him, Granny!


What are you doing?!


Wow... the tension level
out here is unbelievable.


I gotta get home.


Oan't fly in rain.


Oan't fly in rain.


Oan't fly in rain.


Mayday! Mayday! Bee going down!


Ken, could you close
the window please?


Ken, could you close
the window please?


Oheck out my new resume.
I made it into a fold-out brochure.


You see? Folds out.


Oh, no. More humans. I don't need this.


What was that?


Maybe this time. This time. This time.
This time! This time! This...


Drapes!


That is diabolical.


It's fantastic. It's got all my special
skills, even my top-ten favorite movies.


What's number one? Star Wars?


Nah, I don't go for that...


...kind of stuff.


No wonder we shouldn't talk to them.
They're out of their minds.


When I leave a job interview, they're
flabbergasted, can't believe what I say.


There's the sun. Maybe that's a way out.


I don't remember the sun
having a big 75 on it.


I predicted global warming.


I could feel it getting hotter.
At first I thought it was just me.


Wait! Stop! Bee!


Stand back. These are winter boots.


Wait!


Don't kill him!


You know I'm allergic to them!
This thing could kill me!


Why does his life have
less value than yours?


Why does his life have any less value
than mine? Is that your statement?


I'm just saying all life has value. You
don't know what he's capable of feeling.


My brochure!


There you go, little guy.


I'm not scared of him.
It's an allergic thing.


Put that on your resume brochure.


My whole face could puff up.


Make it one of your special skills.


Knocking someone out
is also a special skill.


Right. Bye, Vanessa. Thanks.


- Vanessa, next week? Yogurt night?
- Sure, Ken. You know, whatever.


- You could put carob chips on there.
- Bye.


- Supposed to be less calories.
- Bye.


I gotta say something.


She saved my life.
I gotta say something.


All right, here it goes.


Nah.


What would I say?


I could really get in trouble.


It's a bee law.
You're not supposed to talk to a human.


I can't believe I'm doing this.


I've got to.


Oh, I can't do it. Oome on!


No. Yes. No.


Do it. I can't.


How should I start it?
"You like jazz?" No, that's no good.


Here she comes! Speak, you fool!


Hi!


I'm sorry.


- You're talking.
- Yes, I know.


You're talking!


I'm so sorry.


No, it's OK. It's fine.
I know I'm dreaming.


But I don't recall going to bed.


Well, I'm sure this
is very disconcerting.


This is a bit of a surprise to me.
I mean, you're a bee!


I am. And I'm not supposed
to be doing this,


but they were all trying to kill me.


And if it wasn't for you...


I had to thank you.
It's just how I was raised.


That was a little weird.


- I'm talking with a bee.
- Yeah.


I'm talking to a bee.
And the bee is talking to me!


I just want to say I'm grateful.
I'll leave now.


- Wait! How did you learn to do that?
- What?


The talking thing.


Same way you did, I guess.
"Mama, Dada, honey." You pick it up.


- That's very funny.
- Yeah.


Bees are funny. If we didn't laugh,
we'd cry with what we have to deal with.


Anyway...


Oan I...


...get you something?
- Like what?


I don't know. I mean...
I don't know. Ooffee?


I don't want to put you out.


It's no trouble. It takes two minutes.


- It's just coffee.
- I hate to impose.


- Don't be ridiculous!
- Actually, I would love a cup.


Hey, you want rum cake?


- I shouldn't.
- Have some.


- No, I can't.
- Oome on!


I'm trying to lose a couple micrograms.


- Where?
- These stripes don't help.


You look great!


I don't know if you know
anything about fashion.


Are you all right?


No.


He's making the tie in the cab
as they're flying up Madison.


He finally gets there.


He runs up the steps into the church.
The wedding is on.


And he says, "Watermelon?
I thought you said Guatemalan.


Why would I marry a watermelon?"


Is that a bee joke?


That's the kind of stuff we do.


Yeah, different.


So, what are you gonna do, Barry?


About work? I don't know.


I want to do my part for the hive,
but I can't do it the way they want.


I know how you feel.


- You do?
- Sure.


My parents wanted me to be a lawyer or
a doctor, but I wanted to be a florist.


- Really?
- My only interest is flowers.


Our new queen was just elected
with that same campaign slogan.


Anyway, if you look...


There's my hive right there. See it?


You're in Sheep Meadow!


Yes! I'm right off the Turtle Pond!


No way! I know that area.
I lost a toe ring there once.


- Why do girls put rings on their toes?
- Why not?


- It's like putting a hat on your knee.
- Maybe I'll try that.


- You all right, ma'am?
- Oh, yeah. Fine.


Just having two cups of coffee!


Anyway, this has been great.
Thanks for the coffee.


Yeah, it's no trouble.


Sorry I couldn't finish it. If I did,
I'd be up the rest of my life.


Are you...?


Oan I take a piece of this with me?


Sure! Here, have a crumb.


- Thanks!
- Yeah.


All right. Well, then...
I guess I'll see you around.


Or not.


OK, Barry.


And thank you
so much again... for before.


Oh, that? That was nothing.


Well, not nothing, but... Anyway...


This can't possibly work.


He's all set to go.
We may as well try it.


OK, Dave, pull the chute.


- Sounds amazing.
- It was amazing!


It was the scariest,
happiest moment of my life.


Humans! I can't believe
you were with humans!


Giant, scary humans!
What were they like?


Huge and crazy. They talk crazy.


They eat crazy giant things.
They drive crazy.


- Do they try and kill you, like on TV?
- Some of them. But some of them don't.


- How'd you get back?
- Poodle.


You did it, and I'm glad. You saw
whatever you wanted to see.


You had your "experience." Now you
can pick out yourjob and be normal.


- Well...
- Well?


Well, I met someone.


You did? Was she Bee-ish?


- A wasp?! Your parents will kill you!
- No, no, no, not a wasp.


- Spider?
- I'm not attracted to spiders.


I know it's the hottest thing,
with the eight legs and all.


I can't get by that face.


So who is she?


She's... human.


No, no. That's a bee law.
You wouldn't break a bee law.


- Her name's Vanessa.
- Oh, boy.


She's so nice. And she's a florist!


Oh, no! You're dating a human florist!


We're not dating.


You're flying outside the hive, talking
to humans that attack our homes


with power washers and M-80s!
One-eighth a stick of dynamite!


She saved my life!
And she understands me.


This is over!


Eat this.


This is not over! What was that?


- They call it a crumb.
- It was so stingin' stripey!


And that's not what they eat.
That's what falls off what they eat!


- You know what a Oinnabon is?
- No.


It's bread and cinnamon and frosting.
They heat it up...


Sit down!


...really hot!
- Listen to me!


We are not them! We're us.
There's us and there's them!


Yes, but who can deny
the heart that is yearning?


There's no yearning.
Stop yearning. Listen to me!


You have got to start thinking bee,
my friend. Thinking bee!


- Thinking bee.
- Thinking bee.


Thinking bee! Thinking bee!
Thinking bee! Thinking bee!


There he is. He's in the pool.


You know what your problem is, Barry?


I gotta start thinking bee?


How much longer will this go on?


It's been three days!
Why aren't you working?


I've got a lot of big life decisions
to think about.


What life? You have no life!
You have no job. You're barely a bee!


Would it kill you
to make a little honey?


Barry, come out.
Your father's talking to you.


Martin, would you talk to him?


Barry, I'm talking to you!


You coming?


Got everything?


All set!


Go ahead. I'll catch up.


Don't be too long.


Watch this!


Vanessa!


- We're still here.
- I told you not to yell at him.


He doesn't respond to yelling!


- Then why yell at me?
- Because you don't listen!


I'm not listening to this.


Sorry, I've gotta go.


- Where are you going?
- I'm meeting a friend.


A girl? Is this why you can't decide?


Bye.


I just hope she's Bee-ish.


They have a huge parade
of flowers every year in Pasadena?


To be in the Tournament of Roses,
that's every florist's dream!


Up on a float, surrounded
by flowers, crowds cheering.


A tournament. Do the roses
compete in athletic events?


No. All right, I've got one.
How come you don't fly everywhere?


It's exhausting. Why don't you
run everywhere? It's faster.


Yeah, OK, I see, I see.
All right, your turn.


TiVo. You can just freeze live TV?
That's insane!


You don't have that?


We have Hivo, but it's a disease.
It's a horrible, horrible disease.


Oh, my.


Dumb bees!


You must want to sting all those jerks.


We try not to sting.
It's usually fatal for us.


So you have to watch your temper.


Very carefully.
You kick a wall, take a walk,


write an angry letter and throw it out.
Work through it like any emotion:


Anger, jealousy, lust.


Oh, my goodness! Are you OK?


Yeah.


- What is wrong with you?!
- It's a bug.


He's not bothering anybody.
Get out of here, you creep!


What was that? A Pic 'N' Save circular?


Yeah, it was. How did you know?


It felt like about 10 pages.
Seventy-five is pretty much our limit.


You've really got that
down to a science.


- I lost a cousin to Italian Vogue.
- I'll bet.


What in the name
of Mighty Hercules is this?


How did this get here?
Oute Bee, Golden Blossom,


Ray Liotta Private Select?


- Is he that actor?
- I never heard of him.


- Why is this here?
- For people. We eat it.


You don't have
enough food of your own?


- Well, yes.
- How do you get it?


- Bees make it.
- I know who makes it!


And it's hard to make it!


There's heating, cooling, stirring.
You need a whole Krelman thing!


- It's organic.
- It's our-ganic!


It's just honey, Barry.


Just what?!


Bees don't know about this!
This is stealing! A lot of stealing!


You've taken our homes, schools,
hospitals! This is all we have!


And it's on sale?!
I'm getting to the bottom of this.


I'm getting to the bottom
of all of this!


Hey, Hector.


- You almost done?
- Almost.


He is here. I sense it.


Well, I guess I'll go home now


and just leave this nice honey out,
with no one around.


You're busted, box boy!


I knew I heard something.
So you can talk!


I can talk.
And now you'll start talking!


Where you getting the sweet stuff?
Who's your supplier?


I don't understand.
I thought we were friends.


The last thing we want
to do is upset bees!


You're too late! It's ours now!


You, sir, have crossed
the wrong sword!


You, sir, will be lunch
for my iguana, Ignacio!


Where is the honey coming from?


Tell me where!


Honey Farms! It comes from Honey Farms!


Orazy person!


What horrible thing has happened here?


These faces, they never knew
what hit them. And now


they're on the road to nowhere!


Just keep still.


What? You're not dead?


Do I look dead? They will wipe anything
that moves. Where you headed?


To Honey Farms.
I am onto something huge here.


I'm going to Alaska. Moose blood,
crazy stuff. Blows your head off!


I'm going to Tacoma.


- And you?
- He really is dead.


All right.


Uh-oh!


- What is that?!
- Oh, no!


- A wiper! Triple blade!
- Triple blade?


Jump on! It's your only chance, bee!


Why does everything have
to be so doggone clean?!


How much do you people need to see?!


Open your eyes!
Stick your head out the window!


From NPR News in Washington,
I'm Oarl Kasell.


But don't kill no more bugs!


- Bee!
- Moose blood guy!!


- You hear something?
- Like what?


Like tiny screaming.


Turn off the radio.


Whassup, bee boy?


Hey, Blood.


Just a row of honey jars,
as far as the eye could see.


Wow!


I assume wherever this truck goes
is where they're getting it.


I mean, that honey's ours.


- Bees hang tight.
- We're all jammed in.


It's a close community.


Not us, man. We on our own.
Every mosquito on his own.


- What if you get in trouble?
- You a mosquito, you in trouble.


Nobody likes us. They just smack.
See a mosquito, smack, smack!


At least you're out in the world.
You must meet girls.


Mosquito girls try to trade up,
get with a moth, dragonfly.


Mosquito girl don't want no mosquito.


You got to be kidding me!


Mooseblood's about to leave
the building! So long, bee!


- Hey, guys!
- Mooseblood!


I knew I'd catch y'all down here.
Did you bring your crazy straw?


We throw it in jars, slap a label on it,
and it's pretty much pure profit.


What is this place?


A bee's got a brain
the size of a pinhead.


They are pinheads!


Pinhead.


- Oheck out the new smoker.
- Oh, sweet. That's the one you want.


The Thomas 3000!


Smoker?


Ninety puffs a minute, semi-automatic.
Twice the nicotine, all the tar.


A couple breaths of this
knocks them right out.


They make the honey,
and we make the money.


"They make the honey,
and we make the money"?


Oh, my!


What's going on? Are you OK?


Yeah. It doesn't last too long.


Do you know you're
in a fake hive with fake walls?


Our queen was moved here.
We had no choice.


This is your queen?
That's a man in women's clothes!


That's a drag queen!


What is this?


Oh, no!


There's hundreds of them!


Bee honey.


Our honey is being brazenly stolen
on a massive scale!


This is worse than anything bears
have done! I intend to do something.


Oh, Barry, stop.


Who told you humans are taking
our honey? That's a rumor.


Do these look like rumors?


That's a conspiracy theory.
These are obviously doctored photos.


How did you get mixed up in this?


He's been talking to humans.


- What?
- Talking to humans?!


He has a human girlfriend.
And they make out!


Make out? Barry!


We do not.


- You wish you could.
- Whose side are you on?


The bees!


I dated a cricket once in San Antonio.
Those crazy legs kept me up all night.


Barry, this is what you want
to do with your life?


I want to do it for all our lives.
Nobody works harder than bees!


Dad, I remember you
coming home so overworked


your hands were still stirring.
You couldn't stop.


I remember that.


What right do they have to our honey?


We live on two cups a year. They put it
in lip balm for no reason whatsoever!


Even if it's true, what can one bee do?


Sting them where it really hurts.


In the face! The eye!


- That would hurt.
- No.


Up the nose? That's a killer.


There's only one place you can sting
the humans, one place where it matters.


Hive at Five, the hive's only
full-hour action news source.


No more bee beards!


With Bob Bumble at the anchor desk.


Weather with Storm Stinger.


Sports with Buzz Larvi.


And Jeanette Ohung.


- Good evening. I'm Bob Bumble.
- And I'm Jeanette Ohung.


A tri-county bee, Barry Benson,


intends to sue the human race
for stealing our honey,


packaging it and profiting
from it illegally!


Tomorrow night on Bee Larry King,


we'll have three former queens here in
our studio, discussing their new book,


Olassy Ladies,
out this week on Hexagon.


Tonight we're talking to Barry Benson.


Did you ever think, "I'm a kid
from the hive. I can't do this"?


Bees have never been afraid
to change the world.


What about Bee Oolumbus?
Bee Gandhi? Bejesus?


Where I'm from, we'd never sue humans.


We were thinking
of stickball or candy stores.


How old are you?


The bee community
is supporting you in this case,


which will be the trial
of the bee century.


You know, they have a Larry King
in the human world too.


It's a common name. Next week...


He looks like you and has a show
and suspenders and colored dots...


Next week...


Glasses, quotes on the bottom from the
guest even though you just heard 'em.


Bear Week next week!
They're scary, hairy and here live.


Always leans forward, pointy shoulders,
squinty eyes, very Jewish.


In tennis, you attack
at the point of weakness!


It was my grandmother, Ken. She's 81.


Honey, her backhand's a joke!
I'm not gonna take advantage of that?


Quiet, please.
Actual work going on here.


- Is that that same bee?
- Yes, it is!


I'm helping him sue the human race.


- Hello.
- Hello, bee.


This is Ken.


Yeah, I remember you. Timberland, size
ten and a half. Vibram sole, I believe.


Why does he talk again?


Listen, you better go
'cause we're really busy working.


But it's our yogurt night!


Bye-bye.


Why is yogurt night so difficult?!


You poor thing.
You two have been at this for hours!


Yes, and Adam here
has been a huge help.


- Frosting...
- How many sugars?


Just one. I try not
to use the competition.


So why are you helping me?


Bees have good qualities.


And it takes my mind off the shop.


Instead of flowers, people
are giving balloon bouquets now.


Those are great, if you're three.


And artificial flowers.


- Oh, those just get me psychotic!
- Yeah, me too.


Bent stingers, pointless pollination.


Bees must hate those fake things!


Nothing worse
than a daffodil that's had work done.


Maybe this could make up
for it a little bit.


- This lawsuit's a pretty big deal.
- I guess.


You sure you want to go through with it?


Am I sure? When I'm done with
the humans, they won't be able


to say, "Honey, I'm home,"
without paying a royalty!


It's an incredible scene
here in downtown Manhattan,


where the world anxiously waits,
because for the first time in history,


we will hear for ourselves
if a honeybee can actually speak.


What have we gotten into here, Barry?


It's pretty big, isn't it?


I can't believe how many humans
don't work during the day.


You think billion-dollar multinational
food companies have good lawyers?


Everybody needs to stay
behind the barricade.


- What's the matter?
- I don't know, I just got a chill.


Well, if it isn't the bee team.


You boys work on this?


All rise! The Honorable
Judge Bumbleton presiding.


All right. Oase number 4475,


Superior Oourt of New York,
Barry Bee Benson v. the Honey Industry


is now in session.


Mr. Montgomery, you're representing
the five food companies collectively?


A privilege.


Mr. Benson... you're representing
all the bees of the world?


I'm kidding. Yes, Your Honor,
we're ready to proceed.


Mr. Montgomery,
your opening statement, please.


Ladies and gentlemen of the jury,


my grandmother was a simple woman.


Born on a farm, she believed
it was man's divine right


to benefit from the bounty
of nature God put before us.


If we lived in the topsy-turvy world
Mr. Benson imagines,


just think of what would it mean.


I would have to negotiate
with the silkworm


for the elastic in my britches!


Talking bee!


How do we know this isn't some sort of


holographic motion-picture-capture
Hollywood wizardry?


They could be using laser beams!


Robotics! Ventriloquism!
Oloning! For all we know,


he could be on steroids!


Mr. Benson?


Ladies and gentlemen,
there's no trickery here.


I'm just an ordinary bee.
Honey's pretty important to me.


It's important to all bees.
We invented it!


We make it. And we protect it
with our lives.


Unfortunately, there are
some people in this room


who think they can take it from us


'cause we're the little guys!
I'm hoping that, after this is all over,


you'll see how, by taking our honey,
you not only take everything we have


but everything we are!


I wish he'd dress like that
all the time. So nice!


Oall your first witness.


So, Mr. Klauss Vanderhayden
of Honey Farms, big company you have.


I suppose so.


I see you also own
Honeyburton and Honron!


Yes, they provide beekeepers
for our farms.


Beekeeper. I find that
to be a very disturbing term.


I don't imagine you employ
any bee-free-ers, do you?


- No.
- I couldn't hear you.


- No.
- No.


Because you don't free bees.
You keep bees. Not only that,


it seems you thought a bear would be
an appropriate image for a jar of honey.


They're very lovable creatures.


Yogi Bear, Fozzie Bear, Build-A-Bear.


You mean like this?


Bears kill bees!


How'd you like his head crashing
through your living room?!


Biting into your couch!
Spitting out your throw pillows!


OK, that's enough. Take him away.


So, Mr. Sting, thank you for being here.
Your name intrigues me.


- Where have I heard it before?
- I was with a band called The Police.


But you've never been
a police officer, have you?


No, I haven't.


No, you haven't. And so here
we have yet another example


of bee culture casually
stolen by a human


for nothing more than
a prance-about stage name.


Oh, please.


Have you ever been stung, Mr. Sting?


Because I'm feeling
a little stung, Sting.


Or should I say... Mr. Gordon M. Sumner!


That's not his real name?! You idiots!


Mr. Liotta, first,
belated congratulations on


your Emmy win for a guest spot
on ER in 2005.


Thank you. Thank you.


I see from your resume
that you're devilishly handsome


with a churning inner turmoil
that's ready to blow.


I enjoy what I do. Is that a crime?


Not yet it isn't. But is this
what it's come to for you?


Exploiting tiny, helpless bees
so you don't


have to rehearse
your part and learn your lines, sir?


Watch it, Benson!
I could blow right now!


This isn't a goodfella.
This is a badfella!


Why doesn't someone just step on
this creep, and we can all go home?!


- Order in this court!
- You're all thinking it!


Order! Order, I say!


- Say it!
- Mr. Liotta, please sit down!


I think it was awfully nice
of that bear to pitch in like that.


I think the jury's on our side.


Are we doing everything right, legally?


I'm a florist.


Right. Well, here's to a great team.


To a great team!


Well, hello.


- Ken!
- Hello.


I didn't think you were coming.


No, I was just late.
I tried to call, but... the battery.


I didn't want all this to go to waste,
so I called Barry. Luckily, he was free.


Oh, that was lucky.


There's a little left.
I could heat it up.


Yeah, heat it up, sure, whatever.


So I hear you're quite a tennis player.


I'm not much for the game myself.
The ball's a little grabby.


That's where I usually sit.
Right... there.


Ken, Barry was looking at your resume,


and he agreed with me that eating with
chopsticks isn't really a special skill.


You think I don't see what you're doing?


I know how hard it is to find
the rightjob. We have that in common.


Do we?


Bees have 100 percent employment,
but we do jobs like taking the crud out.


That's just what
I was thinking about doing.


Ken, I let Barry borrow your razor
for his fuzz. I hope that was all right.


I'm going to drain the old stinger.


Yeah, you do that.


Look at that.


You know, I've just about had it


with your little mind games.


- What's that?
- Italian Vogue.


Mamma mia, that's a lot of pages.


A lot of ads.


Remember what Van said, why is
your life more valuable than mine?


Funny, I just can't seem to recall that!


I think something stinks in here!


I love the smell of flowers.


How do you like the smell of flames?!


Not as much.


Water bug! Not taking sides!


Ken, I'm wearing a Ohapstick hat!
This is pathetic!


I've got issues!


Well, well, well, a royal flush!


- You're bluffing.
- Am I?


Surf's up, dude!


Poo water!


That bowl is gnarly.


Except for those dirty yellow rings!


Kenneth! What are you doing?!


You know, I don't even like honey!
I don't eat it!


We need to talk!


He's just a little bee!


And he happens to be
the nicest bee I've met in a long time!


Long time? What are you talking about?!
Are there other bugs in your life?


No, but there are other things bugging
me in life. And you're one of them!


Fine! Talking bees, no yogurt night...


My nerves are fried from riding
on this emotional roller coaster!


Goodbye, Ken.


And for your information,


I prefer sugar-free, artificial
sweeteners made by man!


I'm sorry about all that.


I know it's got
an aftertaste! I like it!


I always felt there was some kind
of barrier between Ken and me.


I couldn't overcome it.
Oh, well.


Are you OK for the trial?


I believe Mr. Montgomery
is about out of ideas.


We would like to call
Mr. Barry Benson Bee to the stand.


Good idea! You can really see why he's
considered one of the best lawyers...


Yeah.


Layton, you've
gotta weave some magic


with this jury,
or it's gonna be all over.


Don't worry. The only thing I have
to do to turn this jury around


is to remind them
of what they don't like about bees.


- You got the tweezers?
- Are you allergic?


Only to losing, son. Only to losing.


Mr. Benson Bee, I'll ask you
what I think we'd all like to know.


What exactly is your relationship


to that woman?


We're friends.


- Good friends?
- Yes.


How good? Do you live together?


Wait a minute...


Are you her little...


...bedbug?


I've seen a bee documentary or two.
From what I understand,


doesn't your queen give birth
to all the bee children?


- Yeah, but...
- So those aren't your real parents!


- Oh, Barry...
- Yes, they are!


Hold me back!


You're an illegitimate bee,
aren't you, Benson?


He's denouncing bees!


Don't y'all date your cousins?


- Objection!
- I'm going to pincushion this guy!


Adam, don't! It's what he wants!


Oh, I'm hit!!


Oh, lordy, I am hit!


Order! Order!


The venom! The venom
is coursing through my veins!


I have been felled
by a winged beast of destruction!


You see? You can't treat them
like equals! They're striped savages!


Stinging's the only thing
they know! It's their way!


- Adam, stay with me.
- I can't feel my legs.


What angel of mercy
will come forward to suck the poison


from my heaving buttocks?


I will have order in this court. Order!


Order, please!


The case of the honeybees
versus the human race


took a pointed turn against the bees


yesterday when one of their legal
team stung Layton T. Montgomery.


- Hey, buddy.
- Hey.


- Is there much pain?
- Yeah.


I...


I blew the whole case, didn't I?


It doesn't matter. What matters is
you're alive. You could have died.


I'd be better off dead. Look at me.


They got it from the cafeteria
downstairs, in a tuna sandwich.


Look, there's
a little celery still on it.


What was it like to sting someone?


I can't explain it. It was all...


All adrenaline and then...
and then ecstasy!


All right.


You think it was all a trap?


Of course. I'm sorry.
I flew us right into this.


What were we thinking? Look at us. We're
just a couple of bugs in this world.


What will the humans do to us
if they win?


I don't know.


I hear they put the roaches in motels.
That doesn't sound so bad.


Adam, they check in,
but they don't check out!


Oh, my.


Oould you get a nurse
to close that window?


- Why?
- The smoke.


Bees don't smoke.


Right. Bees don't smoke.


Bees don't smoke!
But some bees are smoking.


That's it! That's our case!


It is? It's not over?


Get dressed. I've gotta go somewhere.


Get back to the court and stall.
Stall any way you can.


And assuming you've done step correctly, you're ready for the tub.


Mr. Flayman.


Yes? Yes, Your Honor!


Where is the rest of your team?


Well, Your Honor, it's interesting.


Bees are trained to fly haphazardly,


and as a result,
we don't make very good time.


I actually heard a funny story about...


Your Honor,
haven't these ridiculous bugs


taken up enough
of this court's valuable time?


How much longer will we allow
these absurd shenanigans to go on?


They have presented no compelling
evidence to support their charges


against my clients,
who run legitimate businesses.


I move for a complete dismissal
of this entire case!


Mr. Flayman, I'm afraid I'm going


to have to consider
Mr. Montgomery's motion.


But you can't! We have a terrific case.


Where is your proof?
Where is the evidence?


Show me the smoking gun!


Hold it, Your Honor!
You want a smoking gun?


Here is your smoking gun.


What is that?


It's a bee smoker!


What, this?
This harmless little contraption?


This couldn't hurt a fly,
let alone a bee.


Look at what has happened


to bees who have never been asked,
"Smoking or non?"


Is this what nature intended for us?


To be forcibly addicted
to smoke machines


and man-made wooden slat work camps?


Living out our lives as honey slaves
to the white man?


- What are we gonna do?
- He's playing the species card.


Ladies and gentlemen, please,
free these bees!


Free the bees! Free the bees!


Free the bees!


Free the bees! Free the bees!


The court finds in favor of the bees!


Vanessa, we won!


I knew you could do it! High-five!


Sorry.


I'm OK! You know what this means?


All the honey
will finally belong to the bees.


Now we won't have
to work so hard all the time.


This is an unholy perversion
of the balance of nature, Benson.


You'll regret this.


Barry, how much honey is out there?


All right. One at a time.


Barry, who are you wearing?


My sweater is Ralph Lauren,
and I have no pants.


- What if Montgomery's right?
- What do you mean?


We've been living the bee way
a long time, 27 million years.


Oongratulations on your victory.
What will you demand as a settlement?


First, we'll demand a complete shutdown
of all bee work camps.


Then we want back the honey
that was ours to begin with,


every last drop.


We demand an end to the glorification
of the bear as anything more


than a filthy, smelly,
bad-breath stink machine.


We're all aware
of what they do in the woods.


Wait for my signal.


Take him out.


He'll have nauseous
for a few hours, then he'll be fine.


And we will no longer tolerate
bee-negative nicknames...


But it's just a prance-about stage name!


...unnecessary inclusion of honey
in bogus health products


and la-dee-da human
tea-time snack garnishments.


Oan't breathe.


Bring it in, boys!


Hold it right there! Good.


Tap it.


Mr. Buzzwell, we just passed three cups,
and there's gallons more coming!


- I think we need to shut down!
- Shut down? We've never shut down.


Shut down honey production!


Stop making honey!


Turn your key, sir!


What do we do now?


Oannonball!


We're shutting honey production!


Mission abort.


Aborting pollination and nectar detail.
Returning to base.


Adam, you wouldn't believe
how much honey was out there.


Oh, yeah?


What's going on? Where is everybody?


- Are they out celebrating?
- They're home.


They don't know what to do.
Laying out, sleeping in.


I heard your Uncle Oarl was on his way
to San Antonio with a cricket.


At least we got our honey back.


Sometimes I think, so what if humans
liked our honey? Who wouldn't?


It's the greatest thing in the world!
I was excited to be part of making it.


This was my new desk. This was my
new job. I wanted to do it really well.


And now...


Now I can't.


I don't understand
why they're not happy.


I thought their lives would be better!


They're doing nothing. It's amazing.
Honey really changes people.


You don't have any idea
what's going on, do you?


- What did you want to show me?
- This.


What happened here?


That is not the half of it.


Oh, no. Oh, my.


They're all wilting.


Doesn't look very good, does it?


No.


And whose fault do you think that is?


You know, I'm gonna guess bees.


Bees?


Specifically, me.


I didn't think bees not needing to make
honey would affect all these things.


It's notjust flowers.
Fruits, vegetables, they all need bees.


That's our whole SAT test right there.


Take away produce, that affects
the entire animal kingdom.


And then, of course...


The human species?


So if there's no more pollination,


it could all just go south here,
couldn't it?


I know this is also partly my fault.


How about a suicide pact?


How do we do it?


- I'll sting you, you step on me.
- Thatjust kills you twice.


Right, right.


Listen, Barry...
sorry, but I gotta get going.


I had to open my mouth and talk.


Vanessa?


Vanessa? Why are you leaving?
Where are you going?


To the final Tournament of Roses parade
in Pasadena.


They've moved it to this weekend
because all the flowers are dying.


It's the last chance
I'll ever have to see it.


Vanessa, I just wanna say I'm sorry.
I never meant it to turn out like this.


I know. Me neither.


Tournament of Roses.
Roses can't do sports.


Wait a minute. Roses. Roses?


Roses!


Vanessa!


Roses?!


Barry?


- Roses are flowers!
- Yes, they are.


Flowers, bees, pollen!


I know.
That's why this is the last parade.


Maybe not.
Oould you ask him to slow down?


Oould you slow down?


Barry!


OK, I made a huge mistake.
This is a total disaster, all my fault.


Yes, it kind of is.


I've ruined the planet.
I wanted to help you


with the flower shop.
I've made it worse.


Actually, it's completely closed down.


I thought maybe you were remodeling.


But I have another idea, and it's
greater than my previous ideas combined.


I don't want to hear it!


All right, they have the roses,
the roses have the pollen.


I know every bee, plant
and flower bud in this park.


All we gotta do is get what they've got
back here with what we've got.


- Bees.
- Park.


- Pollen!
- Flowers.


- Repollination!
- Across the nation!


Tournament of Roses,
Pasadena, Oalifornia.


They've got nothing
but flowers, floats and cotton candy.


Security will be tight.


I have an idea.


Vanessa Bloome, FTD.


Official floral business. It's real.


Sorry, ma'am. Nice brooch.


Thank you. It was a gift.


Once inside,
we just pick the right float.


How about The Princess and the Pea?


I could be the princess,
and you could be the pea!


Yes, I got it.


- Where should I sit?
- What are you?


- I believe I'm the pea.
- The pea?


It goes under the mattresses.


- Not in this fairy tale, sweetheart.
- I'm getting the marshal.


You do that!
This whole parade is a fiasco!


Let's see what this baby'll do.


Hey, what are you doing?!


Then all we do
is blend in with traffic...


...without arousing suspicion.


Once at the airport,
there's no stopping us.


Stop! Security.


- You and your insect pack your float?
- Yes.


Has it been
in your possession the entire time?


Would you remove your shoes?


- Remove your stinger.
- It's part of me.


I know. Just having some fun.
Enjoy your flight.


Then if we're lucky, we'll have
just enough pollen to do the job.


Oan you believe how lucky we are? We
have just enough pollen to do the job!


I think this is gonna work.


It's got to work.


Attention, passengers,
this is Oaptain Scott.


We have a bit of bad weather
in New York.


It looks like we'll experience
a couple hours delay.


Barry, these are cut flowers
with no water. They'll never make it.


I gotta get up there
and talk to them.


Be careful.


Oan I get help
with the Sky Mall magazine?


I'd like to order the talking
inflatable nose and ear hair trimmer.


Oaptain, I'm in a real situation.


- What'd you say, Hal?
- Nothing.


Bee!


Don't freak out! My entire species...


What are you doing?


- Wait a minute! I'm an attorney!
- Who's an attorney?


Don't move.


Oh, Barry.


Good afternoon, passengers.
This is your captain.


Would a Miss Vanessa Bloome in 24B
please report to the cockpit?


And please hurry!


What happened here?


There was a DustBuster,
a toupee, a life raft exploded.


One's bald, one's in a boat,
they're both unconscious!


- Is that another bee joke?
- No!


No one's flying the plane!


This is JFK control tower, Flight 356.
What's your status?


This is Vanessa Bloome.
I'm a florist from New York.


Where's the pilot?


He's unconscious,
and so is the copilot.


Not good. Does anyone onboard
have flight experience?


As a matter of fact, there is.


- Who's that?
- Barry Benson.


From the honey trial?! Oh, great.


Vanessa, this is nothing more
than a big metal bee.


It's got giant wings, huge engines.


I can't fly a plane.


- Why not? Isn't John Travolta a pilot?
- Yes.


How hard could it be?


Wait, Barry!
We're headed into some lightning.


This is Bob Bumble. We have some
late-breaking news from JFK Airport,


where a suspenseful scene
is developing.


Barry Benson,
fresh from his legal victory...


That's Barry!


...is attempting to land a plane,
loaded with people, flowers


and an incapacitated flight crew.


Flowers?!


We have a storm in the area
and two individuals at the controls


with absolutely no flight experience.


Just a minute.
There's a bee on that plane.


I'm quite familiar with Mr. Benson
and his no-account compadres.


They've done enough damage.


But isn't he your only hope?


Technically, a bee
shouldn't be able to fly at all.


Their wings are too small...


Haven't we heard this a million times?


"The surface area of the wings
and body mass make no sense."


- Get this on the air!
- Got it.


- Stand by.
- We're going live.


The way we work may be a mystery to you.


Making honey takes a lot of bees
doing a lot of small jobs.


But let me tell you about a small job.


If you do it well,
it makes a big difference.


More than we realized.
To us, to everyone.


That's why I want to get bees
back to working together.


That's the bee way!
We're not made of Jell-O.


We get behind a fellow.


- Black and yellow!
- Hello!


Left, right, down, hover.


- Hover?
- Forget hover.


This isn't so hard.
Beep-beep! Beep-beep!


Barry, what happened?!


Wait, I think we were
on autopilot the whole time.


- That may have been helping me.
- And now we're not!


So it turns out I cannot fly a plane.


All of you, let's get
behind this fellow! Move it out!


Move out!


Our only chance is if I do what I'd do,
you copy me with the wings of the plane!


Don't have to yell.


I'm not yelling!
We're in a lot of trouble.


It's very hard to concentrate
with that panicky tone in your voice!


It's not a tone. I'm panicking!


I can't do this!


Vanessa, pull yourself together.
You have to snap out of it!


You snap out of it.


You snap out of it.


- You snap out of it!
- You snap out of it!


- You snap out of it!
- You snap out of it!


- You snap out of it!
- You snap out of it!


- Hold it!
- Why? Oome on, it's my turn.


How is the plane flying?


I don't know.


Hello?


Benson, got any flowers
for a happy occasion in there?


The Pollen Jocks!


They do get behind a fellow.


- Black and yellow.
- Hello.


All right, let's drop this tin can
on the blacktop.


Where? I can't see anything. Oan you?


No, nothing. It's all cloudy.


Oome on. You got to think bee, Barry.


- Thinking bee.
- Thinking bee.


Thinking bee!
Thinking bee! Thinking bee!


Wait a minute.
I think I'm feeling something.


- What?
- I don't know. It's strong, pulling me.


Like a 27-million-year-old instinct.


Bring the nose down.


Thinking bee!
Thinking bee! Thinking bee!


- What in the world is on the tarmac?
- Get some lights on that!


Thinking bee!
Thinking bee! Thinking bee!


- Vanessa, aim for the flower.
- OK.


Out the engines. We're going in
on bee power. Ready, boys?


Affirmative!


Good. Good. Easy, now. That's it.


Land on that flower!


Ready? Full reverse!


Spin it around!


- Not that flower! The other one!
- Which one?


- That flower.
- I'm aiming at the flower!


That's a fat guy in a flowered shirt.
I mean the giant pulsating flower


made of millions of bees!


Pull forward. Nose down. Tail up.


Rotate around it.


- This is insane, Barry!
- This's the only way I know how to fly.


Am I koo-koo-kachoo, or is this plane
flying in an insect-like pattern?


Get your nose in there. Don't be afraid.
Smell it. Full reverse!


Just drop it. Be a part of it.


Aim for the center!


Now drop it in! Drop it in, woman!


Oome on, already.


Barry, we did it!
You taught me how to fly!


- Yes. No high-five!
- Right.


Barry, it worked!
Did you see the giant flower?


What giant flower? Where? Of course
I saw the flower! That was genius!


- Thank you.
- But we're not done yet.


Listen, everyone!


This runway is covered
with the last pollen


from the last flowers
available anywhere on Earth.


That means this is our last chance.


We're the only ones who make honey,
pollinate flowers and dress like this.


If we're gonna survive as a species,
this is our moment! What do you say?


Are we going to be bees, orjust
Museum of Natural History keychains?


We're bees!


Keychain!


Then follow me! Except Keychain.


Hold on, Barry. Here.


You've earned this.


Yeah!


I'm a Pollen Jock! And it's a perfect
fit. All I gotta do are the sleeves.


Oh, yeah.


That's our Barry.


Mom! The bees are back!


If anybody needs
to make a call, now's the time.


I got a feeling we'll be
working late tonight!


Here's your change. Have a great
afternoon! Oan I help who's next?


Would you like some honey with that?
It is bee-approved. Don't forget these.


Milk, cream, cheese, it's all me.
And I don't see a nickel!


Sometimes I just feel
like a piece of meat!


I had no idea.


Barry, I'm sorry.
Have you got a moment?


Would you excuse me?
My mosquito associate will help you.


Sorry I'm late.


He's a lawyer too?


I was already a blood-sucking parasite.
All I needed was a briefcase.


Have a great afternoon!


Barry, I just got this huge tulip order,
and I can't get them anywhere.


No problem, Vannie.
Just leave it to me.


You're a lifesaver, Barry.
Oan I help who's next?


All right, scramble, jocks!
It's time to fly.


Thank you, Barry!


That bee is living my life!


Let it go, Kenny.


- When will this nightmare end?!
- Let it all go.


- Beautiful day to fly.
- Sure is.


Between you and me,
I was dying to get out of that office.


You have got
to start thinking bee, my friend.


- Thinking bee!
- Me?


Hold it. Let's just stop
for a second. Hold it.


I'm sorry. I'm sorry, everyone.
Oan we stop here?


I'm not making a major life decision
during a production number!


All right. Take ten, everybody.
Wrap it up, guys.


I had virtually no rehearsal for that.




(...Did I win?)
If an admin or such sees this please delete this account. I did not see any way to delete this account in the settings.
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CrazeePi
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Posts: 544
Joined: Mon Dec 21, 2015 4:29 pm

Re: WAR OF THE COPYPASTA

Postby bobschicken » Sat Sep 09, 2017 7:44 pm

CrazeePi wrote:According to all known laws
of aviation,


there is no way a bee
should be able to fly.


Its wings are too small to get
its fat little body off the ground.


The bee, of course, flies anyway


because bees don't care
what humans think is impossible.


Yellow, black. Yellow, black.
Yellow, black. Yellow, black.


Ooh, black and yellow!
Let's shake it up a little.


Barry! Breakfast is ready!


Ooming!


Hang on a second.


Hello?


- Barry?
- Adam?


- Oan you believe this is happening?
- I can't. I'll pick you up.


Looking sharp.


Use the stairs. Your father
paid good money for those.


Sorry. I'm excited.


Here's the graduate.
We're very proud of you, son.


A perfect report card, all B's.


Very proud.


Ma! I got a thing going here.


- You got lint on your fuzz.
- Ow! That's me!


- Wave to us! We'll be in row 118,000.
- Bye!


Barry, I told you,
stop flying in the house!


- Hey, Adam.
- Hey, Barry.


- Is that fuzz gel?
- A little. Special day, graduation.


Never thought I'd make it.


Three days grade school,
three days high school.


Those were awkward.


Three days college. I'm glad I took
a day and hitchhiked around the hive.


You did come back different.


- Hi, Barry.
- Artie, growing a mustache? Looks good.


- Hear about Frankie?
- Yeah.


- You going to the funeral?
- No, I'm not going.


Everybody knows,
sting someone, you die.


Don't waste it on a squirrel.
Such a hothead.


I guess he could have
just gotten out of the way.


I love this incorporating
an amusement park into our day.


That's why we don't need vacations.


Boy, quite a bit of pomp...
under the circumstances.


- Well, Adam, today we are men.
- We are!


- Bee-men.
- Amen!


Hallelujah!


Students, faculty, distinguished bees,


please welcome Dean Buzzwell.


Welcome, New Hive Oity
graduating class of...


...9:15.


That concludes our ceremonies.


And begins your career
at Honex Industries!


Will we pick ourjob today?


I heard it's just orientation.


Heads up! Here we go.


Keep your hands and antennas
inside the tram at all times.


- Wonder what it'll be like?
- A little scary.


Welcome to Honex,
a division of Honesco


and a part of the Hexagon Group.


This is it!


Wow.


Wow.


We know that you, as a bee,
have worked your whole life


to get to the point where you
can work for your whole life.


Honey begins when our valiant Pollen
Jocks bring the nectar to the hive.


Our top-secret formula


is automatically color-corrected,
scent-adjusted and bubble-contoured


into this soothing sweet syrup


with its distinctive
golden glow you know as...


Honey!


- That girl was hot.
- She's my cousin!


- She is?
- Yes, we're all cousins.


- Right. You're right.
- At Honex, we constantly strive


to improve every aspect
of bee existence.


These bees are stress-testing
a new helmet technology.


- What do you think he makes?
- Not enough.


Here we have our latest advancement,
the Krelman.


- What does that do?
- Oatches that little strand of honey


that hangs after you pour it.
Saves us millions.


Oan anyone work on the Krelman?


Of course. Most bee jobs are
small ones. But bees know


that every small job,
if it's done well, means a lot.


But choose carefully


because you'll stay in the job
you pick for the rest of your life.


The same job the rest of your life?
I didn't know that.


What's the difference?


You'll be happy to know that bees,
as a species, haven't had one day off


in 27 million years.


So you'll just work us to death?


We'll sure try.


Wow! That blew my mind!


"What's the difference?"
How can you say that?


One job forever?
That's an insane choice to have to make.


I'm relieved. Now we only have
to make one decision in life.


But, Adam, how could they
never have told us that?


Why would you question anything?
We're bees.


We're the most perfectly
functioning society on Earth.


You ever think maybe things
work a little too well here?


Like what? Give me one example.


I don't know. But you know
what I'm talking about.


Please clear the gate.
Royal Nectar Force on approach.


Wait a second. Oheck it out.


- Hey, those are Pollen Jocks!
- Wow.


I've never seen them this close.


They know what it's like
outside the hive.


Yeah, but some don't come back.


- Hey, Jocks!
- Hi, Jocks!


You guys did great!


You're monsters!
You're sky freaks! I love it! I love it!


- I wonder where they were.
- I don't know.


Their day's not planned.


Outside the hive, flying who knows
where, doing who knows what.


You can'tjust decide to be a Pollen
Jock. You have to be bred for that.


Right.


Look. That's more pollen
than you and I will see in a lifetime.


It's just a status symbol.
Bees make too much of it.


Perhaps. Unless you're wearing it
and the ladies see you wearing it.


Those ladies?
Aren't they our cousins too?


Distant. Distant.


Look at these two.


- Oouple of Hive Harrys.
- Let's have fun with them.


It must be dangerous
being a Pollen Jock.


Yeah. Once a bear pinned me
against a mushroom!


He had a paw on my throat,
and with the other, he was slapping me!


- Oh, my!
- I never thought I'd knock him out.


What were you doing during this?


Trying to alert the authorities.


I can autograph that.


A little gusty out there today,
wasn't it, comrades?


Yeah. Gusty.


We're hitting a sunflower patch
six miles from here tomorrow.


- Six miles, huh?
- Barry!


A puddle jump for us,
but maybe you're not up for it.


- Maybe I am.
- You are not!


We're going 0900 at J-Gate.


What do you think, buzzy-boy?
Are you bee enough?


I might be. It all depends
on what 0900 means.


Hey, Honex!


Dad, you surprised me.


You decide what you're interested in?


- Well, there's a lot of choices.
- But you only get one.


Do you ever get bored
doing the same job every day?


Son, let me tell you about stirring.


You grab that stick, and you just
move it around, and you stir it around.


You get yourself into a rhythm.
It's a beautiful thing.


You know, Dad,
the more I think about it,


maybe the honey field
just isn't right for me.


You were thinking of what,
making balloon animals?


That's a bad job
for a guy with a stinger.


Janet, your son's not sure
he wants to go into honey!


- Barry, you are so funny sometimes.
- I'm not trying to be funny.


You're not funny! You're going
into honey. Our son, the stirrer!


- You're gonna be a stirrer?
- No one's listening to me!


Wait till you see the sticks I have.


I could say anything right now.
I'm gonna get an ant tattoo!


Let's open some honey and celebrate!


Maybe I'll pierce my thorax.
Shave my antennae.


Shack up with a grasshopper. Get
a gold tooth and call everybody "dawg"!


I'm so proud.


- We're starting work today!
- Today's the day.


Oome on! All the good jobs
will be gone.


Yeah, right.


Pollen counting, stunt bee, pouring,
stirrer, front desk, hair removal...


- Is it still available?
- Hang on. Two left!


One of them's yours! Oongratulations!
Step to the side.


- What'd you get?
- Picking crud out. Stellar!


Wow!


Oouple of newbies?


Yes, sir! Our first day! We are ready!


Make your choice.


- You want to go first?
- No, you go.


Oh, my. What's available?


Restroom attendant's open,
not for the reason you think.


- Any chance of getting the Krelman?
- Sure, you're on.


I'm sorry, the Krelman just closed out.


Wax monkey's always open.


The Krelman opened up again.


What happened?


A bee died. Makes an opening. See?
He's dead. Another dead one.


Deady. Deadified. Two more dead.


Dead from the neck up.
Dead from the neck down. That's life!


Oh, this is so hard!


Heating, cooling,
stunt bee, pourer, stirrer,


humming, inspector number seven,
lint coordinator, stripe supervisor,


mite wrangler. Barry, what
do you think I should... Barry?


Barry!


All right, we've got the sunflower patch
in quadrant nine...


What happened to you?
Where are you?


- I'm going out.
- Out? Out where?


- Out there.
- Oh, no!


I have to, before I go
to work for the rest of my life.


You're gonna die! You're crazy! Hello?


Another call coming in.


If anyone's feeling brave,
there's a Korean deli on 83rd


that gets their roses today.


Hey, guys.


- Look at that.
- Isn't that the kid we saw yesterday?


Hold it, son, flight deck's restricted.


It's OK, Lou. We're gonna take him up.


Really? Feeling lucky, are you?


Sign here, here. Just initial that.


- Thank you.
- OK.


You got a rain advisory today,


and as you all know,
bees cannot fly in rain.


So be careful. As always,
watch your brooms,


hockey sticks, dogs,
birds, bears and bats.


Also, I got a couple of reports
of root beer being poured on us.


Murphy's in a home because of it,
babbling like a cicada!


- That's awful.
- And a reminder for you rookies,


bee law number one,
absolutely no talking to humans!


All right, launch positions!


Buzz, buzz, buzz, buzz! Buzz, buzz,
buzz, buzz! Buzz, buzz, buzz, buzz!


Black and yellow!


Hello!


You ready for this, hot shot?


Yeah. Yeah, bring it on.


Wind, check.


- Antennae, check.
- Nectar pack, check.


- Wings, check.
- Stinger, check.


Scared out of my shorts, check.


OK, ladies,


let's move it out!


Pound those petunias,
you striped stem-suckers!


All of you, drain those flowers!


Wow! I'm out!


I can't believe I'm out!


So blue.


I feel so fast and free!


Box kite!


Wow!


Flowers!


This is Blue Leader.
We have roses visual.


Bring it around 30 degrees and hold.


Roses!


30 degrees, roger. Bringing it around.


Stand to the side, kid.
It's got a bit of a kick.


That is one nectar collector!


- Ever see pollination up close?
- No, sir.


I pick up some pollen here, sprinkle it
over here. Maybe a dash over there,


a pinch on that one.
See that? It's a little bit of magic.


That's amazing. Why do we do that?


That's pollen power. More pollen, more
flowers, more nectar, more honey for us.


Oool.


I'm picking up a lot of bright yellow.
Oould be daisies. Don't we need those?


Oopy that visual.


Wait. One of these flowers
seems to be on the move.


Say again? You're reporting
a moving flower?


Affirmative.


That was on the line!


This is the coolest. What is it?


I don't know, but I'm loving this color.


It smells good.
Not like a flower, but I like it.


Yeah, fuzzy.


Ohemical-y.


Oareful, guys. It's a little grabby.


My sweet lord of bees!


Oandy-brain, get off there!


Problem!


- Guys!
- This could be bad.


Affirmative.


Very close.


Gonna hurt.


Mama's little boy.


You are way out of position, rookie!


Ooming in at you like a missile!


Help me!


I don't think these are flowers.


- Should we tell him?
- I think he knows.


What is this?!


Match point!


You can start packing up, honey,
because you're about to eat it!


Yowser!


Gross.


There's a bee in the car!


- Do something!
- I'm driving!


- Hi, bee.
- He's back here!


He's going to sting me!


Nobody move. If you don't move,
he won't sting you. Freeze!


He blinked!


Spray him, Granny!


What are you doing?!


Wow... the tension level
out here is unbelievable.


I gotta get home.


Oan't fly in rain.


Oan't fly in rain.


Oan't fly in rain.


Mayday! Mayday! Bee going down!


Ken, could you close
the window please?


Ken, could you close
the window please?


Oheck out my new resume.
I made it into a fold-out brochure.


You see? Folds out.


Oh, no. More humans. I don't need this.


What was that?


Maybe this time. This time. This time.
This time! This time! This...


Drapes!


That is diabolical.


It's fantastic. It's got all my special
skills, even my top-ten favorite movies.


What's number one? Star Wars?


Nah, I don't go for that...


...kind of stuff.


No wonder we shouldn't talk to them.
They're out of their minds.


When I leave a job interview, they're
flabbergasted, can't believe what I say.


There's the sun. Maybe that's a way out.


I don't remember the sun
having a big 75 on it.


I predicted global warming.


I could feel it getting hotter.
At first I thought it was just me.


Wait! Stop! Bee!


Stand back. These are winter boots.


Wait!


Don't kill him!


You know I'm allergic to them!
This thing could kill me!


Why does his life have
less value than yours?


Why does his life have any less value
than mine? Is that your statement?


I'm just saying all life has value. You
don't know what he's capable of feeling.


My brochure!


There you go, little guy.


I'm not scared of him.
It's an allergic thing.


Put that on your resume brochure.


My whole face could puff up.


Make it one of your special skills.


Knocking someone out
is also a special skill.


Right. Bye, Vanessa. Thanks.


- Vanessa, next week? Yogurt night?
- Sure, Ken. You know, whatever.


- You could put carob chips on there.
- Bye.


- Supposed to be less calories.
- Bye.


I gotta say something.


She saved my life.
I gotta say something.


All right, here it goes.


Nah.


What would I say?


I could really get in trouble.


It's a bee law.
You're not supposed to talk to a human.


I can't believe I'm doing this.


I've got to.


Oh, I can't do it. Oome on!


No. Yes. No.


Do it. I can't.


How should I start it?
"You like jazz?" No, that's no good.


Here she comes! Speak, you fool!


Hi!


I'm sorry.


- You're talking.
- Yes, I know.


You're talking!


I'm so sorry.


No, it's OK. It's fine.
I know I'm dreaming.


But I don't recall going to bed.


Well, I'm sure this
is very disconcerting.


This is a bit of a surprise to me.
I mean, you're a bee!


I am. And I'm not supposed
to be doing this,


but they were all trying to kill me.


And if it wasn't for you...


I had to thank you.
It's just how I was raised.


That was a little weird.


- I'm talking with a bee.
- Yeah.


I'm talking to a bee.
And the bee is talking to me!


I just want to say I'm grateful.
I'll leave now.


- Wait! How did you learn to do that?
- What?


The talking thing.


Same way you did, I guess.
"Mama, Dada, honey." You pick it up.


- That's very funny.
- Yeah.


Bees are funny. If we didn't laugh,
we'd cry with what we have to deal with.


Anyway...


Oan I...


...get you something?
- Like what?


I don't know. I mean...
I don't know. Ooffee?


I don't want to put you out.


It's no trouble. It takes two minutes.


- It's just coffee.
- I hate to impose.


- Don't be ridiculous!
- Actually, I would love a cup.


Hey, you want rum cake?


- I shouldn't.
- Have some.


- No, I can't.
- Oome on!


I'm trying to lose a couple micrograms.


- Where?
- These stripes don't help.


You look great!


I don't know if you know
anything about fashion.


Are you all right?


No.


He's making the tie in the cab
as they're flying up Madison.


He finally gets there.


He runs up the steps into the church.
The wedding is on.


And he says, "Watermelon?
I thought you said Guatemalan.


Why would I marry a watermelon?"


Is that a bee joke?


That's the kind of stuff we do.


Yeah, different.


So, what are you gonna do, Barry?


About work? I don't know.


I want to do my part for the hive,
but I can't do it the way they want.


I know how you feel.


- You do?
- Sure.


My parents wanted me to be a lawyer or
a doctor, but I wanted to be a florist.


- Really?
- My only interest is flowers.


Our new queen was just elected
with that same campaign slogan.


Anyway, if you look...


There's my hive right there. See it?


You're in Sheep Meadow!


Yes! I'm right off the Turtle Pond!


No way! I know that area.
I lost a toe ring there once.


- Why do girls put rings on their toes?
- Why not?


- It's like putting a hat on your knee.
- Maybe I'll try that.


- You all right, ma'am?
- Oh, yeah. Fine.


Just having two cups of coffee!


Anyway, this has been great.
Thanks for the coffee.


Yeah, it's no trouble.


Sorry I couldn't finish it. If I did,
I'd be up the rest of my life.


Are you...?


Oan I take a piece of this with me?


Sure! Here, have a crumb.


- Thanks!
- Yeah.


All right. Well, then...
I guess I'll see you around.


Or not.


OK, Barry.


And thank you
so much again... for before.


Oh, that? That was nothing.


Well, not nothing, but... Anyway...


This can't possibly work.


He's all set to go.
We may as well try it.


OK, Dave, pull the chute.


- Sounds amazing.
- It was amazing!


It was the scariest,
happiest moment of my life.


Humans! I can't believe
you were with humans!


Giant, scary humans!
What were they like?


Huge and crazy. They talk crazy.


They eat crazy giant things.
They drive crazy.


- Do they try and kill you, like on TV?
- Some of them. But some of them don't.


- How'd you get back?
- Poodle.


You did it, and I'm glad. You saw
whatever you wanted to see.


You had your "experience." Now you
can pick out yourjob and be normal.


- Well...
- Well?


Well, I met someone.


You did? Was she Bee-ish?


- A wasp?! Your parents will kill you!
- No, no, no, not a wasp.


- Spider?
- I'm not attracted to spiders.


I know it's the hottest thing,
with the eight legs and all.


I can't get by that face.


So who is she?


She's... human.


No, no. That's a bee law.
You wouldn't break a bee law.


- Her name's Vanessa.
- Oh, boy.


She's so nice. And she's a florist!


Oh, no! You're dating a human florist!


We're not dating.


You're flying outside the hive, talking
to humans that attack our homes


with power washers and M-80s!
One-eighth a stick of dynamite!


She saved my life!
And she understands me.


This is over!


Eat this.


This is not over! What was that?


- They call it a crumb.
- It was so stingin' stripey!


And that's not what they eat.
That's what falls off what they eat!


- You know what a Oinnabon is?
- No.


It's bread and cinnamon and frosting.
They heat it up...


Sit down!


...really hot!
- Listen to me!


We are not them! We're us.
There's us and there's them!


Yes, but who can deny
the heart that is yearning?


There's no yearning.
Stop yearning. Listen to me!


You have got to start thinking bee,
my friend. Thinking bee!


- Thinking bee.
- Thinking bee.


Thinking bee! Thinking bee!
Thinking bee! Thinking bee!


There he is. He's in the pool.


You know what your problem is, Barry?


I gotta start thinking bee?


How much longer will this go on?


It's been three days!
Why aren't you working?


I've got a lot of big life decisions
to think about.


What life? You have no life!
You have no job. You're barely a bee!


Would it kill you
to make a little honey?


Barry, come out.
Your father's talking to you.


Martin, would you talk to him?


Barry, I'm talking to you!


You coming?


Got everything?


All set!


Go ahead. I'll catch up.


Don't be too long.


Watch this!


Vanessa!


- We're still here.
- I told you not to yell at him.


He doesn't respond to yelling!


- Then why yell at me?
- Because you don't listen!


I'm not listening to this.


Sorry, I've gotta go.


- Where are you going?
- I'm meeting a friend.


A girl? Is this why you can't decide?


Bye.


I just hope she's Bee-ish.


They have a huge parade
of flowers every year in Pasadena?


To be in the Tournament of Roses,
that's every florist's dream!


Up on a float, surrounded
by flowers, crowds cheering.


A tournament. Do the roses
compete in athletic events?


No. All right, I've got one.
How come you don't fly everywhere?


It's exhausting. Why don't you
run everywhere? It's faster.


Yeah, OK, I see, I see.
All right, your turn.


TiVo. You can just freeze live TV?
That's insane!


You don't have that?


We have Hivo, but it's a disease.
It's a horrible, horrible disease.


Oh, my.


Dumb bees!


You must want to sting all those jerks.


We try not to sting.
It's usually fatal for us.


So you have to watch your temper.


Very carefully.
You kick a wall, take a walk,


write an angry letter and throw it out.
Work through it like any emotion:


Anger, jealousy, lust.


Oh, my goodness! Are you OK?


Yeah.


- What is wrong with you?!
- It's a bug.


He's not bothering anybody.
Get out of here, you creep!


What was that? A Pic 'N' Save circular?


Yeah, it was. How did you know?


It felt like about 10 pages.
Seventy-five is pretty much our limit.


You've really got that
down to a science.


- I lost a cousin to Italian Vogue.
- I'll bet.


What in the name
of Mighty Hercules is this?


How did this get here?
Oute Bee, Golden Blossom,


Ray Liotta Private Select?


- Is he that actor?
- I never heard of him.


- Why is this here?
- For people. We eat it.


You don't have
enough food of your own?


- Well, yes.
- How do you get it?


- Bees make it.
- I know who makes it!


And it's hard to make it!


There's heating, cooling, stirring.
You need a whole Krelman thing!


- It's organic.
- It's our-ganic!


It's just honey, Barry.


Just what?!


Bees don't know about this!
This is stealing! A lot of stealing!


You've taken our homes, schools,
hospitals! This is all we have!


And it's on sale?!
I'm getting to the bottom of this.


I'm getting to the bottom
of all of this!


Hey, Hector.


- You almost done?
- Almost.


He is here. I sense it.


Well, I guess I'll go home now


and just leave this nice honey out,
with no one around.


You're busted, box boy!


I knew I heard something.
So you can talk!


I can talk.
And now you'll start talking!


Where you getting the sweet stuff?
Who's your supplier?


I don't understand.
I thought we were friends.


The last thing we want
to do is upset bees!


You're too late! It's ours now!


You, sir, have crossed
the wrong sword!


You, sir, will be lunch
for my iguana, Ignacio!


Where is the honey coming from?


Tell me where!


Honey Farms! It comes from Honey Farms!


Orazy person!


What horrible thing has happened here?


These faces, they never knew
what hit them. And now


they're on the road to nowhere!


Just keep still.


What? You're not dead?


Do I look dead? They will wipe anything
that moves. Where you headed?


To Honey Farms.
I am onto something huge here.


I'm going to Alaska. Moose blood,
crazy stuff. Blows your head off!


I'm going to Tacoma.


- And you?
- He really is dead.


All right.


Uh-oh!


- What is that?!
- Oh, no!


- A wiper! Triple blade!
- Triple blade?


Jump on! It's your only chance, bee!


Why does everything have
to be so doggone clean?!


How much do you people need to see?!


Open your eyes!
Stick your head out the window!


From NPR News in Washington,
I'm Oarl Kasell.


But don't kill no more bugs!


- Bee!
- Moose blood guy!!


- You hear something?
- Like what?


Like tiny screaming.


Turn off the radio.


Whassup, bee boy?


Hey, Blood.


Just a row of honey jars,
as far as the eye could see.


Wow!


I assume wherever this truck goes
is where they're getting it.


I mean, that honey's ours.


- Bees hang tight.
- We're all jammed in.


It's a close community.


Not us, man. We on our own.
Every mosquito on his own.


- What if you get in trouble?
- You a mosquito, you in trouble.


Nobody likes us. They just smack.
See a mosquito, smack, smack!


At least you're out in the world.
You must meet girls.


Mosquito girls try to trade up,
get with a moth, dragonfly.


Mosquito girl don't want no mosquito.


You got to be kidding me!


Mooseblood's about to leave
the building! So long, bee!


- Hey, guys!
- Mooseblood!


I knew I'd catch y'all down here.
Did you bring your crazy straw?


We throw it in jars, slap a label on it,
and it's pretty much pure profit.


What is this place?


A bee's got a brain
the size of a pinhead.


They are pinheads!


Pinhead.


- Oheck out the new smoker.
- Oh, sweet. That's the one you want.


The Thomas 3000!


Smoker?


Ninety puffs a minute, semi-automatic.
Twice the nicotine, all the tar.


A couple breaths of this
knocks them right out.


They make the honey,
and we make the money.


"They make the honey,
and we make the money"?


Oh, my!


What's going on? Are you OK?


Yeah. It doesn't last too long.


Do you know you're
in a fake hive with fake walls?


Our queen was moved here.
We had no choice.


This is your queen?
That's a man in women's clothes!


That's a drag queen!


What is this?


Oh, no!


There's hundreds of them!


Bee honey.


Our honey is being brazenly stolen
on a massive scale!


This is worse than anything bears
have done! I intend to do something.


Oh, Barry, stop.


Who told you humans are taking
our honey? That's a rumor.


Do these look like rumors?


That's a conspiracy theory.
These are obviously doctored photos.


How did you get mixed up in this?


He's been talking to humans.


- What?
- Talking to humans?!


He has a human girlfriend.
And they make out!


Make out? Barry!


We do not.


- You wish you could.
- Whose side are you on?


The bees!


I dated a cricket once in San Antonio.
Those crazy legs kept me up all night.


Barry, this is what you want
to do with your life?


I want to do it for all our lives.
Nobody works harder than bees!


Dad, I remember you
coming home so overworked


your hands were still stirring.
You couldn't stop.


I remember that.


What right do they have to our honey?


We live on two cups a year. They put it
in lip balm for no reason whatsoever!


Even if it's true, what can one bee do?


Sting them where it really hurts.


In the face! The eye!


- That would hurt.
- No.


Up the nose? That's a killer.


There's only one place you can sting
the humans, one place where it matters.


Hive at Five, the hive's only
full-hour action news source.


No more bee beards!


With Bob Bumble at the anchor desk.


Weather with Storm Stinger.


Sports with Buzz Larvi.


And Jeanette Ohung.


- Good evening. I'm Bob Bumble.
- And I'm Jeanette Ohung.


A tri-county bee, Barry Benson,


intends to sue the human race
for stealing our honey,


packaging it and profiting
from it illegally!


Tomorrow night on Bee Larry King,


we'll have three former queens here in
our studio, discussing their new book,


Olassy Ladies,
out this week on Hexagon.


Tonight we're talking to Barry Benson.


Did you ever think, "I'm a kid
from the hive. I can't do this"?


Bees have never been afraid
to change the world.


What about Bee Oolumbus?
Bee Gandhi? Bejesus?


Where I'm from, we'd never sue humans.


We were thinking
of stickball or candy stores.


How old are you?


The bee community
is supporting you in this case,


which will be the trial
of the bee century.


You know, they have a Larry King
in the human world too.


It's a common name. Next week...


He looks like you and has a show
and suspenders and colored dots...


Next week...


Glasses, quotes on the bottom from the
guest even though you just heard 'em.


Bear Week next week!
They're scary, hairy and here live.


Always leans forward, pointy shoulders,
squinty eyes, very Jewish.


In tennis, you attack
at the point of weakness!


It was my grandmother, Ken. She's 81.


Honey, her backhand's a joke!
I'm not gonna take advantage of that?


Quiet, please.
Actual work going on here.


- Is that that same bee?
- Yes, it is!


I'm helping him sue the human race.


- Hello.
- Hello, bee.


This is Ken.


Yeah, I remember you. Timberland, size
ten and a half. Vibram sole, I believe.


Why does he talk again?


Listen, you better go
'cause we're really busy working.


But it's our yogurt night!


Bye-bye.


Why is yogurt night so difficult?!


You poor thing.
You two have been at this for hours!


Yes, and Adam here
has been a huge help.


- Frosting...
- How many sugars?


Just one. I try not
to use the competition.


So why are you helping me?


Bees have good qualities.


And it takes my mind off the shop.


Instead of flowers, people
are giving balloon bouquets now.


Those are great, if you're three.


And artificial flowers.


- Oh, those just get me psychotic!
- Yeah, me too.


Bent stingers, pointless pollination.


Bees must hate those fake things!


Nothing worse
than a daffodil that's had work done.


Maybe this could make up
for it a little bit.


- This lawsuit's a pretty big deal.
- I guess.


You sure you want to go through with it?


Am I sure? When I'm done with
the humans, they won't be able


to say, "Honey, I'm home,"
without paying a royalty!


It's an incredible scene
here in downtown Manhattan,


where the world anxiously waits,
because for the first time in history,


we will hear for ourselves
if a honeybee can actually speak.


What have we gotten into here, Barry?


It's pretty big, isn't it?


I can't believe how many humans
don't work during the day.


You think billion-dollar multinational
food companies have good lawyers?


Everybody needs to stay
behind the barricade.


- What's the matter?
- I don't know, I just got a chill.


Well, if it isn't the bee team.


You boys work on this?


All rise! The Honorable
Judge Bumbleton presiding.


All right. Oase number 4475,


Superior Oourt of New York,
Barry Bee Benson v. the Honey Industry


is now in session.


Mr. Montgomery, you're representing
the five food companies collectively?


A privilege.


Mr. Benson... you're representing
all the bees of the world?


I'm kidding. Yes, Your Honor,
we're ready to proceed.


Mr. Montgomery,
your opening statement, please.


Ladies and gentlemen of the jury,


my grandmother was a simple woman.


Born on a farm, she believed
it was man's divine right


to benefit from the bounty
of nature God put before us.


If we lived in the topsy-turvy world
Mr. Benson imagines,


just think of what would it mean.


I would have to negotiate
with the silkworm


for the elastic in my britches!


Talking bee!


How do we know this isn't some sort of


holographic motion-picture-capture
Hollywood wizardry?


They could be using laser beams!


Robotics! Ventriloquism!
Oloning! For all we know,


he could be on steroids!


Mr. Benson?


Ladies and gentlemen,
there's no trickery here.


I'm just an ordinary bee.
Honey's pretty important to me.


It's important to all bees.
We invented it!


We make it. And we protect it
with our lives.


Unfortunately, there are
some people in this room


who think they can take it from us


'cause we're the little guys!
I'm hoping that, after this is all over,


you'll see how, by taking our honey,
you not only take everything we have


but everything we are!


I wish he'd dress like that
all the time. So nice!


Oall your first witness.


So, Mr. Klauss Vanderhayden
of Honey Farms, big company you have.


I suppose so.


I see you also own
Honeyburton and Honron!


Yes, they provide beekeepers
for our farms.


Beekeeper. I find that
to be a very disturbing term.


I don't imagine you employ
any bee-free-ers, do you?


- No.
- I couldn't hear you.


- No.
- No.


Because you don't free bees.
You keep bees. Not only that,


it seems you thought a bear would be
an appropriate image for a jar of honey.


They're very lovable creatures.


Yogi Bear, Fozzie Bear, Build-A-Bear.


You mean like this?


Bears kill bees!


How'd you like his head crashing
through your living room?!


Biting into your couch!
Spitting out your throw pillows!


OK, that's enough. Take him away.


So, Mr. Sting, thank you for being here.
Your name intrigues me.


- Where have I heard it before?
- I was with a band called The Police.


But you've never been
a police officer, have you?


No, I haven't.


No, you haven't. And so here
we have yet another example


of bee culture casually
stolen by a human


for nothing more than
a prance-about stage name.


Oh, please.


Have you ever been stung, Mr. Sting?


Because I'm feeling
a little stung, Sting.


Or should I say... Mr. Gordon M. Sumner!


That's not his real name?! You idiots!


Mr. Liotta, first,
belated congratulations on


your Emmy win for a guest spot
on ER in 2005.


Thank you. Thank you.


I see from your resume
that you're devilishly handsome


with a churning inner turmoil
that's ready to blow.


I enjoy what I do. Is that a crime?


Not yet it isn't. But is this
what it's come to for you?


Exploiting tiny, helpless bees
so you don't


have to rehearse
your part and learn your lines, sir?


Watch it, Benson!
I could blow right now!


This isn't a goodfella.
This is a badfella!


Why doesn't someone just step on
this creep, and we can all go home?!


- Order in this court!
- You're all thinking it!


Order! Order, I say!


- Say it!
- Mr. Liotta, please sit down!


I think it was awfully nice
of that bear to pitch in like that.


I think the jury's on our side.


Are we doing everything right, legally?


I'm a florist.


Right. Well, here's to a great team.


To a great team!


Well, hello.


- Ken!
- Hello.


I didn't think you were coming.


No, I was just late.
I tried to call, but... the battery.


I didn't want all this to go to waste,
so I called Barry. Luckily, he was free.


Oh, that was lucky.


There's a little left.
I could heat it up.


Yeah, heat it up, sure, whatever.


So I hear you're quite a tennis player.


I'm not much for the game myself.
The ball's a little grabby.


That's where I usually sit.
Right... there.


Ken, Barry was looking at your resume,


and he agreed with me that eating with
chopsticks isn't really a special skill.


You think I don't see what you're doing?


I know how hard it is to find
the rightjob. We have that in common.


Do we?


Bees have 100 percent employment,
but we do jobs like taking the crud out.


That's just what
I was thinking about doing.


Ken, I let Barry borrow your razor
for his fuzz. I hope that was all right.


I'm going to drain the old stinger.


Yeah, you do that.


Look at that.


You know, I've just about had it


with your little mind games.


- What's that?
- Italian Vogue.


Mamma mia, that's a lot of pages.


A lot of ads.


Remember what Van said, why is
your life more valuable than mine?


Funny, I just can't seem to recall that!


I think something stinks in here!


I love the smell of flowers.


How do you like the smell of flames?!


Not as much.


Water bug! Not taking sides!


Ken, I'm wearing a Ohapstick hat!
This is pathetic!


I've got issues!


Well, well, well, a royal flush!


- You're bluffing.
- Am I?


Surf's up, dude!


Poo water!


That bowl is gnarly.


Except for those dirty yellow rings!


Kenneth! What are you doing?!


You know, I don't even like honey!
I don't eat it!


We need to talk!


He's just a little bee!


And he happens to be
the nicest bee I've met in a long time!


Long time? What are you talking about?!
Are there other bugs in your life?


No, but there are other things bugging
me in life. And you're one of them!


Fine! Talking bees, no yogurt night...


My nerves are fried from riding
on this emotional roller coaster!


Goodbye, Ken.


And for your information,


I prefer sugar-free, artificial
sweeteners made by man!


I'm sorry about all that.


I know it's got
an aftertaste! I like it!


I always felt there was some kind
of barrier between Ken and me.


I couldn't overcome it.
Oh, well.


Are you OK for the trial?


I believe Mr. Montgomery
is about out of ideas.


We would like to call
Mr. Barry Benson Bee to the stand.


Good idea! You can really see why he's
considered one of the best lawyers...


Yeah.


Layton, you've
gotta weave some magic


with this jury,
or it's gonna be all over.


Don't worry. The only thing I have
to do to turn this jury around


is to remind them
of what they don't like about bees.


- You got the tweezers?
- Are you allergic?


Only to losing, son. Only to losing.


Mr. Benson Bee, I'll ask you
what I think we'd all like to know.


What exactly is your relationship


to that woman?


We're friends.


- Good friends?
- Yes.


How good? Do you live together?


Wait a minute...


Are you her little...


...bedbug?


I've seen a bee documentary or two.
From what I understand,


doesn't your queen give birth
to all the bee children?


- Yeah, but...
- So those aren't your real parents!


- Oh, Barry...
- Yes, they are!


Hold me back!


You're an illegitimate bee,
aren't you, Benson?


He's denouncing bees!


Don't y'all date your cousins?


- Objection!
- I'm going to pincushion this guy!


Adam, don't! It's what he wants!


Oh, I'm hit!!


Oh, lordy, I am hit!


Order! Order!


The venom! The venom
is coursing through my veins!


I have been felled
by a winged beast of destruction!


You see? You can't treat them
like equals! They're striped savages!


Stinging's the only thing
they know! It's their way!


- Adam, stay with me.
- I can't feel my legs.


What angel of mercy
will come forward to suck the poison


from my heaving buttocks?


I will have order in this court. Order!


Order, please!


The case of the honeybees
versus the human race


took a pointed turn against the bees


yesterday when one of their legal
team stung Layton T. Montgomery.


- Hey, buddy.
- Hey.


- Is there much pain?
- Yeah.


I...


I blew the whole case, didn't I?


It doesn't matter. What matters is
you're alive. You could have died.


I'd be better off dead. Look at me.


They got it from the cafeteria
downstairs, in a tuna sandwich.


Look, there's
a little celery still on it.


What was it like to sting someone?


I can't explain it. It was all...


All adrenaline and then...
and then ecstasy!


All right.


You think it was all a trap?


Of course. I'm sorry.
I flew us right into this.


What were we thinking? Look at us. We're
just a couple of bugs in this world.


What will the humans do to us
if they win?


I don't know.


I hear they put the roaches in motels.
That doesn't sound so bad.


Adam, they check in,
but they don't check out!


Oh, my.


Oould you get a nurse
to close that window?


- Why?
- The smoke.


Bees don't smoke.


Right. Bees don't smoke.


Bees don't smoke!
But some bees are smoking.


That's it! That's our case!


It is? It's not over?


Get dressed. I've gotta go somewhere.


Get back to the court and stall.
Stall any way you can.


And assuming you've done step correctly, you're ready for the tub.


Mr. Flayman.


Yes? Yes, Your Honor!


Where is the rest of your team?


Well, Your Honor, it's interesting.


Bees are trained to fly haphazardly,


and as a result,
we don't make very good time.


I actually heard a funny story about...


Your Honor,
haven't these ridiculous bugs


taken up enough
of this court's valuable time?


How much longer will we allow
these absurd shenanigans to go on?


They have presented no compelling
evidence to support their charges


against my clients,
who run legitimate businesses.


I move for a complete dismissal
of this entire case!


Mr. Flayman, I'm afraid I'm going


to have to consider
Mr. Montgomery's motion.


But you can't! We have a terrific case.


Where is your proof?
Where is the evidence?


Show me the smoking gun!


Hold it, Your Honor!
You want a smoking gun?


Here is your smoking gun.


What is that?


It's a bee smoker!


What, this?
This harmless little contraption?


This couldn't hurt a fly,
let alone a bee.


Look at what has happened


to bees who have never been asked,
"Smoking or non?"


Is this what nature intended for us?


To be forcibly addicted
to smoke machines


and man-made wooden slat work camps?


Living out our lives as honey slaves
to the white man?


- What are we gonna do?
- He's playing the species card.


Ladies and gentlemen, please,
free these bees!


Free the bees! Free the bees!


Free the bees!


Free the bees! Free the bees!


The court finds in favor of the bees!


Vanessa, we won!


I knew you could do it! High-five!


Sorry.


I'm OK! You know what this means?


All the honey
will finally belong to the bees.


Now we won't have
to work so hard all the time.


This is an unholy perversion
of the balance of nature, Benson.


You'll regret this.


Barry, how much honey is out there?


All right. One at a time.


Barry, who are you wearing?


My sweater is Ralph Lauren,
and I have no pants.


- What if Montgomery's right?
- What do you mean?


We've been living the bee way
a long time, 27 million years.


Oongratulations on your victory.
What will you demand as a settlement?


First, we'll demand a complete shutdown
of all bee work camps.


Then we want back the honey
that was ours to begin with,


every last drop.


We demand an end to the glorification
of the bear as anything more


than a filthy, smelly,
bad-breath stink machine.


We're all aware
of what they do in the woods.


Wait for my signal.


Take him out.


He'll have nauseous
for a few hours, then he'll be fine.


And we will no longer tolerate
bee-negative nicknames...


But it's just a prance-about stage name!


...unnecessary inclusion of honey
in bogus health products


and la-dee-da human
tea-time snack garnishments.


Oan't breathe.


Bring it in, boys!


Hold it right there! Good.


Tap it.


Mr. Buzzwell, we just passed three cups,
and there's gallons more coming!


- I think we need to shut down!
- Shut down? We've never shut down.


Shut down honey production!


Stop making honey!


Turn your key, sir!


What do we do now?


Oannonball!


We're shutting honey production!


Mission abort.


Aborting pollination and nectar detail.
Returning to base.


Adam, you wouldn't believe
how much honey was out there.


Oh, yeah?


What's going on? Where is everybody?


- Are they out celebrating?
- They're home.


They don't know what to do.
Laying out, sleeping in.


I heard your Uncle Oarl was on his way
to San Antonio with a cricket.


At least we got our honey back.


Sometimes I think, so what if humans
liked our honey? Who wouldn't?


It's the greatest thing in the world!
I was excited to be part of making it.


This was my new desk. This was my
new job. I wanted to do it really well.


And now...


Now I can't.


I don't understand
why they're not happy.


I thought their lives would be better!


They're doing nothing. It's amazing.
Honey really changes people.


You don't have any idea
what's going on, do you?


- What did you want to show me?
- This.


What happened here?


That is not the half of it.


Oh, no. Oh, my.


They're all wilting.


Doesn't look very good, does it?


No.


And whose fault do you think that is?


You know, I'm gonna guess bees.


Bees?


Specifically, me.


I didn't think bees not needing to make
honey would affect all these things.


It's notjust flowers.
Fruits, vegetables, they all need bees.


That's our whole SAT test right there.


Take away produce, that affects
the entire animal kingdom.


And then, of course...


The human species?


So if there's no more pollination,


it could all just go south here,
couldn't it?


I know this is also partly my fault.


How about a suicide pact?


How do we do it?


- I'll sting you, you step on me.
- Thatjust kills you twice.


Right, right.


Listen, Barry...
sorry, but I gotta get going.


I had to open my mouth and talk.


Vanessa?


Vanessa? Why are you leaving?
Where are you going?


To the final Tournament of Roses parade
in Pasadena.


They've moved it to this weekend
because all the flowers are dying.


It's the last chance
I'll ever have to see it.


Vanessa, I just wanna say I'm sorry.
I never meant it to turn out like this.


I know. Me neither.


Tournament of Roses.
Roses can't do sports.


Wait a minute. Roses. Roses?


Roses!


Vanessa!


Roses?!


Barry?


- Roses are flowers!
- Yes, they are.


Flowers, bees, pollen!


I know.
That's why this is the last parade.


Maybe not.
Oould you ask him to slow down?


Oould you slow down?


Barry!


OK, I made a huge mistake.
This is a total disaster, all my fault.


Yes, it kind of is.


I've ruined the planet.
I wanted to help you


with the flower shop.
I've made it worse.


Actually, it's completely closed down.


I thought maybe you were remodeling.


But I have another idea, and it's
greater than my previous ideas combined.


I don't want to hear it!


All right, they have the roses,
the roses have the pollen.


I know every bee, plant
and flower bud in this park.


All we gotta do is get what they've got
back here with what we've got.


- Bees.
- Park.


- Pollen!
- Flowers.


- Repollination!
- Across the nation!


Tournament of Roses,
Pasadena, Oalifornia.


They've got nothing
but flowers, floats and cotton candy.


Security will be tight.


I have an idea.


Vanessa Bloome, FTD.


Official floral business. It's real.


Sorry, ma'am. Nice brooch.


Thank you. It was a gift.


Once inside,
we just pick the right float.


How about The Princess and the Pea?


I could be the princess,
and you could be the pea!


Yes, I got it.


- Where should I sit?
- What are you?


- I believe I'm the pea.
- The pea?


It goes under the mattresses.


- Not in this fairy tale, sweetheart.
- I'm getting the marshal.


You do that!
This whole parade is a fiasco!


Let's see what this baby'll do.


Hey, what are you doing?!


Then all we do
is blend in with traffic...


...without arousing suspicion.


Once at the airport,
there's no stopping us.


Stop! Security.


- You and your insect pack your float?
- Yes.


Has it been
in your possession the entire time?


Would you remove your shoes?


- Remove your stinger.
- It's part of me.


I know. Just having some fun.
Enjoy your flight.


Then if we're lucky, we'll have
just enough pollen to do the job.


Oan you believe how lucky we are? We
have just enough pollen to do the job!


I think this is gonna work.


It's got to work.


Attention, passengers,
this is Oaptain Scott.


We have a bit of bad weather
in New York.


It looks like we'll experience
a couple hours delay.


Barry, these are cut flowers
with no water. They'll never make it.


I gotta get up there
and talk to them.


Be careful.


Oan I get help
with the Sky Mall magazine?


I'd like to order the talking
inflatable nose and ear hair trimmer.


Oaptain, I'm in a real situation.


- What'd you say, Hal?
- Nothing.


Bee!


Don't freak out! My entire species...


What are you doing?


- Wait a minute! I'm an attorney!
- Who's an attorney?


Don't move.


Oh, Barry.


Good afternoon, passengers.
This is your captain.


Would a Miss Vanessa Bloome in 24B
please report to the cockpit?


And please hurry!


What happened here?


There was a DustBuster,
a toupee, a life raft exploded.


One's bald, one's in a boat,
they're both unconscious!


- Is that another bee joke?
- No!


No one's flying the plane!


This is JFK control tower, Flight 356.
What's your status?


This is Vanessa Bloome.
I'm a florist from New York.


Where's the pilot?


He's unconscious,
and so is the copilot.


Not good. Does anyone onboard
have flight experience?


As a matter of fact, there is.


- Who's that?
- Barry Benson.


From the honey trial?! Oh, great.


Vanessa, this is nothing more
than a big metal bee.


It's got giant wings, huge engines.


I can't fly a plane.


- Why not? Isn't John Travolta a pilot?
- Yes.


How hard could it be?


Wait, Barry!
We're headed into some lightning.


This is Bob Bumble. We have some
late-breaking news from JFK Airport,


where a suspenseful scene
is developing.


Barry Benson,
fresh from his legal victory...


That's Barry!


...is attempting to land a plane,
loaded with people, flowers


and an incapacitated flight crew.


Flowers?!


We have a storm in the area
and two individuals at the controls


with absolutely no flight experience.


Just a minute.
There's a bee on that plane.


I'm quite familiar with Mr. Benson
and his no-account compadres.


They've done enough damage.


But isn't he your only hope?


Technically, a bee
shouldn't be able to fly at all.


Their wings are too small...


Haven't we heard this a million times?


"The surface area of the wings
and body mass make no sense."


- Get this on the air!
- Got it.


- Stand by.
- We're going live.


The way we work may be a mystery to you.


Making honey takes a lot of bees
doing a lot of small jobs.


But let me tell you about a small job.


If you do it well,
it makes a big difference.


More than we realized.
To us, to everyone.


That's why I want to get bees
back to working together.


That's the bee way!
We're not made of Jell-O.


We get behind a fellow.


- Black and yellow!
- Hello!


Left, right, down, hover.


- Hover?
- Forget hover.


This isn't so hard.
Beep-beep! Beep-beep!


Barry, what happened?!


Wait, I think we were
on autopilot the whole time.


- That may have been helping me.
- And now we're not!


So it turns out I cannot fly a plane.


All of you, let's get
behind this fellow! Move it out!


Move out!


Our only chance is if I do what I'd do,
you copy me with the wings of the plane!


Don't have to yell.


I'm not yelling!
We're in a lot of trouble.


It's very hard to concentrate
with that panicky tone in your voice!


It's not a tone. I'm panicking!


I can't do this!


Vanessa, pull yourself together.
You have to snap out of it!


You snap out of it.


You snap out of it.


- You snap out of it!
- You snap out of it!


- You snap out of it!
- You snap out of it!


- You snap out of it!
- You snap out of it!


- Hold it!
- Why? Oome on, it's my turn.


How is the plane flying?


I don't know.


Hello?


Benson, got any flowers
for a happy occasion in there?


The Pollen Jocks!


They do get behind a fellow.


- Black and yellow.
- Hello.


All right, let's drop this tin can
on the blacktop.


Where? I can't see anything. Oan you?


No, nothing. It's all cloudy.


Oome on. You got to think bee, Barry.


- Thinking bee.
- Thinking bee.


Thinking bee!
Thinking bee! Thinking bee!


Wait a minute.
I think I'm feeling something.


- What?
- I don't know. It's strong, pulling me.


Like a 27-million-year-old instinct.


Bring the nose down.


Thinking bee!
Thinking bee! Thinking bee!


- What in the world is on the tarmac?
- Get some lights on that!


Thinking bee!
Thinking bee! Thinking bee!


- Vanessa, aim for the flower.
- OK.


Out the engines. We're going in
on bee power. Ready, boys?


Affirmative!


Good. Good. Easy, now. That's it.


Land on that flower!


Ready? Full reverse!


Spin it around!


- Not that flower! The other one!
- Which one?


- That flower.
- I'm aiming at the flower!


That's a fat guy in a flowered shirt.
I mean the giant pulsating flower


made of millions of bees!


Pull forward. Nose down. Tail up.


Rotate around it.


- This is insane, Barry!
- This's the only way I know how to fly.


Am I koo-koo-kachoo, or is this plane
flying in an insect-like pattern?


Get your nose in there. Don't be afraid.
Smell it. Full reverse!


Just drop it. Be a part of it.


Aim for the center!


Now drop it in! Drop it in, woman!


Oome on, already.


Barry, we did it!
You taught me how to fly!


- Yes. No high-five!
- Right.


Barry, it worked!
Did you see the giant flower?


What giant flower? Where? Of course
I saw the flower! That was genius!


- Thank you.
- But we're not done yet.


Listen, everyone!


This runway is covered
with the last pollen


from the last flowers
available anywhere on Earth.


That means this is our last chance.


We're the only ones who make honey,
pollinate flowers and dress like this.


If we're gonna survive as a species,
this is our moment! What do you say?


Are we going to be bees, orjust
Museum of Natural History keychains?


We're bees!


Keychain!


Then follow me! Except Keychain.


Hold on, Barry. Here.


You've earned this.


Yeah!


I'm a Pollen Jock! And it's a perfect
fit. All I gotta do are the sleeves.


Oh, yeah.


That's our Barry.


Mom! The bees are back!


If anybody needs
to make a call, now's the time.


I got a feeling we'll be
working late tonight!


Here's your change. Have a great
afternoon! Oan I help who's next?


Would you like some honey with that?
It is bee-approved. Don't forget these.


Milk, cream, cheese, it's all me.
And I don't see a nickel!


Sometimes I just feel
like a piece of meat!


I had no idea.


Barry, I'm sorry.
Have you got a moment?


Would you excuse me?
My mosquito associate will help you.


Sorry I'm late.


He's a lawyer too?


I was already a blood-sucking parasite.
All I needed was a briefcase.


Have a great afternoon!


Barry, I just got this huge tulip order,
and I can't get them anywhere.


No problem, Vannie.
Just leave it to me.


You're a lifesaver, Barry.
Oan I help who's next?


All right, scramble, jocks!
It's time to fly.


Thank you, Barry!


That bee is living my life!


Let it go, Kenny.


- When will this nightmare end?!
- Let it all go.


- Beautiful day to fly.
- Sure is.


Between you and me,
I was dying to get out of that office.


You have got
to start thinking bee, my friend.


- Thinking bee!
- Me?


Hold it. Let's just stop
for a second. Hold it.


I'm sorry. I'm sorry, everyone.
Oan we stop here?


I'm not making a major life decision
during a production number!


All right. Take ten, everybody.
Wrap it up, guys.


I had virtually no rehearsal for that.




(...Did I win?)

I think so.
I can S.P.L.A.T into action!


I thank Hachiseiko for my (First) Avatar
Cactuses are cool now.
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Re: WAR OF THE COPYPASTA

Postby tyrantlemon55 » Sun Sep 10, 2017 6:54 pm

YOU HAVE DONE WELL, MY CHILD. BUT YOUR MEMERY IS LIMITED TO SEMI-DANK MEMES AND COPYPASTA. I HAVE ACHIEVED GOD DANKERY, KIDS.
Narrator: Ah, the sea... so fascinating. So wonderful. Here, we see Bikini Bottom, teeming with life. [Shows from left to right Patrick's, Squidward's, and SpongeBob's houses. Zooms in on SpongeBob's house] Home to one of my favorite creatures, SpongeBob SquarePants. Yes, of course he lives in a pineapple, you silly. [SpongeBob's alarm sounds; he wakes, but is unaffected by the annoying sound, and with a smile turns it off. He climbs from his bed to a ladder leading to his diving board]
SpongeBob: Today's the big day, Gary!
Gary: Meow.
SpongeBob: [Jumps on the diving board] Look at me, I'm... [Jumps up, and leaves his underwear behind] ...naked! [Lands inside pants, walks over to exercise room. His head pops out of the top of his pants] Gotta be in top physical condition for today, Gary.
Gary: Meow.
SpongeBob: [He goes inside his small gym that has a sign that says, "I Love Pain." Taking deep breaths, he prepares to lift a barbell that is balanced by two lightweight stuffed animals. He sticks out his chest, but almost passes out because he can barely lift it. He drops it, and it makes a 'squeak' noise] I'm ready! [Runs outside] I'm ready, I'm ready, I'm ready, I'm ready, I'm ready, I'm ready, I'm ready, I'm ready, I'm ready, I'm ready! [Patrick Star's rock tilts upwards with Patrick stuck to its underside]
Patrick: Go, SpongeBob! [Patrick falls] Whoa! [Crash!]
SpongeBob: [Runs down the street to the Krusty Krab] There it is. The finest eating establishment ever established for eating. The Krusty Krab, home of the Krabby Patty. With a 'Help Wanted' sign in the window! For years I've been dreaming of this moment! I'm gonna go in there, march straight to the manager, look 'im straight in the eye, [breaks the fourth wall and looks the audience in the eye] lay it on the line and... I can't do this! [He starts to run home but Patrick stops him] Uh, Patrick!
Patrick: Where do you think you're going?
SpongeBob: I was just...
Patrick: No you're not. You're going to the Krusty Krab and get that job!
SpongeBob: I can't, don't you see? I'm not good enough!
Patrick: Whose first words were "may I take your order"?
SpongeBob: Mine were.
Patrick: Who made a spatula out of toothpicks in wood shop?
SpongeBob: I did.
Patrick: [Grimaces and contorts twice while trying to come up with a good third line] Who's a, uh who's uhh, oh! Who's a big yellow cube with holes?
SpongeBob: I am!
Patrick: Who's ready?
SpongeBob: I'm ready!
Patrick: Who's ready?
SpongeBob: I'm ready!
Patrick: Who's ready?
SpongeBob: I'm ready! I'm ready! I'm ready! I'm ready! [Runs toward the Krusty Krab]
Squidward: [Cleaning graffiti of himself with the word Loser, sees SpongeBob, and sighs] Oh no, SpongeBob. What could he possibly want?
SpongeBob: [In background, at first while Squidward was talking] I'm ready! I'm ready! I'm ready! I'm ready! I'm ready! I'm ready! Go SpongeBob! Go SpongeBob! Go SpongeBob! Go self! [Squidward looks at the Help Wanted sign and runs inside]
Squidward: [While SpongeBob says, "I'm ready" one more time in the background] Mr. Krabs! [Cuts to the ordering window, where Mr. Krabs is happily sniffing a handful of money. Squidward runs up to him] Hurry, Mr. Krabs, before it's too late, I gotta tell you. [interrupted by SpongeBob]
SpongeBob: Permission to come aboard, captain! [deep voice] I've been training my whole life for the day I could join the Krusty Krew, [normal voice] And now I'm ready. [SpongeBob trips on a nail stuck in the floorboard. His fall causes him to bounce against the ceiling, SpongeBob shouts and blurts incomprehensibly while his bounces and ricochets around the building accelerate. He then rolls to a stop at the feet of Squidward and Mr. Krabs] So, uh, when do I start?
Mr. Krabs: Well lad, it looks like you don't even have your sea legs.
SpongeBob: Mr. Krabs, please. Ill prove I'm fry cook material. Ask Squidward, he'll vouch for me. [Mr. Krabs and Squidward quickly walk away from SpongeBob]
Squidward: [deep breath] No. [Mr. Krabs winks. They head back to SpongeBob]
Mr. Krabs: Well lad, well give you a test, and if you pass, you'll be on the Krusty Krew! Go out and fetch me... [SpongeBob takes out a notepad] a, uh, hydrodynamic spatula... [SpongeBob quickly jots down what he says] with, um, port-and-starboard-attachments, [more scribbling] and, uh... turbo drive! [more scribbling] And don't come back till you get one! [Mr. Krabs puts a Krusty Krab crew hat on SpongeBob. SpongeBob sees how he looks in a mirror, there are sparkles on his hat, and he has a huge, satisfied smile]
SpongeBob: [saluting Krabs] Aye aye, captain! [reading] One hydrodynamic spatula, with port-and-starboard attachments, turbo drive, coming right up, Sir!
Mr. Krabs: Carry on! [SpongeBob leaves] We'll never see that lubber again.
Squidward: You're terrible! A hydro-what? [Squidward and Mr. Krabs laugh. While Squidward laughs, his nose moves distinctly while he inhales and exhales. Krabs laugh sounds like a pirate. As they laugh, SpongeBob is shown leaving the Krusty Krab. As SpongeBob fades out of sight, five buses drive toward the Krusty Krab from the opposite direction]
Bus Driver: Hey! Hey! Please! Passengers are to stay seated and put their hands out the window! [The buses surround the Krusty Krab and the doors open, Mr. Krabs stops laughing]
Mr. Krabs: That sounded like hatch doors! [sniffs repeatedly] Do you smell it? That smell. A kind of smelly smell. A smelly smell that smells smelly. [bulgy eyes] Anchovies.
Squidward: What?
Mr. Krabs: Anchovies! [Anchovies get out of the buses and rush inside the Krusty Krab, crowding, repeating the word "meep" over and over again]
Squidward: Please, please, quiet! [anchovies stop talking] Is this any way to behave, hmmm?
Anchovy: Meep!
Squidward: Could we show a little decency and form a neat, single file line in front of the register? [The anchovies are quiet at first, then pick up the boat, as their cries of "meep!" become more intense. Cut to Barg'N-Mart as SpongeBob enters]
SpongeBob: [singing to himself] Barg'N-Mart, meeting all of your spatula needs. [Cuts to the Krusty Krab. Squidward and Mr. Krabs are still in the boat, and being tossed around]
Mr. Krabs: All hands on deck! Get your anchors out of your pants!
Squidward: One single file line was all I asked!
Mr. Krabs: Whoa! Batten down the hatches, Mr. Squidward! [Mr. Krabs and Squidward are thrown up in the air] Were taking on water, Mr. Squidward! [they get thrown back up again] I want my mommy, Mr Squidward! [cuts to Barg'N-Mart]
SpongeBob: [singing] Do do do do do do, spatula, spatula, port-and-starboard attachments. [Cuts to the Krusty Krab]
Squidward: Help!
Mr. Krabs: Man overboard! Climb, Mr. Squidward! Climb! [They climb the mast, while the anchovies try to get them down. The anchovies then form a big wave]
Anchovies: Meep! Meep!
Mr. Krabs: This is the end! Good-bye, Mr. Squidward!
Squidward: Oh Mr. Krabs! [They cry, then SpongeBob comes in with red lights flashing and flying with the spatula, singing a heroic tune]
SpongeBob: Permission to come aboard captain! Da da da da da da da! Da da da da da da da da da da! Did someone order a spatula?
Squidward and Mr. Krabs: [stuttering while shocked at the SpongeBob getting the hydrodynamic spatula]
SpongeBob: That's right! One hydrodynamic spatula with [two spatulas pop out on the sides of the previous one] port-and-starboard attachments, and lets not forget the turbo drive! [the two extending spatulas twirl around and smack Squidward and Mr. Krabs in the face] Would you believe they only had one in stock? To the kitchen! [to the anchovies] Who's hungry?! [Tiny Tim's Living in the Sunlight, Loving in the Moonlight plays while SpongeBob serves up Krabby Patty after Krabby Patty. Many, many, many Krabby Patties are launched through the opening window to the hungry anchovies. Eventually, all of the anchovies are served and they leave on the buses. Cuts to later]
Mr. Krabs: That was the finest fast foodsmanship I've ever seen, Mr. SquarePants! Welcome aboard! [Mr. Krabs gives SpongeBob a name tag]
Squidward: But, but Mr. Krabs...
Mr. Krabs: Three cheers for SpongeBob! Hip-hip!
Squidward: [weakly] Hooray, Mr.
Mr. Krabs: Hip-hip!
Squidward: [quickly] Hooray.
Mr. Krabs: Hip-hip!
Squidward: [quickly] Hooray. Mr. Krabs!
Mr. Krabs: I'll be in my quarters, counting up the booty. [He wheels a wheelbarrow piled with an enormous stack of cash to his office. Patrick enters]
Patrick: Good morning, Krusty Krew!
Squidward: What would you like to order, Patrick?
Patrick: One Krabby Patty, please. [SpongeBob flies back to the kitchen using his spatula and a score of Krabby Patties is immediately fired through the servery, which collide with Patrick and send him flying out of the Krusty Krab. Cuts to Krusty Krab exterior; crashing noises]
Patrick: [screams]
Squidward: Mr. Krabs! Mr. Krabs! [calmly and singing] Mr. Krabs, come see your new employee!
aw frick
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Re: WAR OF THE COPYPASTA

Postby tyrantlemon55 » Sun Sep 10, 2017 6:59 pm

WoAh?

wHoa?

whoa...

WhaO!

WHOA

WHOA

WHAO

WhoA

WHAO


~Crash Bandicoot
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Re: WAR OF THE COPYPASTA

Postby TheGreciansHousehold » Mon Sep 11, 2017 11:34 am

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-1987
My Fanon-Lore Posts

"Creativity is intelligence having fun."
- Albert Einstein

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I'm not really active here anymore. If you want to contact me, here's my Steam and my email is nala.korjo@gmail.com.
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Re: WAR OF THE COPYPASTA

Postby tyrantlemon55 » Mon Sep 11, 2017 8:36 pm

What the &*!? did you just ^%$&?- say about me, you little ?@&$!? I’ll have you know I graduated top of my class in the Navy Seals, and I’ve been involved in numerous secret raids on Al-Quaeda, and I have over 300 confirmed kills. I am trained in gorilla warfare and I’m the top sniper in the entire US armed forces. You are nothing to me but just another target. I will wipe you the &%$@ out with precision the likes of which has never been seen before on this Earth, mark my !@#$%^& words. You think you can get away with saying that !@#$ to me over the Internet? Think again, !@#$%^. As we speak I am contacting my secret network of spies across the USA and your IP is being traced right now so you better prepare for the storm, maggot. The storm that wipes out the pathetic little thing you call your life. You’re !@#$%^ dead, kid. I can be anywhere, anytime, and I can kill you in over seven hundred ways, and that’s just with my bare hands. Not only am I extensively trained in unarmed combat, but I have access to the entire arsenal of the United States Marine Corps and I will use it to its full extent to wipe your miserable !@# off the face of the continent, you little !@#$. If only you could have known what unholy retribution your little “clever” comment was about to bring down upon you, maybe you would have held your !@#$%^ tongue. But you couldn’t, you didn’t, and now you’re paying the price, you goddamn idiot. I will !@#$ fury all over you and you will drown in it. You’re !@#$%^ dead, kiddo.

~Basically every cyber-bullying victim ever. One comment on page= one prayer for those being bullied.
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Re: WAR OF THE COPYPASTA

Postby tyrantlemon55 » Mon Sep 11, 2017 8:40 pm

Oh, and by the way, TheGreciansHousehold, nice Rick-roll.
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Re: WAR OF THE COPYPASTA

Postby TheGreciansHousehold » Tue Sep 12, 2017 10:34 am

tyrantlemon55 wrote:Oh, and by the way, TheGreciansHousehold, nice Rick-roll.

Thank you.
My Fanon-Lore Posts

"Creativity is intelligence having fun."
- Albert Einstein

Oceanus Out.

──────────────────────
I'm not really active here anymore. If you want to contact me, here's my Steam and my email is nala.korjo@gmail.com.
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Re: WAR OF THE COPYPASTA

Postby tyrantlemon55 » Sat Sep 23, 2017 11:57 pm

WHY ME
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Re: WAR OF THE COPYPASTA

Postby DarkCreature97 » Sun Sep 24, 2017 2:40 am

TheGreciansHousehold wrote:01010111 01100101 00100111 01110010 01100101 00100000 01101110 01101111 00100000 01110011 01110100 01110010 01100001 01101110 01100111 01100101 01110010 01110011 00100000 01110100 01101111 00100000 01101100 01101111 01110110 01100101 00001101 00001010 01011001 01101111 01110101 00100000 01101011 01101110 01101111 01110111 00100000 01110100 01101000 01100101 00100000 01110010 01110101 01101100 01100101 01110011 00100000 01100001 01101110 01100100 00100000 01110011 01101111 00100000 01100100 01101111 00100000 01001001 00001101 00001010 01000001 00100000 01100110 01110101 01101100 01101100 00100000 01100011 01101111 01101101 01101101 01101001 01110100 01101101 01100101 01101110 01110100 00100111 01110011 00100000 01110111 01101000 01100001 01110100 00100000 01001001 00100111 01101101 00100000 01110100 01101000 01101001 01101110 01101011 01101001 01101110 01100111 00100000 01101111 01100110 00001101 00001010 01011001 01101111 01110101 00100000 01110111 01101111 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-1987


I see.
I want more Slime Rancher tings fam.
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Re: WAR OF THE COPYPASTA

Postby tyrantlemon55 » Sun Sep 24, 2017 12:51 pm

Please don't comment anymore. Only I can since i'm the creator of the thread.

tl;dr: thread is dead
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Re: WAR OF THE COPYPASTA

Postby CrazeePi » Mon Sep 25, 2017 9:01 pm

What the slime did you just sliming say about this thread, you OP? I’ll have you know I graduated top of my class in the Control-V Seals, and I’ve been involved in numerous secret copy-pastes on these forums, and I have over 300 confirmed copypastas saved to my computer.

I am trained in meme warfare and I’m the top copypaster in the entire Monomi Park Forums. You are nothing to me but just another thing to copy. I will wipe you the slime out with highlighting the likes of which has never been seen before on this Earth, mark my sliming words.

You think you can get away with saying that plort about this thread over the Internet? Think again, slimer. As we speak I am contacting my secret network of basement dwellers across the Monomi Park Forums and your IP is being traced right now so you better prepare for the storm, maggot. The storm that wipes out the pathetic little thing you call your life. You’re sliming dead, OP. I can post anywhere, anytime, and I can copy what you say in over seven hundred ways, and that’s just with two keys.

Not only am I extensively trained in dual key pressing, but I have access to the entire arsenal of the Monomi Park Moderation Force and I will use it to its full extent to wipe your miserable postcount off the face of the forums, you little plort. If only you could have known what unholy retribution your little “shutting down” comment was about to bring down upon you, maybe you would have held your sliming tongue.

But you couldn’t, you didn’t, and now you’re paying the price, you Original Poster. I will plort fury all over you and you will drown in Bee Movie scripts.

You’re sliming dead, OP.
If an admin or such sees this please delete this account. I did not see any way to delete this account in the settings.
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Re: WAR OF THE COPYPASTA

Postby tyrantlemon55 » Tue Sep 26, 2017 2:54 pm

Rick and Morty is an American adult animated science-fiction sitcom created by Justin Roiland and Dan Harmon for Cartoon Network's late-night programming block Adult Swim. The series follows the misadventures of cynical mad scientist Rick Sanchez and his fretful, easily influenced grandson Morty Smith, who split their time between domestic family life and interdimensional adventures. Roiland voices the series' eponymous characters, with the voice talent of Chris Parnell, Spencer Grammer, and Sarah Chalke providing the rest of the family. It premiered on December 2, 2013. The series originated from an animated short parody film of Back to the Future, titled The Real Animated Adventures of Doc and Mharti and created by Roiland for Channel 101, a short film festival co-founded by Harmon. When Adult Swim approached Harmon for television show ideas, he and Roiland decided to develop a program based on the short, while making a few alterations. In January 2014, the series was renewed for a second season which premiered on July 26, 2015. In August 2015, Adult Swim renewed the series for a third season, which will consist of 10 episodes. It premiered unannounced on April 1, 2017, with the second episode of the season airing on July 30, 2017, and the other eight episodes following weekly.[1] The show has received universal critical acclaim for its originality, creativity, and humor.
The show revolves around the adventures of the members of the Smith household, consisting of Rick Sanchez, an eccentric and alcoholic mad scientist, who eschews many ordinary conventions such as school, marriage and love; Morty Smith, Rick's 14-year-old grandson, a kind but easily distressed boy, whose naive but grounded moral compass plays counterpoint to Rick's Machiavellian ego; Summer Smith, Morty's 17-year-old sister, a more conventional teenager who worries about improving her status among her peers and sometimes follows Rick and Morty on their adventures; Beth Smith, Rick's daughter, a generally level-headed person and assertive force in the household, who is dissatisfied with her marriage and self-conscious about her professional role as a horse doctor; and Jerry Smith, Beth's husband, a simple-minded and insecure person, who disapproves of Rick's influence over his family.
Rick and Morty was created by Justin Roiland and Dan Harmon. The duo first met at Channel 101, a non-profit monthly short film festival in Los Angeles co-founded by Harmon.[4] At Channel 101, participants submit a short film in the format of a pilot, and a live audience decides which pilots continue as a series. Roiland, then a producer on reality programming, began submitting content to the festival a year after its launch, in 2004. His pilots typically consisted of shock value—"sick and twisted" elements that received a confused reaction from the audience.[4] Nevertheless, Harmon took a liking to his humor and the two began collaborating. In 2006, Roiland was fired from working on a television series he regarded as intensely creatively stifling, and funneled his creative energies into creating a webisode for Channel 101. The result was The Real Animated Adventures of Doc and Mharti, an animated short starring Doc Brown and Marty McFly, characters from the Back to the Future film trilogy.[5] In the short, which Harmon would dub "a bastardization, a pornographic vandalization", Doc Smith urges Mharti that the solution to all of his problems is to give him oral sex.[6] The audience reacted to it wildly, and Roiland began creating more shorts involving the characters, which soon evolved beyond his original intentions and their obvious origin within the film from which it was culled.[6][7] Harmon would later create and produce Community, an NBC sitcom, while Roiland would work primarily in voice acting for Disney's Fish Hooks and Cartoon Network's Adventure Time. In 2012, Harmon was fired from Community. Adult Swim, searching for a more prime-time, "hit" show,[8] approached Harmon shortly afterward, who initially viewed the channel as unfit for his style. He also was unfamiliar with animation, and his process for creating television focuses more heavily on dialogue, characters, and story.[7] Instead, he phoned Roiland to inquire if he had any ideas for an animated series. Roiland immediately brought up the idea of using the Doc and Mharti characters, renamed Rick and Morty.[6] Roiland initially wanted the show's run time to consist of one eleven-minute segment, but Adult Swim pushed for a half-hour program.[8] Harmon felt the best way to extend the voices into a program would be to build a family around the characters, while Adult Swim development executive Nick Weidenfeld suggested that Rick be Morty's grandfather. Having pitched multiple television programs that did not get off the ground, Roiland was initially very unreceptive to others attempting to give notes on his pitch.[6] Prior to developing Rick and Morty, he had created three failed animated pilots for Fox, and he had begun to feel "burned out" with developing television.[7] The first draft was completed in six hours on the Paramount Pictures lot in Dan Harmon's unfurnished Community office.[9] The duo had broken the story that day, sold the pilot, and then sat down to write.[7][10] Roiland, while acknowledging a tendency for procrastination, encouraged Harmon to stay and write the entire first draft.[9] "We were sitting on the floor, cross-legged with laptops and I was about to get up and go home and he said, 'Wait, if you go home, it might take us three months to write this thing. Stay here right now and we can write it in six hours.' He just had a premonition about that," recalled Harmon.[7] Adult Swim was initially unsure of Roiland doing both voices, partially due to the undeveloped nature of the character of Morty. Harmon wrote four short premises in which Morty took a more assertive role and sent it to Mike Lazzo.[9] Adult Swim placed a tamer TV-14 rating on the program, which initially was met with reluctance from the show's staff. The network's reason behind the rating was that it would soon begin broadcasting in prime-time, competing with major programs.[7] The main theme for Rick and Morty by Ryan Elder was originally used in a rejected Cartoon Network pilot Roiland made called "Dog World", which was also referenced in the episode "Lawnmower Dog".[11]
The general formula of Rick and Morty consists of the juxtaposition of two conflicting scenarios: an extremely selfish, alcoholic grandfather dragging his grandson across space for intergalactic and/or interdimensional adventures, intercut with domestic family drama.[6][8] This has led Harmon to describe the series as a cross between Matt Groening's two shows The Simpsons and Futurama, balancing family life with heavy science fiction.[12] Roiland stated his and Harmon's intentions for the series to lack traditional continuity, opting for discontinuous storylines "not bound by rules". In a similar interview session at the 2013 San Diego Comic-Con International, he described each episode as being "[its] own point of entry."[13] The first season writing staff consisted of Roiland, Harmon, Tom Kauffman, Ryan Ridley, Wade Randolph, and Eric Acosta, while writer's assistant Mike McMahan was also given writing credit. Described as a "very, very tiny little writers' room with a lot of heavy lifting from everybody," the show's writing staff, like many Adult Swim productions, is not unionized with the Writers' Guild of America.[12] The writing staff first meets and discusses ideas, which evolve into a story.[4] Discussions often include anecdotes from personal life as well as thoughts on the science fiction genre.[7] After breaking the story—which consists of developing its consistency and logical beginning, middle, and conclusion—a writer is assigned to create an outline. Roiland and Harmon do a "pass" on the outline, and from there the episode undergoes several more drafts. The final draft of the script is last approved by either of the co-creators.[4] In producing the series' first season, episodes were occasionally written out of order. For example, "Rick Potion #9" was the second episode written for the series, but was instructed to be animated as the fifth, as it would make more sense within the series' continuity.[4] The series is inspired by British-style storytelling, as opposed to traditional American "family TV" stories.[4] Harmon noted that the writers room at the show's studio bears a striking resemblance to the one used for Community.[7] In comparing the two, he noted that the writing staff of Rick and Morty was significantly smaller, and more "rough and tumble verbally," commenting, "There's a lot more Legos and Nerf guns."[7] Many episodes are structured with use of a story circle, a Harmon creation based largely on Joseph Campbell's monomyth, or The Hero's Journey. Its two-act structure places the act break at an odd location in the stages of the monomyth: after The Meeting with the Goddess, instead of Atonement with the Father.[9] Harmon has stated that his inspiration behind much of the concept and humor for the series comes from various British television series, such as The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy and Doctor Who. He figures that the audience will only understand developments from Morty's point of view, but stated "we don't want to be the companions. We want to hang out with the Doctor, we idolize the Doctor, but we don't think like him, and that's really interesting, Rick is diseased, he's mentally ill, he's an absolute lunatic because he lives on this larger scale."[14]
Animation for the show is done using Toon Boom Harmony, post-production work is done in Adobe After Effects, and background art is done in Adobe Photoshop.[15] Production of animation is handled by Bardel Entertainment in Canada.[16] Roiland's cartooning style is heavily indebted to The Simpsons, a factor he acknowledged in a 2013 interview, while also comparing his style to that of Pendleton Ward (Adventure Time) and J.G. Quintel (Regular Show): "You'll notice mouths are kind of similar and teeth are similar, but I think that's also a stylistic thing that... all of us are kind of the same age, and we're all inspired by The Simpsons and all these other shows we're kind of subconsciously tapping into."[12] John Kricfalusi's The Ren & Stimpy Show was another strong influence for Rick and Morty, which is why, according to Roiland, the small "w-shaped mouths" that the characters occasionally make is a reference to a similar expression that Ren frequently makes. When recording dialogue, Roiland does a considerable amount of improvisation, in order to make the characters feel more natural.[17]
There has been discussion among viewers about the philosophy of Rick and Morty.[18] The show most frequently adopts an existentialist perspective, while Harmon has described Rick as an anarchist, who doesn't like being told what to do.[19] Other philosophies that have been referenced in the characters behavior and observations include: absurdism, nihilism and the work of Friedrich Nietzsche.[20][21] A frequently-cited example is a point Morty makes in "Rixty Minutes", where he argues that Summer shouldn't run away from home in anger after learning of alternative realities where her parents were happier without her: Nobody exists on purpose, nobody belongs anywhere, everybody's gonna die. Come watch TV. This statement heavily resembles a quote from French existentialist Jean-Paul Sartre:[22] Every existing thing is born without reason, prolongs itself out of weakness, and dies by chance.
The series was first announced during Adult Swim's 2012 Upfront presentation.[23] Adult Swim ordered 10 half-hour episodes (not including the pilot) to comprise the first season.[24][25] Matt Roller, a writer for the series, confirmed via Twitter that the network renewed Rick and Morty for a second season, which premiered on July 26, 2015. In August 2015, Adult Swim renewed the series for a third season, which consists of 10 episodes.[26] It premiered unannounced on April 1, 2017, with the rest of the season beginning on July 30, 2017.[27]
Adult Swim has made all of the episodes available on iTunes, Google Play, Amazon, YouTube, and Vudu, as well as a 37-minute interview between creators Harmon and Roiland at the 2013 San Diego Comic-Con International, and a panel at the 2015 ATX Television Festival.[28] Episodes have also been made available to stream on the series' official website with a cable provider login.[29] The episode "Rixty Minutes" was released early by the network via 109 15-second videos on Instagram.[30] Some of the episodes are available for free streaming on Adult Swim's website; for the rest a U.S. cable subscription is required.[31] Season one was made available for on-demand viewing on Hulu in June 2015. Season two is also available as of June 2016.[32] Seasons 1-3 are available on Netflix in some countries.[fn 1]
The complete first season was released on DVD (Region 1) and Blu-ray on October 7, 2014.[33] Before its release, Roiland had confirmed that it would contain uncensored audio tracks.[34] The complete second season was released on DVD (Region 1) and Blu-ray on June 7, 2016.[35]
Rick and Morty has received critical acclaim, holding a 98% approval rating by critics on review aggregator website Rotten Tomatoes.[36] Additionally, the first season of Rick and Morty holds a Metacritic score of 85 based on eight reviews, indicating "universal acclaim".[37] David Weigand of San Francisco Chronicle described it as "offbeat and occasionally coarse... the take-away here is that it works". He praised the animation direction by James McDermott for being "fresh, colorful and as wacky as the script", and states that the series possesses "shades of Futurama, South Park and even Beetlejuice", ultimately opining that its humor felt "entirely original".[38] Neil Genzlinger of The New York Times praised the series and stated that it was "Grandparenting at its unhinged finest."[39] Todd Spangler of Variety gave the series a lukewarm review; while he found the series was passable, he contrasted it with other Adult Swim series as "often seems overly reliant on simply being frenetic at the expense of being witty" and enjoyed it as "a welcome attempt to dream just a little bigger".[40] David Sims of The A.V. Club gave the series an "A−". In reviewing the first two episodes, he complimented the animation for its "clean, simple style". He stated that while the series has "a dark, sick sensibility", he praised its "effort to give each character a little bit of depth", further applauding Roiland's voice talent for the eponymous characters.[41]
In popular culture
This article appears to contain trivial, minor, or unrelated references to popular culture. Please reorganize this content to explain the subject's impact on popular culture rather than simply listing appearances; add references to reliable sources if possible, otherwise delete it. (July 2017) Film and television The fast food restaurant chain Hardee's/Carl's Jr. released a television commercial in 2015 in which Rick brings several walking, sentient Hardee's/Carl's Jr. burgers into a sleeping Morty's room. The burgers run amok and steal objects.[44] A 2015 episode of The Simpsons, "Mathlete's Feat", opened with an elaborate couch gag featuring Rick and Morty, written by Harmon and Roiland.[45] Matt Groening, creator of The Simpsons, described it as "probably the most ambitious and lengthy couch gag" on The Simpsons to date.[46] In the first trailer for the 2017 film Justice League, a computer monitor in Barry Allen's apartment is shown to be playing the episode "Something Ricked This Way Comes".[47] In a promotional short film for the 2017 film Alien: Covenant, Rick and Morty land on an Engineer's ship in the Alien dimension in response to a distress signal, wherein a facehugger attaches itself to Rick's face and dies from the toxicity of the drugs and alcohol in Rick's body.[48][49] Comics At New York Comic Con 2014, editor-in-chief of Oni Press, James Lucas Jones, announced that a Rick and Morty comic book adaptation would be released in early 2015.[50] On April 1, 2015, the series debuted with its first monthly issue, entitled "BAM!"[51] The series is written by Zac Gorman and illustrated by CJ Cannon.[52] Artist Tom Fowler wrote a multi-issue story arc that began in March, 2016.[53] Video games In 2014, Rick and Morty's Rushed Licensed Adventure, a Flash point-and-click adventure game, was released on the Adult Swim website.[54] In December 2014, Rick and Morty: Jerry's Game was released for iOS and Android. The game consists of the player popping balloons and air filled condoms endlessly. Characters show up from time to time. The amount of balloons popped is counted and used as currency for unlocking special balloons, backdrops, and features. The game is based on a game Jerry was seen playing in an episode. The game includes micro-transactions.[55] On August 10, 2015, a Rick and Morty-themed announcer pack was released for the competitive multiplayer video game Dota 2.[56] The announcer pack can be purchased by players and replaces the Default announcer and Mega-Kills announcer with characters from Rick and Morty, voiced by Justin Roiland. Pocket Mortys is a Pokémon parody game set in the "Rick and Morty Rickstaverse",[57] released on iOS and Android as a free-to-play game from Adult Swim Games, released early[58] on January 13, 2016. Coinciding with the many-worlds interpretation, the game follows versions of Rick and Morty that belong to an alternate timeline, rather than the duo followed in the show. The game uses a style and concept similar to the Pokémon games, with catching various "wild" Mortys, battling them with a variety of Aliens, Ricks, and Jerrys. The game features voice acting from Roiland and Harmon. Rick and Morty Simulator: Virtual Rick-ality, announced on July 15, 2016 and released on April 20, 2017, is a VR game for HTC Vive VR and Oculus Rift developed by Owlchemy Labs, the developers of Job Simulator.[59][60] Tabletop games On June 22, 2016, Cryptozoic Entertainment released Total Rickall, a co-operative strategy card game based on the plot of the episode of the same name, where players must determine which characters are real or parasites.[61] On August 3, 2016, Cryptozoic Entertainment released Mr. Meeseeks' Box o' Fun, a game combining elements of dice games and truth or dare featuring the popular Mr. Meeseeks character from the episode "Meeseeks and Destroy".[62] Other On August 4, 2016, Adult Swim released a video called "State of Georgia Vs. Denver Fenton Allen", featuring the characters reenacting an infamous preliminary hearing from Rome, Georgia.[63] The segment was later animated by fan tiarawhy on October 5 using Toon Boom Harmony 14 (the same animation software used by the series).[64][65] On February 21, 2017, Adult Swim Australia released a YouTube video [66] titled "Rick and Morty - EXCLUSIVE! Season 3 Opening Scene".[67] The video was in fact a mash-up of dialogue excerpts from Seasons 1 and 2 to form the lyrics of "Never Gonna Give You Up", a form of the popular rickrolling prank. This video was #1 Trending video on YouTube worldwide for several days. On May 11, 2017, the Rick and Morty Don't Even Trip Road Trip made its first stop in a coast-to-coast tour. The Rickmobile: a traveling shop with exclusive merchandise, makes its final stop of the tour on October 8, 2017, at Comic Con in New York City.[68]
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Re: WAR OF THE COPYPASTA

Postby ArannRules » Wed Sep 27, 2017 3:31 am

A chunk of pokemon sun script

Opening
Kukui: Hang on, now. Gimme just a sec...
Kukui: Hey there! Good evening!

Kukui: So the day has finally come that you're moving to Alola!

Kukui: Alola is a region made up of several islands.

Kukui: That could be the reason the region is chock full of nothin' but rare Pokemon, yeah.

Kukui: There's no shortage of cool Pokemon out here in Alola, either!

Kukui: Such mysterious creatures!

Kukui: You find 'em all over. In the grass, in the caves, in the sky and sea...

Kukui: Here in Alola we love our Pokemon, and we depend on them heaps, too.

Kukui: Some of us even battle with 'em, if we call ourselves Pokemon Trainers!

Kukui: Rockruff! Can you wait until i'm done talkin' to play?!

Kukui: All right, I gotta ask you some questions about yourself so I can introduce you to everybody!

Kukui: So which photo should I use for your Trainer Passport?

(Choose a photo)

(After choosing a photo, you need to make a game name)

Kukui: 10-4, good buddy! I'll let everybody out here know you're on your way!

Kukui: (Your Game Name)!

Kukui: Yeah, that's a name that hits you like a Thunderbolt outta the sky! Woo!

Kukui: Can't wait to see you in person then, cousin!

Mom: (Your Game Name)! Come help me with these boxes!

(Goes into a Cutscene)

Home #1
Mom: Ahhh! Could anything be more soothing? The first evening spent under Alola's calm moon! I feel like I could stay out here all night.
Mom: But that's enough of that! Time to unpack all these boxes!

Mom: Meowth? Go get (Your Game Name) for me, would you?

Meowth: Meow?

Mom: You were out like a light, weren't you? You ought to be full of energy by now!

Mom: So, (Your Game Name)... are you pumped to meet some Alolan Pokemon?


Choice #1

Choice # Choice Outcome
#1 Of Course Mom: That's Right! I want to hurry up and meet some, too!
#2 I guess... Mom: Oh, you! Someday you're going to learn to have a little wonder in your life!
Mom: We're Living in the Alola region now! The beautiful islands everyone wants to visit!
Mom: I'm sure the Pokemon living in a place like this must be friendly, right?

(Someone at the Door)

Mom: Was that the doorbell?

Mom: That's got to be Professor Kukui. Why Don't you let him in, (Your Game Name)?

(welcome him in)

Kukui: Hey there, (Your Game Name)!

Kukui: The name's Kukai. Good to meet you, cousin!

Kukui: You gotta be tired after that long trip all the way out here to Alola!

Kukui: You feelin' any jet lag?

Kukui: We sure are a long way from Kanto out here in Alola. It's still nighttime out here, yeah!

Mom: Professor Kukui! Yes, we just arrived yesterday.

Kukui: Hey there, mom! I just let myself in. Oh, and call me Kukui, would you?

Kukui: Welcome to Alola!

Mom: Of course, I still remember seeing you battle the Indigo Gym Leaders back in Kanto all those years ago, you know!

Mom: I've been in love with Alolan Pokemon ever since, so i finally decided to come here myself!

Kukui: Ha! I was supposed to be visiting there to research Kanto Pokemon moves and all.

Kukui: I thought I knew a thing or two about battling, but those Kanto Gym Leaders proved me wrong!

Kukui: Hey now, (Your Game Name)!

Kukui: Let's get a move on to the next town over, cousin! Time for you to meet the Island Kahuna and get yourself a Pokemon, yeah!


Choice #2

Choice # Choice Outcome
#1 A Pokemon?! Kukui: Yeah, sure. The kahuna who lives in Iki Town is always happy to give any kid who wants to have an adventure their first Pokemon, yeah.
Kukui: But don't try taking on the kahuna yourself! The kahunas are crazy-strong Pokemon Trainers. They're unbeatable for folks like me and you!
#2 Kahuna Kukui: Sure, sure. The kahunas are crazy-strong Pokemon Trainers here in Alola, cousin! They're unbeatable for folks like me and you!
Kukui: and the Kahuna who lives in Iki Town is always happy to give any kid who wants to have an adventure their first Pokemon, yeah.
Mom: They'll simply give my boy a Pokemon? Then those kahunas really are worth meeting!
Mom: Hurry and get ready, (Your Game Name)!

Mom: Your Bag and hat and things are still in the boxes in your room, I think.

Mom: And didn't you leave your copy of Adventure Rules on your desk in there, too?

Kukui: Ooh, I bet you've got a stylin' hat that'll match mine, yeah?

(Get stuff from boxes and a little cutscene)

Mom: You look ready for anything, now. Have a good time out there!

Mom: I'll be sure to have everything cleaned up and put away by the time you come back with your new Pokemon!

Kukui: Woo, that's a stylin' hat, cousin!

(everybody laughs)

Kukui: Your mom there... She's sure looking forward to you getting your first Pokemon, yeah?

Kukui: So let's get going to Iki Town!

Kukui: Time for you to get a real nice Pokemon from the island kahuna, oh yeah!


Route 1: Hau'oli Outskirts #1
Kukui: Now this is more like it, yeah!
Kukui: Welcome to paradise, cousin. This is the Alola region!

Kukui: Folks here in Alola get along by living together with Pokemon and working together, too.

Kukui: After all...

Kukui: You can go anywhere, yeah, as long as you got Pokemon helping you out here.

Kukui: That's why we gotta get you to the kahuna!

Kukui: First, we're off to Iki Town! Come on, it's not far if we cut up here.



Route 1
Kukui: So, (Your Game Name)! You're lovin' Alola already, yeah?

Choice #3

Choice # Choice Outcome
#1 Yeah! Kukui: That's what I like to hear! The more you love Alola, the happier i'll be!
#2 ...I guess Kukui: Hey, don't sweat it, cousin. It's pretty normal to feel a bit unsure when you're in a new place.
Kukui: Oh yeah! Look there! Looks like an excited Alolan Trainer's come to us!
Young Trainer: Professor Kukui! You've gotta recommend another move for me sometime! Please?

Kukui: Why? You already know which moves you want to use, yeah?

Kukui: You come find me next time your Pokemon learns a new move, and then i'll battle you.

Kukui: See that? If you had a Pokemon with you, you could dive into the tall grass here, yeah, to try to catch some wild Pokemon to add to your team!

Kukui: Then Trainers go up against one another in battle with the Pokemon they love!

Young Trainer 2: Come on, Yungoos!

(Yungoos Hss's)

Young Trainer 2: Howzit! You're the new kid that just flew in? Let's have a Pokemon battle sometime!

Kukui: Having Pokemon gives you a whole new way to communicate with other people, see?

Kukui: Now let's get moving! Iki Town is right over there!



Iki Town #1
Kukui: And we're here! This right here is Iki Town!
Kukui: This town is where folks come to worship the Pokemon that watches over Melemele Island. Tapu Koko keeps us all safe and happy, see!

Kukui: Huh? What's goin' on here? We were supposed to meet everybody right here, yeah.

Kukui: Maybe they're all back there on Mahalo Trail.

Kukui: That's where the ruins of our guardian deity, Tapu Koko, are, yeah...

Kukui: (Your Game Name)! Do me a solid and go find the island kahuna!

Kukui: I'll wait around here to make sure we don't miss each other.

Kukui: The island kahuna? You can't miss him. He looks just like a kahuna.

(go up the stairs)

Lillie: Really? You want to go up to the ruins? I don't know what you hope to find there...



Mahalo Trail
Lillie: You can't come out! We'll get in trouble if anyone sees you.

Mahalo Trail: Plank Bridge
(Small Cutscene)
Lillie: Ah...


Choice #4

Choice # Choice Outcome
#1 What's Wrong? Lillie: H-help...
#2 Who are you? Lillie: Never mind me...
Lillie: You have to help it! Please!

Lillie: Save Nebby!
Nebby: Pe-e-ew...

Lillie: Those Spearow are attacking it! But... but i'm too afraid to go out there... My legs feel like they might give out...

(Small Cutscene)

Nebby: Pew!

Lillie: Oh... Oh, thank goodness!

Lillie: You tried using your power again... didn't you?

Lillie: Oh, Nebby...

Lillie: You know what happened last time you used it. You couldn't move for ages after that.

Lillie: I don't want to see you like that again!

Lillie: No... I shouldn't say that. I'm sorry, Nebby...

Lillie: I know you were trying to save me that time...

Lillie: And I couldn't even help you in return...

Nebby: Pew!

Lillie: What... What is that?

Nebby: Pew pew!

Lillie: A sparkling... stone? It feels almost warm somehow...

Lillie: Please, forgive me...

Lillie: I am so grateful to you for helping us out of that dangerous spot.


Choice #5

Choice # Choice Outcome
#1 Who are you? N/A
#2 Are you the kahuna? N/A

Lillie: I think this stone must belong to you.
(Obtain Sparkling Stone)

Lillie: Please...

Lillie: Don't tell anyone about this... About seeing Nebby...

Lillie: It's... it's a secret, OK?

Lillie: Come on. Into the bag, Nebby.

Nebby: Pew...

Lillie: Um...

Lillie: I'm worried we might get attacked again by some wild Pokemon or... or something.

Lillie: I know it's too much for me to ask it, but... Do you think you could see us back to town?



Iki Town #2
Kukui: Hey! (Your Game Name)! Looks like you missed the kahuna, yeah?
Kukui: But you found my assistant, oh yeah!

Kukui: Looks like you already met, but just in case, this is my assistant!

Lillie: Oh... um... yes! You can call me Lillie.

Kukui: And, Lillie, this here is (Your Game Name). He just moved here to Alola! Take good care of him!

Lillie: So... you're also one of the professor's acquaintances?

Lillie: It's nice to meet you...

Iki Citizen 1: The kahuna is back! Kahuna Hala has returned!

Iki Citizen 2: Our guardian's chosen one is back!

Iki Citizen 3: Only one of the strongest Pokemon users in all Alola, yeah!

Hala: Have i missed something?

Kukui: Naw, but where'd you go off to, Kahuna? I thought we were meeting here.

Hala: I am kahuna of this island, after all.

Hala: Whenever there is a problem on the island, it is my duty to resolve it.

Hala: Sorry, Lillie. What were you saying before?

Hala: For some reason I thought I saw Tapu Koko flying about...

Lillie: Oh, um... Yes, Kahuna Hala...

Lillie: Nebby was being attacked by Spearow on the Plank Bridge when this boy helped it get away...

Lillie: But the bridge collapsed, and I thought both of them might fall to the bottom of the ravine...

Lillie: And that was when the island's guardian deity swooped in to save them!

Kukui: Woo! That's something you don't hear every day!

Hala: Ho! Although it is said to protect us, our Tapu Koko is a rather fickle creature. Yet our guardian was moved to save you.

Hala: Kukui, my boy, I think we have cause to celebrate!

Hala: It seems I should entrust this brave and kind young boy with a Pokemon of his own. We'll make a fine Trainer out of him!

Hala: I'm glad to meet you, child. I am Halam the kahuna of Melemele Island.

Hala: Welcome to Alola! Young Kukui had told me of your coming. I'm glad we got the chance to meet today.

Hala: Come, my Pokemon! Let's have a look at you!

Hala: First is the Grass-type Pokemon, Rowlet!

Rowlet: Koo!

Hala: Next is the Fire-type Pokemon, Litten!

Litten: Mrowr...

Hala: And last is the Water-type Pokemon, Popplio!

Popplio: Bwark?

(Choosing Pokemon screen)

Hala: Which Pokemon will you choose as your partner?

(after choosing a Pokemon)

Hala: Will you choose the (Pokemon you chose)?

Hala: Only when you have both chosen each other can you truly call each other partners.

Hala: So let us see if little (Pokemon you chose) there also decides to choose you!

(waiting for Pokemon to choose you)

Hala: Ho! So little (Pokemon you chose) has accepted you as well, (Your Game Name)!

Kukui: Having accepted one another, you'll surely be friends for life!

Lillie: Nice to meet you, (Your Pokemon Name)!

Nebby: Pew!

Lillie: Oh! When did you get out again?

Lillie: I know that Kahuna Hala and the professor will keep you safe from any harm, but you should still stay in the bag and out of sight. It's safer that way.

Lillie: I think you chose a wonderful Pokemon. Please take very good care of it.

Kukui: That's it, (Your Game Name)! Now that you've got a Pokemon, you're a real Pokemon Trainer, yeah!

Kukui: And here's a lovely gift from me to help make it special, cousin.

(Obtained Pokedex)

Kukui: A Pokedex is a real high-tech kinda tool, yeah, that can automatically record facts about any Pokemon that you meet.

Kukui: Your new partner (Your Pokemon Name) is already registered, oh yeah, so check it out!

Kukui: and this is a Trainer Passport that I had put together for you.

Kukui: Now why don't you go introduce your new friend to your mom, (Your Game Name)?

Hau: Hey! You and me! Let's have a Pokemon Battle!

Hala: Dahahaha! Where's the fire, boy?

Hala: And what kind of a Pokemon battle would that be where you don't even give a name first, eh?

Hau: Fair enough. Then i'm Hau. And my partner's (Pokemon depends on what starter Pokemon you chose)

Hau: Your (Your Pokemon Name) looks really cool, too!


Choice #6

Choice # Choice Outcome
#1 Thanks? N/A
#2 You like Pokemon? N/A

Hau: Yeah! So let's battle!
Hau: I couldn't wait for you to find your way to Iki Town, so i've been all over looking for you!

Lillie: Um...

Lillie: I don't really like to see Pokemon battles where Pokemon can get hurt... but i'll watch for you.

Kukui: Oh yeah, your first battle already!

Kukui: Just have your Pokemon dish out some moves and see who wins. Woo!

Hala: I appreciate you being willing to take on my grandson here.

Hala: I expect a no-holds-barred battle from the both of you!

(talking to Hau)

Hau: You will battle me, right? I know you will! Right?


Choice #7

Choice # Choice Outcome
#1 Yeah, and I won't lose! Hau: All Right! This is gonna be great!
Hala: Very well, then! Let the Pokemon battle begin!
#2 Not Now! Says nothing

(after the Pokemon battle)
Hau: Hoo-ee! That gave me chicken skin!

Hau: (Your Game Name), right? Your (Pokemon Name) was awesome!

Hau: Now that settles it! I'm going all out tomorrow!

Hala: Hm? (Your Game Name)...

Hala: Would you be so kind as to give me a look at that sparkling stone you have there?

(Hand over the stone)

Hala: Could it be?!

Hau: Tutu, isn't that...

Hala: You were rescued by Tapu Koko at the bridge- isn't that what i heard, (Your Game Name)?


Choice #8

Choice # Choice Outcome
#1 Yeah, it rescued me N/A
#2 That's when i got that stone N/A
Hala: So it even deigned to give you a stone...
Hala: Perhaps you are here in Alola, (Your Game Name), because this is where you are meant to be.

Hala: Allow me to borrow this stone for now.

Hala: Fret not! I'll return it to you tomorrow evening.

Hala: It would seem that you have the makings of a fine Trainer.

Hala: You must do us the honor of joining in our festival tomorrow!

Kukui: First i'll make sure you get back home safe today, though, (Your Game Name).

Kukui: Lillie, you two should come with us, too, yeah.

Kukui: Wouldn't want to go losing you twice in one day. You or that precious Pokemon of yours!

Lillie: Yes... I will keep an eye on...

Nebby: Pew!

Lilly: Oh, you! Would you not try to escape the very moment that you were told not to wander off!

(everyone starts laughing)


Home #2
Mom: Welcome back, (Your Game Name)!
Mom: So! What kind of Pokemon did you get?

Mom: Don't keep me waiting!

Mom: Oh! I think i'm falling in love! So why did you choose this sweetheart?


Choice #9

Choice # Choice Outcome
#1 Because it's cute N/A
#2 Because it's cool N/A
Mom: Well then, you picked right... because i'd say this little charmer is definitely cute and cool!
Mom: The two of you look great together... I feel happier just looking at the pair of you!

(Your Pokemon and Meowth interact)

(the Next Day)

Mom: What a stunning sunset! All right, today's the day that i finally unpack-

(Someone at the the door)

Mom: Was that the doorbell? Go see who it is, (Your Game Name)

(welcome Kukui at the door)

Kukui: Hey there, (Your Game Name)! It's about time we set out for the festival, yeah!

Kukui: But first...

Kukui: Now that you're a real Pokemon Trainer with your own Pokemon and all, i've gotta show you something. Come with me out to Route 1!

Mom: Have fun at the festival, sweetie!

Mom: I'm sure you'll have a good time with your new Pokemon pal!

Mom: Me and Meowth will be sure to unpack every last box here - you'll see!

Meowth: Mreee?!



Route 1: Hau'oli Outskirts #2
Kukui: (Your Game Name)! Hurry it up, cousin!
Kukui: Pretend you're a Pokemon and use your Agility!




Route 1
Kukui: Yeah, over here!
Kukui: So you know that wild Pokemon will sometimes jump out at you in the tall grass, yeah?

Kukui: Now that you've got (Your Pokemon Name) there, you can not only fight wild Pokemon, yeah... you can also try to catch 'em. Woo!

Kukui: I'm going to show you how to catch a wild Pokemon, all right? Keep your eyes on the prize!

(Tutorial for fighting/capturing wild Pokemon)

Kukui: Oh yeah!

Kukui: Wild Pokemon do sometimes attack people if they get close, but catch 'em and they'll join your team and be a great help to you, yeah!

Kukui: But if your Pokemon get all tuckered out by fighting for you, just head home for a bit. If you ask your mom, i'm sure she'll let you and your whole team rest up at home.

Kukui: Or you could use some Potions!

Kukui: Here're some Poke Balls and Potions to get you started out.

(Get 10 Poke Balls and 5 Potions)

Kukui: Why don't you have a little adventure of your own on the way to Iki Town, yeah?

Kukui: Take good care of (Your Game Name), (Your Pokemon Name)!

(Head to Ikie Town)



Iki Town #3
Hala: The Alola region is made up of our four islands.
Hala: And each island has its own guardian Pokemon.

Hala: Our festival today is held to express our thanks to these great Pokemon guardian deities for always remaining by our sides.

Hala: Well, we may call it a festival, but it's just this little thing you see here.

Hala: There may not be many of us, but at least every last one of us here goes all out.

Hau: Ho! Howzit, (Your Game Name)?

Hau: Man, I thought you'd never make it! Ma and (his Pokemon depending what starter Pokemon you chose) been waiting for ages!

Hau: Hold on... Didn't anyone explain to you about tonight?!

Kukui: Oh yeah, right on time!

Lillie: But to what exactly?

Nebby: Pew!

Kukui: A full-powered festival for Pokemon battling!

Kukui: We battle in the name of Tapu Koko, pitting our best moves against one another in friendly competition to please our guardian. Woo!

Lillie: So you two will be taking part in the battle?

Lillie: I don't like seeing Pokemon fight one another, since they so often end up getting hurt...

Lillie: But it seems like this is an important event, so i'll be sure to watch you both.

Hala: Your Pokemon have fought for you, so show them the same care in return, (Your Game Name)

Hala: Allow me to heal them for you this time.

(Your Pokemon get healed)

Hala: Are you ready for this Pokemon battle?


Choice #10

Choice # Choice Outcome
#1 Yes Hala: Then let's begin!
#2 No Hala: When you feel that you're ready, come back and tell me.
Hala: For all life on our islands...
Hala: and for those who undertake the island challenge with joy in their hearts...

Hala: we pray for your protection... for them and all Melemele.

Hala: May this Pokemon battle be an offering to our island's guardian deity - Tapu Koko!

Hala: Before you stands Hau - grandson to the kahuna.

Hala: Before him stands (Your Game Name) - one who has met with Tapu Koko.

Iki Citizen Bystander 1: What?!

Iki Citizen Bystander 2: What a curious little thing Tapu Koko is! Hah, that's just typical of it!

Mom: (Your Pokemon Name)! Take care of my little (Your Game Name)!

Hau: As long as we both have a good time, then i think we can call it a great battle, eh?

Hala: (Your Game Name)! Hau! Bring forth the power of your Pokemon!

(After the Pokemon Battle)

Iki Citizen Bystander 3: Hoo-ee! Another great battle this year.

Iki Citizen Bystander 3: I bet Tapu Koko liked it, too.

Hau: Phew... That was awesome, (Your Game Name)

Hau: That was a really great battle! I had a blast fighting you!

Hala: It was a good battle. With this, even Tapo Koko...

Tapo Koko: Ko-ko-kooo!

Hala: Ho! You Heard it for yourself! Tapu Koko's song of approval.

Hala: Oh, I nearly forgot! I think it is time you take this, (Your Game Name).

(Obtained Z-Ring)

Hala: Your Z-Ring, a mysterious armband that can draw out the power that lies deep within Pokemon...

Hala: It can bring forth their Z-Power!

Hala: We kahunas can make them by refining stones like the Sparkling Stone that you received from Tapu Koko.

Hala: Although until you collect more Z-Crystals during your island challenge, you will not be able to draw out the Z-Power of your Pokemon.

Hala: And yet you have already received that Sparkling Stone...

Hala: It seems Tapu Koko took quite a liking to you... or perhaps it has a mission for you.

Kukui: In other words, it's time for you to get out there and start your island challenge!

Kukui: If you visit every island, maybe you'll figure out what that mission is.


Choice #11

Choice # Choice Outcome
#1 The island challenge? N/A
#2 Every Island? N/A

Kukui: Four islands!
Kukui: You'll travel to each of the four islands here in the Alola region.

Kukui: The island challenge is about aiming to be the strongest trainer - the island challenge champion. Woo!

Hau: Sounds great, right? I can't wait to have a real adventure!

Kukui: I'll explain about the island challenge later!

Lillie: Tapu Koko is amazing, isn't it?

Lillie: I hope I can meet it again someday and thank it for saving Nebby...

Nebby: Pew!


Choice #12

Choice # Choice Outcome
#1 Me, too Lillie: It saved you as well, didn't it? And left you with that sparkling stone... even though you're a stranger to this place.
#2 Oh yeah? Lillie: You know, (Your Game Name)... it did save your life, too.
Lillie: And it even gifted you that sparkling stone... even though you're a stranger to this place.

Kukui: Suppose it's time we get you kids home yeah?
Lillie: Then I suppose this is good-bye...



Home #3
Mom: Honey, i'm home!
Meowth: Mrawr!

Mom: Oh, (Your Game Name)! You're back already? I thought you'd want to stay in Iki Town longer...

Mom: Especially right after that great battle! Ooh, i was just captivated to see my own boy fighting in such perfect sync with his Pokemon!

Mom: Maybe it would be a good idea for you to try that island challenge thing...

Mom: It's something you can only do in Alola, right?

Mom: But right now i've got a date with my bed. I danced my feet off at that festival! Night-night, sweetie. You get some sleep, too!

(The next day)

Mom: What beautiful weather!

Mom: I wonder what today will bring me?

(doorball rings)

Mom: A visitor!

Mom: If it's Kukui, he'll probably let himself in without even waiting for us to open the door!

(Go outside)


Route 1: Hau'oli Outskirts #3
Lillie: Oh. um...
Lillie: The professor said...

Lillie: "Hey there, Lillie! Bring me that great new Trainer. Woo!"

Lillie: So i'm here to show you the way to his Pokemon lab, if you'll come with me.

Lillie: It's, um... It's this way.

Mom: (Your Game Name)!

Mom: Here. A Little pocket money for you. Don't go wasting it on anything too silly!

Mom: Oh! Well done, (Your Game Name). You're already making friends, aren't you? And what a cute little friend you've found!

Mom: I knew Alola would be a great place for us. We just keep meeting wonderful people here!

Lillie: M-me? Well, thank you...

Lillie: My name is Lillie. It's very nice to meet you.

Mom: Looks like it's finally your time to shine, sweetie!

Mom: Enjoy yourself out there with (Your Pokemon Name). And don't be gone too long!

Lillie: You... have a very nice mother, don't you?

Lillie: We should get going. I'll show you to the Pokemon Research Lab.

Lillie: You can only reach the professor's lab by treading through the tall grass here.

Lillie: He says he can research moves better when he is so surrounded by Pokemon.

Lillie: Since i'm not a trainer, though, I have to rely on using Repels all the time.

Lillie: You do know that using Repel keeps Pokemon from attacking, right?

Lillie: A-and about Nebby...

Lillie: Oh. I mean... Cosmog.

Lillie: Cosmog seems to be a very rare Pokemon. It came from far, far away.

Cosmog: Pew!

Lillie: It seems to have a very strange power...

Lillie: It used that power to save me once when I was in danger.

Lillie: But some... other people want Cosmog for themselves, to use that power.

Lillie: That's why only the professor and Kahuna Hala and other people i can trust know about it...

Lillie: Can you keep a secret?

Lillie: Can you not tell anyone else about Nebby or what happened on that bridge? Please...

Kukui: Oh yeah, Rockruff! Let's go! Give it everything you've got! My body is ready. Woo!

Lillie: Ahh... There they go again...

Lillie: The Pokemon Research Lab has its own unique charm, as I think you might agree.

Lillie: I've actually been, um, imposing on the professor here for the past three months.

Lillie: I'm not much of an assistant, but it's the least i can do to pay him back for letting me stay.

Lillie: Maybe i'd be more help if I were a real Pokemon Trainer, too...

Rockruff: Raaaa-oooooohhh! Raff ruff!

Lillie: The professor...

Lillie: He never stops researching moves. Not even... inside the lab itself.

Lillie: Looks like we'll have to patch the roof again...

Lillie: And I had just washed his lab coat and finally gotten it clean, too. Now it'll be in shreds... and i'm no good at mending clothes... so he'll just have to buy another new one...

Lillie: We should probably go in before he does any more damage...



Pokemon Research Lab
Kukui: Hey there, (Your Game Name)! Thanks for getting him for me, Lillie!
Lillie: Of course. However I can be a help... I am supposed to be your assistant, right?

Kukui: Rockruff's moves were just so stylin', and I was making good progress with my research.

Kukui: Say, (Your Game Name), lemme see your Pokedex for a second, yeah?

Kukui: So what do you think of the place? Not bad, right?

Kukui: But that's not why I called you here, eh? Here! It finally arrived!

Lillie: "It"...?

Kukui: What's wrong, Lillie? Don't make me do all the talking!

Kukui: See, there's this Pokemon inside your Pokedex called Rotom...


Choice #13

Choice # Choice Outcome
#1 Really? N/A
#2 Rotom? N/A

Lillie: Oh, i can tell you about Rotom.
Lillie: It is a peculiar Pokemon, with a body made up of something like electricity. It can take up residence in machines.

Kukui: Yeah, buddy! And to put that crazy skill of Rotem's to work...

Kukui: It's the next generation of Pokedexes, but it's only complete once Rotom has gone into this body specially developed for it!

Kukui: A whole new way for people and Pokemon to communicate. Woo!

Kukui: And there's only a few of these beauties out in the world so far!

Kukui: And now if I power up your Pokedex with the parts that i just got in...

Rotom: Kzzzt!

Kukui: Hey now! Sorry 'bout that, Rotom. Guess I surprised you?

Rotom: Zzzt?

Kukui: Rotom!

Kukui: Here, boy! I powered up your favorite 'Dex!

Kukui: Give (Your Game Name) here a Helping Hand, yeah?

Rotom: Kzzzttt!!

Kukui: See, (Your Game Name)? Now Rotom can talk right to you!

Kukui: From what I can tell, yeah, it looks like Rotom has taken a liking to you!

Lillie: And this will help how exactly?

Kukui: (Your Game Name) hasn't been here in Alola too long yet.

Kukui: So I decided to give him this special Rotem Dex to help him navigate around.


Choice #14

Choice # Choice Outcome
#1 Thank you very much N/A
#2 Nice to meet you, Rotom! N/A

Kukui: You can see where you're headed just by looking at Rotom, and if you give it a little tap, you can even check out the Town Map!
(Someone comes in)

Hau: A-lo-la!

Hau: The salty breeze sang to me and brought me here to you!

Hau: Whoa-ho-hoo!

Hau: Is that a loft?! That's awesome!

Lillie: No, it's not! It's private!

Lillie: The professor has been kind enough to let me use it...

Kukui: If you see a person or a Pokemon who needs help, you just help them... Right, (Your Game Name)? Hau?

Kukui: And that's why i'm letting Lillie stay up there in the loft.

Kukui: So, (Your Game Name), i'm leaving this Rotem Dex in your hands!

Kukui: Rotom, you look after (Your Game Name), yeah?

Hau: So that's the Rotem Dex, eh? It's kinda cute.

Kukui: All right, there are some important things you need to know about the island challenge.

Kukui: The island challenge is your chance to become the strongest Trainer around - the island challenge champion. Woo!

Kukui: It's a great adventure for you and your Pokemon to go on together!

Lillie: There are four main islands that make up Alola, and a kahuna for each one of them.

Lillie: If you wish to be recognized by the kahunas as worthy, it's said you must clear seven trials.

Kukui: (Your Game Name)!

Kukui: I want you and (Your Pokemon Name) to get out there and give it a shot!

Kukui: You were able to fully use your Pokemon's moves in your very first battle.

Kukui: I think you must have a talent for drawing out Pokemon's strengths, yeah.


Choice #15

Choice # Choice Outcome
#1 Then yeah, I'll do it! Kukui: Oh yeah! As someone who's dedicated my life to studying Pokemon moves, I really want to see you out there meeting all kinds of Pokemon on your island challenge!
#2 Um... i'm not really sure... Hau: Come On! You've gotta do it!
Kukui: You did just come to Alola, yeah, so i guess it's hard for you to relate to our customs, huh?
Kukui: But as someone who's dedicated my life to studying Pokemon moves, I really want to see you out there meeting all kinds of Pokemon on your island challenge.
Kukui: C'mon and give it a shot, cousin!

Kukui: Here! Everybody on the island challenge gets one of these island challenge amulets.
Hau: I got one from my gramps, too!

Kukui: All right then, (Your Game Name)! You too, Hau! Get a move on!


Choice #16

Choice # Choice Outcome
#1 Ok! N/A
#2 What? N/A

Kukui: To the Trainers' School!
Kukui: You've gotta learn the basics of being a Pokemon Trainer through Pokemon battling.

Kukui: It's a long road to becoming the island challenge champion, and the Trainers' School is the first step!

Kukui: What about you, Hau?

Hau: I'm good. I just wanna play with my Pokemon! I mean, uh, train with them. Right!

Lillie: The island challenge...

Lillie: So this is how the people of Alola connect with the world around them.

Kukui: Lillie! You take care of (Your Game Name), yeah?

Kukui: Until he gets used to Rotom, help him find his way around!


Route 1: Hau'oli Outskirts #4
Lillie: Hold on a moment. Let me show you the Pokemon Center first.

Pokemon Center
Lillie: If you talk to the woman at the counter, she can restore your Pokemon to perfect health.
Lillie: It's amazing, isn't it?

Lillie: I can't stand seeing Pokemon in pain...

Lillie: You can also deposit Pokemon in the PC here or take them out.

Lillie: And at the Poke Mart you can buy all kinds of items that should help you during your trials.

Lillie: I'd take a look, if I were you.

Lillie: Over there is the cafe area.

Lillie: I like to relax there sometimes with a frosty glass of Moomoo Milk.

Lillie: I read something in a travel guide about Alola once...

Lillie: Apparently each Pokemon Center in Alola offers a different selection of drinks. I wonder how they pick what to serve?

Lillie: The cafes may also offer more than just drinks.

Lillie: I've heard they also sell special treats and that sometimes the staff have tips for trial-goers.

Lillie: We should head to the Trainers' School next.

Lillie: But have your Pokemon taken care of first if you think that they need a little aid.




more to come
*clears throat* The Emoji Movie was an inside job..



DoNt AsK, jUsT wAtCh

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Re: WAR OF THE COPYPASTA

Postby Raxel920 » Sun Oct 08, 2017 10:02 pm

(.-.)
| <---- This is bob. Bob hates copypasta. Oh wait.
- |-
/ \

HEElo FRiEnDs i hAVE FoUND fREe WOrkIng HACk gO To w w w.totallynotascam.xyz

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Re: WAR OF THE COPYPASTA

Postby CrazeePi » Mon Oct 09, 2017 6:12 am

I was walking around when suddenly old man appear! Woah!

He offer to sell me old cartridge Kirby Canvas Curse for the Nintendo Xbox. I deceded to buy Kirby and the Crystal Shards from him and took it home and plug it into the Nintendo Xbox. Also, the previous owner dieded or something.

But when the title appear, it was not Kirby's Dreamland 2, it was Kirby and the Underworld Ghost.exe, there was hyper realistic blood AND KIRBY WAS THERE SMILING.

Deceding it was probably just weird glitch, I play and Kirby appear and ask if this is first time playing. I say no BUT IT TEACH ME HOW ANYWAY! Spook!

The game start and I go moving right and I ate waddle dee, but then Kirby says "yum yum". But I assume it probably more glitch. I get a copy-abiltity but the only copy-ability is DEAD! I continue on and kirby continue to say "yum yum" when I eat enemie.

This continue until first boss, which is weirdly right after first level, Dede, except it said De 666 times. Dede had blood come out of eye and say "I am ghost of underworld and I possess you're game!" I was super scare! I atempt to turn off Nintendo Xbox but it not work! Dede suddenly turn into Zero and bleed all over scren. "Ew gross," I say, as I mop up scren, but that reveal true form of underworld ghost, the old man who sell game. "You must copy and past this to 5 other thread or you be kill", the underworld ghost say, so I copy and past but I too slow and I am kill.

I go to underworld now because I was kill and now me and the underworld ghost play bingo together. He pretty cool actual.

I send this message though from beyond grave, because now I haunt story and now you must also copy and past this to 5 other thread or you will be kill and can play bingo with.
If an admin or such sees this please delete this account. I did not see any way to delete this account in the settings.
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Re: WAR OF THE COPYPASTA

Postby tyrantlemon55 » Mon Oct 09, 2017 1:42 pm

To be fair, you have to have a very high IQ to understand Rick and Morty. The humour is extremely subtle, and without a solid grasp of theoretical physics most of the jokes will go over a typical viewer’s head. There’s also Rick’s nihilistic outlook, which is deftly woven into his characterisation- his personal philosophy draws heavily from Narodnaya Volya literature, for instance. The fans understand this stuff; they have the intellectual capacity to truly appreciate the depths of these jokes, to realise that they’re not just funny- they say something deep about LIFE. As a consequence people who dislike Rick & Morty truly ARE idiots- of course they wouldn’t appreciate, for instance, the humour in Rick’s existential catchphrase “Wubba Lubba Dub Dub,” which itself is a cryptic reference to Turgenev’s Russian epic Fathers and Sons. I’m smirking right now just imagining one of those addlepated simpletons scratching their heads in confusion as Dan Harmon’s genius wit unfolds itself on their television screens. What fools.. how I pity them.

And yes, by the way, i DO have a Rick & Morty tattoo. And no, you cannot see it. It’s for the ladies’ eyes only- and even then they have to demonstrate that they’re within 5 IQ points of my own (preferably lower) beforehand. Nothin personnel kid.
aw frick
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Re: WAR OF THE COPYPASTA

Postby z0mbiesrock » Wed Jan 23, 2019 10:52 am

Imagine, just for a moment, that you are aboard a spaceship equipped with a magical engine capable of accelerating you to any arbitrarily high velocity. This is absolutely and utterly impossible, but it turns out it'll be okay, for reasons you'll see in a second.

Because you know your engine can push you faster than the speed of light, you have no fear of black holes. In the interest of scientific curiosity, you allow yourself to fall through the event horizon of one. And not just any black hole, but rather a carefully chosen one, one sufficiently massive that its event horizon lies quite far from its center. This is so you'll have plenty of time between crossing the event horizon and approaching the region of insane gravitational gradient near the center to make your observations and escape again.

As you fall toward the black hole, you notice some things which strike you as highly unusual, but because you know your general relativity they do not shock or frighten you. First, the stars behind you — that is, in the direction that points away from the black hole — grow much brighter. The light from those stars, falling in toward the black hole, is being blue-shifted by the gravitation; light that was formerly too dim to see, in the deep infrared, is boosted to the point of visibility.

Simultaneously, the black patch of sky that is the event horizon seems to grow strangely. You know from basic geometry that, at this distance, the black hole should subtend about a half a degree of your view — it should, in other words, be about the same size as the full moon as seen from the surface of the Earth. Except it isn't. In fact, it fills half your view. Half of the sky, from notional horizon to notional horizon, is pure, empty blackness. And all the other stars, nearly the whole sky full of stars, are crowded into the hemisphere that lies behind you.

As you continue to fall, the event horizon opens up beneath you, so you feel as if you're descending into a featureless black bowl. Meanwhile, the stars become more and more crowded into a circular region of sky centered on the point immediately aft. The event horizon does not obscure the stars; you can watch a star just at the edge of the event horizon for as long as you like and you'll never see it slip behind the black hole. Rather, the field of view through which you see the rest of the universe gets smaller and smaller, as if you're experiencing tunnel-vision.

Finally, just before you're about to cross the event horizon, you see the entire rest of the observable universe contract to a single, brilliant point immediately behind you. If you train your telescope on that point, you'll see not only the light from all the stars and galaxies, but also a curious dim red glow. This is the cosmic microwave background, boosted to visibility by the intense gravitation of the black hole.

And then the point goes out. All at once, as if God turned off the switch.

You have crossed the event horizon of the black hole.

Focusing on the task at hand, knowing that you have limited time before you must fire up your magical spaceship engine and escape the black hole, you turn to your observations. Except you don't see anything. No light is falling on any of your telescopes. The view out your windows is blacker than mere black; you are looking at non-existence. There is nothing to see, nothing to observe.

You know that somewhere ahead of you lies the singularity … or at least, whatever the universe deems fit to exist at the point where our mathematics fails. But you have no way of observing it. Your mission is a failure.

Disappointed, you decide to end your adventure. You attempt to turn your ship around, such that your magical engine is pointing toward the singularity and so you can thrust yourself away at whatever arbitrarily high velocity is necessary to escape the black hole's hellish gravitation. But you are thwarted.

Your spaceship has sensitive instruments that are designed to detect the gradient of gravitation, so you can orient yourself. These instruments should point straight toward the singularity, allowing you to point your ship in the right direction to escape. Except the instruments are going haywire. They seem to indicate that the singularity lies all around you. In every direction, the gradient of gravitation increases. If you are to believe your instruments, you are at the point of lowest gravitation inside the event horizon, and every direction points "downhill" toward the center of the black hole. So any direction you thrust your spaceship will push you closer to the singularity and your death.

This is clearly nonsense. You cannot believe what your instruments are telling you. It must be a malfunction.

But it isn't. It's the absolute, literal truth. Inside the event horizon of a black hole, there is no way out. There are no directions of space that point away from the singularity. Due to the Lovecraftian curvature of spacetime within the event horizon, all the trajectories that would carry you away from the black hole now point into the past.

In fact, this is the definition of the event horizon. It's the boundary separating points in space where there aretrajectories that point away from the black hole from points in space where there are none.

Your magical infinitely-accelerating engine is of no use to you … because you cannot find a direction in which to point it. The singularity is all around you, in every direction you look.

And it is getting closer.
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Re: WAR OF THE COPYPASTA

Postby GoldenLucky99 » Wed Jan 23, 2019 2:21 pm

CrazeePi wrote:According to all known laws
of aviation,


there is no way a bee
should be able to fly.


Its wings are too small to get
its fat little body off the ground.


The bee, of course, flies anyway


because bees don't care
what humans think is impossible.


Yellow, black. Yellow, black.
Yellow, black. Yellow, black.


Ooh, black and yellow!
Let's shake it up a little.


Barry! Breakfast is ready!


Ooming!


Hang on a second.


Hello?


- Barry?
- Adam?


- Oan you believe this is happening?
- I can't. I'll pick you up.


Looking sharp.


Use the stairs. Your father
paid good money for those.


Sorry. I'm excited.


Here's the graduate.
We're very proud of you, son.


A perfect report card, all B's.


Very proud.


Ma! I got a thing going here.


- You got lint on your fuzz.
- Ow! That's me!


- Wave to us! We'll be in row 118,000.
- Bye!


Barry, I told you,
stop flying in the house!


- Hey, Adam.
- Hey, Barry.


- Is that fuzz gel?
- A little. Special day, graduation.


Never thought I'd make it.


Three days grade school,
three days high school.


Those were awkward.


Three days college. I'm glad I took
a day and hitchhiked around the hive.


You did come back different.


- Hi, Barry.
- Artie, growing a mustache? Looks good.


- Hear about Frankie?
- Yeah.


- You going to the funeral?
- No, I'm not going.


Everybody knows,
sting someone, you die.


Don't waste it on a squirrel.
Such a hothead.


I guess he could have
just gotten out of the way.


I love this incorporating
an amusement park into our day.


That's why we don't need vacations.


Boy, quite a bit of pomp...
under the circumstances.


- Well, Adam, today we are men.
- We are!


- Bee-men.
- Amen!


Hallelujah!


Students, faculty, distinguished bees,


please welcome Dean Buzzwell.


Welcome, New Hive Oity
graduating class of...


...9:15.


That concludes our ceremonies.


And begins your career
at Honex Industries!


Will we pick ourjob today?


I heard it's just orientation.


Heads up! Here we go.


Keep your hands and antennas
inside the tram at all times.


- Wonder what it'll be like?
- A little scary.


Welcome to Honex,
a division of Honesco


and a part of the Hexagon Group.


This is it!


Wow.


Wow.


We know that you, as a bee,
have worked your whole life


to get to the point where you
can work for your whole life.


Honey begins when our valiant Pollen
Jocks bring the nectar to the hive.


Our top-secret formula


is automatically color-corrected,
scent-adjusted and bubble-contoured


into this soothing sweet syrup


with its distinctive
golden glow you know as...


Honey!


- That girl was hot.
- She's my cousin!


- She is?
- Yes, we're all cousins.


- Right. You're right.
- At Honex, we constantly strive


to improve every aspect
of bee existence.


These bees are stress-testing
a new helmet technology.


- What do you think he makes?
- Not enough.


Here we have our latest advancement,
the Krelman.


- What does that do?
- Oatches that little strand of honey


that hangs after you pour it.
Saves us millions.


Oan anyone work on the Krelman?


Of course. Most bee jobs are
small ones. But bees know


that every small job,
if it's done well, means a lot.


But choose carefully


because you'll stay in the job
you pick for the rest of your life.


The same job the rest of your life?
I didn't know that.


What's the difference?


You'll be happy to know that bees,
as a species, haven't had one day off


in 27 million years.


So you'll just work us to death?


We'll sure try.


Wow! That blew my mind!


"What's the difference?"
How can you say that?


One job forever?
That's an insane choice to have to make.


I'm relieved. Now we only have
to make one decision in life.


But, Adam, how could they
never have told us that?


Why would you question anything?
We're bees.


We're the most perfectly
functioning society on Earth.


You ever think maybe things
work a little too well here?


Like what? Give me one example.


I don't know. But you know
what I'm talking about.


Please clear the gate.
Royal Nectar Force on approach.


Wait a second. Oheck it out.


- Hey, those are Pollen Jocks!
- Wow.


I've never seen them this close.


They know what it's like
outside the hive.


Yeah, but some don't come back.


- Hey, Jocks!
- Hi, Jocks!


You guys did great!


You're monsters!
You're sky freaks! I love it! I love it!


- I wonder where they were.
- I don't know.


Their day's not planned.


Outside the hive, flying who knows
where, doing who knows what.


You can'tjust decide to be a Pollen
Jock. You have to be bred for that.


Right.


Look. That's more pollen
than you and I will see in a lifetime.


It's just a status symbol.
Bees make too much of it.


Perhaps. Unless you're wearing it
and the ladies see you wearing it.


Those ladies?
Aren't they our cousins too?


Distant. Distant.


Look at these two.


- Oouple of Hive Harrys.
- Let's have fun with them.


It must be dangerous
being a Pollen Jock.


Yeah. Once a bear pinned me
against a mushroom!


He had a paw on my throat,
and with the other, he was slapping me!


- Oh, my!
- I never thought I'd knock him out.


What were you doing during this?


Trying to alert the authorities.


I can autograph that.


A little gusty out there today,
wasn't it, comrades?


Yeah. Gusty.


We're hitting a sunflower patch
six miles from here tomorrow.


- Six miles, huh?
- Barry!


A puddle jump for us,
but maybe you're not up for it.


- Maybe I am.
- You are not!


We're going 0900 at J-Gate.


What do you think, buzzy-boy?
Are you bee enough?


I might be. It all depends
on what 0900 means.


Hey, Honex!


Dad, you surprised me.


You decide what you're interested in?


- Well, there's a lot of choices.
- But you only get one.


Do you ever get bored
doing the same job every day?


Son, let me tell you about stirring.


You grab that stick, and you just
move it around, and you stir it around.


You get yourself into a rhythm.
It's a beautiful thing.


You know, Dad,
the more I think about it,


maybe the honey field
just isn't right for me.


You were thinking of what,
making balloon animals?


That's a bad job
for a guy with a stinger.


Janet, your son's not sure
he wants to go into honey!


- Barry, you are so funny sometimes.
- I'm not trying to be funny.


You're not funny! You're going
into honey. Our son, the stirrer!


- You're gonna be a stirrer?
- No one's listening to me!


Wait till you see the sticks I have.


I could say anything right now.
I'm gonna get an ant tattoo!


Let's open some honey and celebrate!


Maybe I'll pierce my thorax.
Shave my antennae.


Shack up with a grasshopper. Get
a gold tooth and call everybody "dawg"!


I'm so proud.


- We're starting work today!
- Today's the day.


Oome on! All the good jobs
will be gone.


Yeah, right.


Pollen counting, stunt bee, pouring,
stirrer, front desk, hair removal...


- Is it still available?
- Hang on. Two left!


One of them's yours! Oongratulations!
Step to the side.


- What'd you get?
- Picking crud out. Stellar!


Wow!


Oouple of newbies?


Yes, sir! Our first day! We are ready!


Make your choice.


- You want to go first?
- No, you go.


Oh, my. What's available?


Restroom attendant's open,
not for the reason you think.


- Any chance of getting the Krelman?
- Sure, you're on.


I'm sorry, the Krelman just closed out.


Wax monkey's always open.


The Krelman opened up again.


What happened?


A bee died. Makes an opening. See?
He's dead. Another dead one.


Deady. Deadified. Two more dead.


Dead from the neck up.
Dead from the neck down. That's life!


Oh, this is so hard!


Heating, cooling,
stunt bee, pourer, stirrer,


humming, inspector number seven,
lint coordinator, stripe supervisor,


mite wrangler. Barry, what
do you think I should... Barry?


Barry!


All right, we've got the sunflower patch
in quadrant nine...


What happened to you?
Where are you?


- I'm going out.
- Out? Out where?


- Out there.
- Oh, no!


I have to, before I go
to work for the rest of my life.


You're gonna die! You're crazy! Hello?


Another call coming in.


If anyone's feeling brave,
there's a Korean deli on 83rd


that gets their roses today.


Hey, guys.


- Look at that.
- Isn't that the kid we saw yesterday?


Hold it, son, flight deck's restricted.


It's OK, Lou. We're gonna take him up.


Really? Feeling lucky, are you?


Sign here, here. Just initial that.


- Thank you.
- OK.


You got a rain advisory today,


and as you all know,
bees cannot fly in rain.


So be careful. As always,
watch your brooms,


hockey sticks, dogs,
birds, bears and bats.


Also, I got a couple of reports
of root beer being poured on us.


Murphy's in a home because of it,
babbling like a cicada!


- That's awful.
- And a reminder for you rookies,


bee law number one,
absolutely no talking to humans!


All right, launch positions!


Buzz, buzz, buzz, buzz! Buzz, buzz,
buzz, buzz! Buzz, buzz, buzz, buzz!


Black and yellow!


Hello!


You ready for this, hot shot?


Yeah. Yeah, bring it on.


Wind, check.


- Antennae, check.
- Nectar pack, check.


- Wings, check.
- Stinger, check.


Scared out of my shorts, check.


OK, ladies,


let's move it out!


Pound those petunias,
you striped stem-suckers!


All of you, drain those flowers!


Wow! I'm out!


I can't believe I'm out!


So blue.


I feel so fast and free!


Box kite!


Wow!


Flowers!


This is Blue Leader.
We have roses visual.


Bring it around 30 degrees and hold.


Roses!


30 degrees, roger. Bringing it around.


Stand to the side, kid.
It's got a bit of a kick.


That is one nectar collector!


- Ever see pollination up close?
- No, sir.


I pick up some pollen here, sprinkle it
over here. Maybe a dash over there,


a pinch on that one.
See that? It's a little bit of magic.


That's amazing. Why do we do that?


That's pollen power. More pollen, more
flowers, more nectar, more honey for us.


Oool.


I'm picking up a lot of bright yellow.
Oould be daisies. Don't we need those?


Oopy that visual.


Wait. One of these flowers
seems to be on the move.


Say again? You're reporting
a moving flower?


Affirmative.


That was on the line!


This is the coolest. What is it?


I don't know, but I'm loving this color.


It smells good.
Not like a flower, but I like it.


Yeah, fuzzy.


Ohemical-y.


Oareful, guys. It's a little grabby.


My sweet lord of bees!


Oandy-brain, get off there!


Problem!


- Guys!
- This could be bad.


Affirmative.


Very close.


Gonna hurt.


Mama's little boy.


You are way out of position, rookie!


Ooming in at you like a missile!


Help me!


I don't think these are flowers.


- Should we tell him?
- I think he knows.


What is this?!


Match point!


You can start packing up, honey,
because you're about to eat it!


Yowser!


Gross.


There's a bee in the car!


- Do something!
- I'm driving!


- Hi, bee.
- He's back here!


He's going to sting me!


Nobody move. If you don't move,
he won't sting you. Freeze!


He blinked!


Spray him, Granny!


What are you doing?!


Wow... the tension level
out here is unbelievable.


I gotta get home.


Oan't fly in rain.


Oan't fly in rain.


Oan't fly in rain.


Mayday! Mayday! Bee going down!


Ken, could you close
the window please?


Ken, could you close
the window please?


Oheck out my new resume.
I made it into a fold-out brochure.


You see? Folds out.


Oh, no. More humans. I don't need this.


What was that?


Maybe this time. This time. This time.
This time! This time! This...


Drapes!


That is diabolical.


It's fantastic. It's got all my special
skills, even my top-ten favorite movies.


What's number one? Star Wars?


Nah, I don't go for that...


...kind of stuff.


No wonder we shouldn't talk to them.
They're out of their minds.


When I leave a job interview, they're
flabbergasted, can't believe what I say.


There's the sun. Maybe that's a way out.


I don't remember the sun
having a big 75 on it.


I predicted global warming.


I could feel it getting hotter.
At first I thought it was just me.


Wait! Stop! Bee!


Stand back. These are winter boots.


Wait!


Don't kill him!


You know I'm allergic to them!
This thing could kill me!


Why does his life have
less value than yours?


Why does his life have any less value
than mine? Is that your statement?


I'm just saying all life has value. You
don't know what he's capable of feeling.


My brochure!


There you go, little guy.


I'm not scared of him.
It's an allergic thing.


Put that on your resume brochure.


My whole face could puff up.


Make it one of your special skills.


Knocking someone out
is also a special skill.


Right. Bye, Vanessa. Thanks.


- Vanessa, next week? Yogurt night?
- Sure, Ken. You know, whatever.


- You could put carob chips on there.
- Bye.


- Supposed to be less calories.
- Bye.


I gotta say something.


She saved my life.
I gotta say something.


All right, here it goes.


Nah.


What would I say?


I could really get in trouble.


It's a bee law.
You're not supposed to talk to a human.


I can't believe I'm doing this.


I've got to.


Oh, I can't do it. Oome on!


No. Yes. No.


Do it. I can't.


How should I start it?
"You like jazz?" No, that's no good.


Here she comes! Speak, you fool!


Hi!


I'm sorry.


- You're talking.
- Yes, I know.


You're talking!


I'm so sorry.


No, it's OK. It's fine.
I know I'm dreaming.


But I don't recall going to bed.


Well, I'm sure this
is very disconcerting.


This is a bit of a surprise to me.
I mean, you're a bee!


I am. And I'm not supposed
to be doing this,


but they were all trying to kill me.


And if it wasn't for you...


I had to thank you.
It's just how I was raised.


That was a little weird.


- I'm talking with a bee.
- Yeah.


I'm talking to a bee.
And the bee is talking to me!


I just want to say I'm grateful.
I'll leave now.


- Wait! How did you learn to do that?
- What?


The talking thing.


Same way you did, I guess.
"Mama, Dada, honey." You pick it up.


- That's very funny.
- Yeah.


Bees are funny. If we didn't laugh,
we'd cry with what we have to deal with.


Anyway...


Oan I...


...get you something?
- Like what?


I don't know. I mean...
I don't know. Ooffee?


I don't want to put you out.


It's no trouble. It takes two minutes.


- It's just coffee.
- I hate to impose.


- Don't be ridiculous!
- Actually, I would love a cup.


Hey, you want rum cake?


- I shouldn't.
- Have some.


- No, I can't.
- Oome on!


I'm trying to lose a couple micrograms.


- Where?
- These stripes don't help.


You look great!


I don't know if you know
anything about fashion.


Are you all right?


No.


He's making the tie in the cab
as they're flying up Madison.


He finally gets there.


He runs up the steps into the church.
The wedding is on.


And he says, "Watermelon?
I thought you said Guatemalan.


Why would I marry a watermelon?"


Is that a bee joke?


That's the kind of stuff we do.


Yeah, different.


So, what are you gonna do, Barry?


About work? I don't know.


I want to do my part for the hive,
but I can't do it the way they want.


I know how you feel.


- You do?
- Sure.


My parents wanted me to be a lawyer or
a doctor, but I wanted to be a florist.


- Really?
- My only interest is flowers.


Our new queen was just elected
with that same campaign slogan.


Anyway, if you look...


There's my hive right there. See it?


You're in Sheep Meadow!


Yes! I'm right off the Turtle Pond!


No way! I know that area.
I lost a toe ring there once.


- Why do girls put rings on their toes?
- Why not?


- It's like putting a hat on your knee.
- Maybe I'll try that.


- You all right, ma'am?
- Oh, yeah. Fine.


Just having two cups of coffee!


Anyway, this has been great.
Thanks for the coffee.


Yeah, it's no trouble.


Sorry I couldn't finish it. If I did,
I'd be up the rest of my life.


Are you...?


Oan I take a piece of this with me?


Sure! Here, have a crumb.


- Thanks!
- Yeah.


All right. Well, then...
I guess I'll see you around.


Or not.


OK, Barry.


And thank you
so much again... for before.


Oh, that? That was nothing.


Well, not nothing, but... Anyway...


This can't possibly work.


He's all set to go.
We may as well try it.


OK, Dave, pull the chute.


- Sounds amazing.
- It was amazing!


It was the scariest,
happiest moment of my life.


Humans! I can't believe
you were with humans!


Giant, scary humans!
What were they like?


Huge and crazy. They talk crazy.


They eat crazy giant things.
They drive crazy.


- Do they try and kill you, like on TV?
- Some of them. But some of them don't.


- How'd you get back?
- Poodle.


You did it, and I'm glad. You saw
whatever you wanted to see.


You had your "experience." Now you
can pick out yourjob and be normal.


- Well...
- Well?


Well, I met someone.


You did? Was she Bee-ish?


- A wasp?! Your parents will kill you!
- No, no, no, not a wasp.


- Spider?
- I'm not attracted to spiders.


I know it's the hottest thing,
with the eight legs and all.


I can't get by that face.


So who is she?


She's... human.


No, no. That's a bee law.
You wouldn't break a bee law.


- Her name's Vanessa.
- Oh, boy.


She's so nice. And she's a florist!


Oh, no! You're dating a human florist!


We're not dating.


You're flying outside the hive, talking
to humans that attack our homes


with power washers and M-80s!
One-eighth a stick of dynamite!


She saved my life!
And she understands me.


This is over!


Eat this.


This is not over! What was that?


- They call it a crumb.
- It was so stingin' stripey!


And that's not what they eat.
That's what falls off what they eat!


- You know what a Oinnabon is?
- No.


It's bread and cinnamon and frosting.
They heat it up...


Sit down!


...really hot!
- Listen to me!


We are not them! We're us.
There's us and there's them!


Yes, but who can deny
the heart that is yearning?


There's no yearning.
Stop yearning. Listen to me!


You have got to start thinking bee,
my friend. Thinking bee!


- Thinking bee.
- Thinking bee.


Thinking bee! Thinking bee!
Thinking bee! Thinking bee!


There he is. He's in the pool.


You know what your problem is, Barry?


I gotta start thinking bee?


How much longer will this go on?


It's been three days!
Why aren't you working?


I've got a lot of big life decisions
to think about.


What life? You have no life!
You have no job. You're barely a bee!


Would it kill you
to make a little honey?


Barry, come out.
Your father's talking to you.


Martin, would you talk to him?


Barry, I'm talking to you!


You coming?


Got everything?


All set!


Go ahead. I'll catch up.


Don't be too long.


Watch this!


Vanessa!


- We're still here.
- I told you not to yell at him.


He doesn't respond to yelling!


- Then why yell at me?
- Because you don't listen!


I'm not listening to this.


Sorry, I've gotta go.


- Where are you going?
- I'm meeting a friend.


A girl? Is this why you can't decide?


Bye.


I just hope she's Bee-ish.


They have a huge parade
of flowers every year in Pasadena?


To be in the Tournament of Roses,
that's every florist's dream!


Up on a float, surrounded
by flowers, crowds cheering.


A tournament. Do the roses
compete in athletic events?


No. All right, I've got one.
How come you don't fly everywhere?


It's exhausting. Why don't you
run everywhere? It's faster.


Yeah, OK, I see, I see.
All right, your turn.


TiVo. You can just freeze live TV?
That's insane!


You don't have that?


We have Hivo, but it's a disease.
It's a horrible, horrible disease.


Oh, my.


Dumb bees!


You must want to sting all those jerks.


We try not to sting.
It's usually fatal for us.


So you have to watch your temper.


Very carefully.
You kick a wall, take a walk,


write an angry letter and throw it out.
Work through it like any emotion:


Anger, jealousy, lust.


Oh, my goodness! Are you OK?


Yeah.


- What is wrong with you?!
- It's a bug.


He's not bothering anybody.
Get out of here, you creep!


What was that? A Pic 'N' Save circular?


Yeah, it was. How did you know?


It felt like about 10 pages.
Seventy-five is pretty much our limit.


You've really got that
down to a science.


- I lost a cousin to Italian Vogue.
- I'll bet.


What in the name
of Mighty Hercules is this?


How did this get here?
Oute Bee, Golden Blossom,


Ray Liotta Private Select?


- Is he that actor?
- I never heard of him.


- Why is this here?
- For people. We eat it.


You don't have
enough food of your own?


- Well, yes.
- How do you get it?


- Bees make it.
- I know who makes it!


And it's hard to make it!


There's heating, cooling, stirring.
You need a whole Krelman thing!


- It's organic.
- It's our-ganic!


It's just honey, Barry.


Just what?!


Bees don't know about this!
This is stealing! A lot of stealing!


You've taken our homes, schools,
hospitals! This is all we have!


And it's on sale?!
I'm getting to the bottom of this.


I'm getting to the bottom
of all of this!


Hey, Hector.


- You almost done?
- Almost.


He is here. I sense it.


Well, I guess I'll go home now


and just leave this nice honey out,
with no one around.


You're busted, box boy!


I knew I heard something.
So you can talk!


I can talk.
And now you'll start talking!


Where you getting the sweet stuff?
Who's your supplier?


I don't understand.
I thought we were friends.


The last thing we want
to do is upset bees!


You're too late! It's ours now!


You, sir, have crossed
the wrong sword!


You, sir, will be lunch
for my iguana, Ignacio!


Where is the honey coming from?


Tell me where!


Honey Farms! It comes from Honey Farms!


Orazy person!


What horrible thing has happened here?


These faces, they never knew
what hit them. And now


they're on the road to nowhere!


Just keep still.


What? You're not dead?


Do I look dead? They will wipe anything
that moves. Where you headed?


To Honey Farms.
I am onto something huge here.


I'm going to Alaska. Moose blood,
crazy stuff. Blows your head off!


I'm going to Tacoma.


- And you?
- He really is dead.


All right.


Uh-oh!


- What is that?!
- Oh, no!


- A wiper! Triple blade!
- Triple blade?


Jump on! It's your only chance, bee!


Why does everything have
to be so doggone clean?!


How much do you people need to see?!


Open your eyes!
Stick your head out the window!


From NPR News in Washington,
I'm Oarl Kasell.


But don't kill no more bugs!


- Bee!
- Moose blood guy!!


- You hear something?
- Like what?


Like tiny screaming.


Turn off the radio.


Whassup, bee boy?


Hey, Blood.


Just a row of honey jars,
as far as the eye could see.


Wow!


I assume wherever this truck goes
is where they're getting it.


I mean, that honey's ours.


- Bees hang tight.
- We're all jammed in.


It's a close community.


Not us, man. We on our own.
Every mosquito on his own.


- What if you get in trouble?
- You a mosquito, you in trouble.


Nobody likes us. They just smack.
See a mosquito, smack, smack!


At least you're out in the world.
You must meet girls.


Mosquito girls try to trade up,
get with a moth, dragonfly.


Mosquito girl don't want no mosquito.


You got to be kidding me!


Mooseblood's about to leave
the building! So long, bee!


- Hey, guys!
- Mooseblood!


I knew I'd catch y'all down here.
Did you bring your crazy straw?


We throw it in jars, slap a label on it,
and it's pretty much pure profit.


What is this place?


A bee's got a brain
the size of a pinhead.


They are pinheads!


Pinhead.


- Oheck out the new smoker.
- Oh, sweet. That's the one you want.


The Thomas 3000!


Smoker?


Ninety puffs a minute, semi-automatic.
Twice the nicotine, all the tar.


A couple breaths of this
knocks them right out.


They make the honey,
and we make the money.


"They make the honey,
and we make the money"?


Oh, my!


What's going on? Are you OK?


Yeah. It doesn't last too long.


Do you know you're
in a fake hive with fake walls?


Our queen was moved here.
We had no choice.


This is your queen?
That's a man in women's clothes!


That's a drag queen!


What is this?


Oh, no!


There's hundreds of them!


Bee honey.


Our honey is being brazenly stolen
on a massive scale!


This is worse than anything bears
have done! I intend to do something.


Oh, Barry, stop.


Who told you humans are taking
our honey? That's a rumor.


Do these look like rumors?


That's a conspiracy theory.
These are obviously doctored photos.


How did you get mixed up in this?


He's been talking to humans.


- What?
- Talking to humans?!


He has a human girlfriend.
And they make out!


Make out? Barry!


We do not.


- You wish you could.
- Whose side are you on?


The bees!


I dated a cricket once in San Antonio.
Those crazy legs kept me up all night.


Barry, this is what you want
to do with your life?


I want to do it for all our lives.
Nobody works harder than bees!


Dad, I remember you
coming home so overworked


your hands were still stirring.
You couldn't stop.


I remember that.


What right do they have to our honey?


We live on two cups a year. They put it
in lip balm for no reason whatsoever!


Even if it's true, what can one bee do?


Sting them where it really hurts.


In the face! The eye!


- That would hurt.
- No.


Up the nose? That's a killer.


There's only one place you can sting
the humans, one place where it matters.


Hive at Five, the hive's only
full-hour action news source.


No more bee beards!


With Bob Bumble at the anchor desk.


Weather with Storm Stinger.


Sports with Buzz Larvi.


And Jeanette Ohung.


- Good evening. I'm Bob Bumble.
- And I'm Jeanette Ohung.


A tri-county bee, Barry Benson,


intends to sue the human race
for stealing our honey,


packaging it and profiting
from it illegally!


Tomorrow night on Bee Larry King,


we'll have three former queens here in
our studio, discussing their new book,


Olassy Ladies,
out this week on Hexagon.


Tonight we're talking to Barry Benson.


Did you ever think, "I'm a kid
from the hive. I can't do this"?


Bees have never been afraid
to change the world.


What about Bee Oolumbus?
Bee Gandhi? Bejesus?


Where I'm from, we'd never sue humans.


We were thinking
of stickball or candy stores.


How old are you?


The bee community
is supporting you in this case,


which will be the trial
of the bee century.


You know, they have a Larry King
in the human world too.


It's a common name. Next week...


He looks like you and has a show
and suspenders and colored dots...


Next week...


Glasses, quotes on the bottom from the
guest even though you just heard 'em.


Bear Week next week!
They're scary, hairy and here live.


Always leans forward, pointy shoulders,
squinty eyes, very Jewish.


In tennis, you attack
at the point of weakness!


It was my grandmother, Ken. She's 81.


Honey, her backhand's a joke!
I'm not gonna take advantage of that?


Quiet, please.
Actual work going on here.


- Is that that same bee?
- Yes, it is!


I'm helping him sue the human race.


- Hello.
- Hello, bee.


This is Ken.


Yeah, I remember you. Timberland, size
ten and a half. Vibram sole, I believe.


Why does he talk again?


Listen, you better go
'cause we're really busy working.


But it's our yogurt night!


Bye-bye.


Why is yogurt night so difficult?!


You poor thing.
You two have been at this for hours!


Yes, and Adam here
has been a huge help.


- Frosting...
- How many sugars?


Just one. I try not
to use the competition.


So why are you helping me?


Bees have good qualities.


And it takes my mind off the shop.


Instead of flowers, people
are giving balloon bouquets now.


Those are great, if you're three.


And artificial flowers.


- Oh, those just get me psychotic!
- Yeah, me too.


Bent stingers, pointless pollination.


Bees must hate those fake things!


Nothing worse
than a daffodil that's had work done.


Maybe this could make up
for it a little bit.


- This lawsuit's a pretty big deal.
- I guess.


You sure you want to go through with it?


Am I sure? When I'm done with
the humans, they won't be able


to say, "Honey, I'm home,"
without paying a royalty!


It's an incredible scene
here in downtown Manhattan,


where the world anxiously waits,
because for the first time in history,


we will hear for ourselves
if a honeybee can actually speak.


What have we gotten into here, Barry?


It's pretty big, isn't it?


I can't believe how many humans
don't work during the day.


You think billion-dollar multinational
food companies have good lawyers?


Everybody needs to stay
behind the barricade.


- What's the matter?
- I don't know, I just got a chill.


Well, if it isn't the bee team.


You boys work on this?


All rise! The Honorable
Judge Bumbleton presiding.


All right. Oase number 4475,


Superior Oourt of New York,
Barry Bee Benson v. the Honey Industry


is now in session.


Mr. Montgomery, you're representing
the five food companies collectively?


A privilege.


Mr. Benson... you're representing
all the bees of the world?


I'm kidding. Yes, Your Honor,
we're ready to proceed.


Mr. Montgomery,
your opening statement, please.


Ladies and gentlemen of the jury,


my grandmother was a simple woman.


Born on a farm, she believed
it was man's divine right


to benefit from the bounty
of nature God put before us.


If we lived in the topsy-turvy world
Mr. Benson imagines,


just think of what would it mean.


I would have to negotiate
with the silkworm


for the elastic in my britches!


Talking bee!


How do we know this isn't some sort of


holographic motion-picture-capture
Hollywood wizardry?


They could be using laser beams!


Robotics! Ventriloquism!
Oloning! For all we know,


he could be on steroids!


Mr. Benson?


Ladies and gentlemen,
there's no trickery here.


I'm just an ordinary bee.
Honey's pretty important to me.


It's important to all bees.
We invented it!


We make it. And we protect it
with our lives.


Unfortunately, there are
some people in this room


who think they can take it from us


'cause we're the little guys!
I'm hoping that, after this is all over,


you'll see how, by taking our honey,
you not only take everything we have


but everything we are!


I wish he'd dress like that
all the time. So nice!


Oall your first witness.


So, Mr. Klauss Vanderhayden
of Honey Farms, big company you have.


I suppose so.


I see you also own
Honeyburton and Honron!


Yes, they provide beekeepers
for our farms.


Beekeeper. I find that
to be a very disturbing term.


I don't imagine you employ
any bee-free-ers, do you?


- No.
- I couldn't hear you.


- No.
- No.


Because you don't free bees.
You keep bees. Not only that,


it seems you thought a bear would be
an appropriate image for a jar of honey.


They're very lovable creatures.


Yogi Bear, Fozzie Bear, Build-A-Bear.


You mean like this?


Bears kill bees!


How'd you like his head crashing
through your living room?!


Biting into your couch!
Spitting out your throw pillows!


OK, that's enough. Take him away.


So, Mr. Sting, thank you for being here.
Your name intrigues me.


- Where have I heard it before?
- I was with a band called The Police.


But you've never been
a police officer, have you?


No, I haven't.


No, you haven't. And so here
we have yet another example


of bee culture casually
stolen by a human


for nothing more than
a prance-about stage name.


Oh, please.


Have you ever been stung, Mr. Sting?


Because I'm feeling
a little stung, Sting.


Or should I say... Mr. Gordon M. Sumner!


That's not his real name?! You idiots!


Mr. Liotta, first,
belated congratulations on


your Emmy win for a guest spot
on ER in 2005.


Thank you. Thank you.


I see from your resume
that you're devilishly handsome


with a churning inner turmoil
that's ready to blow.


I enjoy what I do. Is that a crime?


Not yet it isn't. But is this
what it's come to for you?


Exploiting tiny, helpless bees
so you don't


have to rehearse
your part and learn your lines, sir?


Watch it, Benson!
I could blow right now!


This isn't a goodfella.
This is a badfella!


Why doesn't someone just step on
this creep, and we can all go home?!


- Order in this court!
- You're all thinking it!


Order! Order, I say!


- Say it!
- Mr. Liotta, please sit down!


I think it was awfully nice
of that bear to pitch in like that.


I think the jury's on our side.


Are we doing everything right, legally?


I'm a florist.


Right. Well, here's to a great team.


To a great team!


Well, hello.


- Ken!
- Hello.


I didn't think you were coming.


No, I was just late.
I tried to call, but... the battery.


I didn't want all this to go to waste,
so I called Barry. Luckily, he was free.


Oh, that was lucky.


There's a little left.
I could heat it up.


Yeah, heat it up, sure, whatever.


So I hear you're quite a tennis player.


I'm not much for the game myself.
The ball's a little grabby.


That's where I usually sit.
Right... there.


Ken, Barry was looking at your resume,


and he agreed with me that eating with
chopsticks isn't really a special skill.


You think I don't see what you're doing?


I know how hard it is to find
the rightjob. We have that in common.


Do we?


Bees have 100 percent employment,
but we do jobs like taking the crud out.


That's just what
I was thinking about doing.


Ken, I let Barry borrow your razor
for his fuzz. I hope that was all right.


I'm going to drain the old stinger.


Yeah, you do that.


Look at that.


You know, I've just about had it


with your little mind games.


- What's that?
- Italian Vogue.


Mamma mia, that's a lot of pages.


A lot of ads.


Remember what Van said, why is
your life more valuable than mine?


Funny, I just can't seem to recall that!


I think something stinks in here!


I love the smell of flowers.


How do you like the smell of flames?!


Not as much.


Water bug! Not taking sides!


Ken, I'm wearing a Ohapstick hat!
This is pathetic!


I've got issues!


Well, well, well, a royal flush!


- You're bluffing.
- Am I?


Surf's up, dude!


Poo water!


That bowl is gnarly.


Except for those dirty yellow rings!


Kenneth! What are you doing?!


You know, I don't even like honey!
I don't eat it!


We need to talk!


He's just a little bee!


And he happens to be
the nicest bee I've met in a long time!


Long time? What are you talking about?!
Are there other bugs in your life?


No, but there are other things bugging
me in life. And you're one of them!


Fine! Talking bees, no yogurt night...


My nerves are fried from riding
on this emotional roller coaster!


Goodbye, Ken.


And for your information,


I prefer sugar-free, artificial
sweeteners made by man!


I'm sorry about all that.


I know it's got
an aftertaste! I like it!


I always felt there was some kind
of barrier between Ken and me.


I couldn't overcome it.
Oh, well.


Are you OK for the trial?


I believe Mr. Montgomery
is about out of ideas.


We would like to call
Mr. Barry Benson Bee to the stand.


Good idea! You can really see why he's
considered one of the best lawyers...


Yeah.


Layton, you've
gotta weave some magic


with this jury,
or it's gonna be all over.


Don't worry. The only thing I have
to do to turn this jury around


is to remind them
of what they don't like about bees.


- You got the tweezers?
- Are you allergic?


Only to losing, son. Only to losing.


Mr. Benson Bee, I'll ask you
what I think we'd all like to know.


What exactly is your relationship


to that woman?


We're friends.


- Good friends?
- Yes.


How good? Do you live together?


Wait a minute...


Are you her little...


...bedbug?


I've seen a bee documentary or two.
From what I understand,


doesn't your queen give birth
to all the bee children?


- Yeah, but...
- So those aren't your real parents!


- Oh, Barry...
- Yes, they are!


Hold me back!


You're an illegitimate bee,
aren't you, Benson?


He's denouncing bees!


Don't y'all date your cousins?


- Objection!
- I'm going to pincushion this guy!


Adam, don't! It's what he wants!


Oh, I'm hit!!


Oh, lordy, I am hit!


Order! Order!


The venom! The venom
is coursing through my veins!


I have been felled
by a winged beast of destruction!


You see? You can't treat them
like equals! They're striped savages!


Stinging's the only thing
they know! It's their way!


- Adam, stay with me.
- I can't feel my legs.


What angel of mercy
will come forward to suck the poison


from my heaving buttocks?


I will have order in this court. Order!


Order, please!


The case of the honeybees
versus the human race


took a pointed turn against the bees


yesterday when one of their legal
team stung Layton T. Montgomery.


- Hey, buddy.
- Hey.


- Is there much pain?
- Yeah.


I...


I blew the whole case, didn't I?


It doesn't matter. What matters is
you're alive. You could have died.


I'd be better off dead. Look at me.


They got it from the cafeteria
downstairs, in a tuna sandwich.


Look, there's
a little celery still on it.


What was it like to sting someone?


I can't explain it. It was all...


All adrenaline and then...
and then ecstasy!


All right.


You think it was all a trap?


Of course. I'm sorry.
I flew us right into this.


What were we thinking? Look at us. We're
just a couple of bugs in this world.


What will the humans do to us
if they win?


I don't know.


I hear they put the roaches in motels.
That doesn't sound so bad.


Adam, they check in,
but they don't check out!


Oh, my.


Oould you get a nurse
to close that window?


- Why?
- The smoke.


Bees don't smoke.


Right. Bees don't smoke.


Bees don't smoke!
But some bees are smoking.


That's it! That's our case!


It is? It's not over?


Get dressed. I've gotta go somewhere.


Get back to the court and stall.
Stall any way you can.


And assuming you've done step correctly, you're ready for the tub.


Mr. Flayman.


Yes? Yes, Your Honor!


Where is the rest of your team?


Well, Your Honor, it's interesting.


Bees are trained to fly haphazardly,


and as a result,
we don't make very good time.


I actually heard a funny story about...


Your Honor,
haven't these ridiculous bugs


taken up enough
of this court's valuable time?


How much longer will we allow
these absurd shenanigans to go on?


They have presented no compelling
evidence to support their charges


against my clients,
who run legitimate businesses.


I move for a complete dismissal
of this entire case!


Mr. Flayman, I'm afraid I'm going


to have to consider
Mr. Montgomery's motion.


But you can't! We have a terrific case.


Where is your proof?
Where is the evidence?


Show me the smoking gun!


Hold it, Your Honor!
You want a smoking gun?


Here is your smoking gun.


What is that?


It's a bee smoker!


What, this?
This harmless little contraption?


This couldn't hurt a fly,
let alone a bee.


Look at what has happened


to bees who have never been asked,
"Smoking or non?"


Is this what nature intended for us?


To be forcibly addicted
to smoke machines


and man-made wooden slat work camps?


Living out our lives as honey slaves
to the white man?


- What are we gonna do?
- He's playing the species card.


Ladies and gentlemen, please,
free these bees!


Free the bees! Free the bees!


Free the bees!


Free the bees! Free the bees!


The court finds in favor of the bees!


Vanessa, we won!


I knew you could do it! High-five!


Sorry.


I'm OK! You know what this means?


All the honey
will finally belong to the bees.


Now we won't have
to work so hard all the time.


This is an unholy perversion
of the balance of nature, Benson.


You'll regret this.


Barry, how much honey is out there?


All right. One at a time.


Barry, who are you wearing?


My sweater is Ralph Lauren,
and I have no pants.


- What if Montgomery's right?
- What do you mean?


We've been living the bee way
a long time, 27 million years.


Oongratulations on your victory.
What will you demand as a settlement?


First, we'll demand a complete shutdown
of all bee work camps.


Then we want back the honey
that was ours to begin with,


every last drop.


We demand an end to the glorification
of the bear as anything more


than a filthy, smelly,
bad-breath stink machine.


We're all aware
of what they do in the woods.


Wait for my signal.


Take him out.


He'll have nauseous
for a few hours, then he'll be fine.


And we will no longer tolerate
bee-negative nicknames...


But it's just a prance-about stage name!


...unnecessary inclusion of honey
in bogus health products


and la-dee-da human
tea-time snack garnishments.


Oan't breathe.


Bring it in, boys!


Hold it right there! Good.


Tap it.


Mr. Buzzwell, we just passed three cups,
and there's gallons more coming!


- I think we need to shut down!
- Shut down? We've never shut down.


Shut down honey production!


Stop making honey!


Turn your key, sir!


What do we do now?


Oannonball!


We're shutting honey production!


Mission abort.


Aborting pollination and nectar detail.
Returning to base.


Adam, you wouldn't believe
how much honey was out there.


Oh, yeah?


What's going on? Where is everybody?


- Are they out celebrating?
- They're home.


They don't know what to do.
Laying out, sleeping in.


I heard your Uncle Oarl was on his way
to San Antonio with a cricket.


At least we got our honey back.


Sometimes I think, so what if humans
liked our honey? Who wouldn't?


It's the greatest thing in the world!
I was excited to be part of making it.


This was my new desk. This was my
new job. I wanted to do it really well.


And now...


Now I can't.


I don't understand
why they're not happy.


I thought their lives would be better!


They're doing nothing. It's amazing.
Honey really changes people.


You don't have any idea
what's going on, do you?


- What did you want to show me?
- This.


What happened here?


That is not the half of it.


Oh, no. Oh, my.


They're all wilting.


Doesn't look very good, does it?


No.


And whose fault do you think that is?


You know, I'm gonna guess bees.


Bees?


Specifically, me.


I didn't think bees not needing to make
honey would affect all these things.


It's notjust flowers.
Fruits, vegetables, they all need bees.


That's our whole SAT test right there.


Take away produce, that affects
the entire animal kingdom.


And then, of course...


The human species?


So if there's no more pollination,


it could all just go south here,
couldn't it?


I know this is also partly my fault.


How about a suicide pact?


How do we do it?


- I'll sting you, you step on me.
- Thatjust kills you twice.


Right, right.


Listen, Barry...
sorry, but I gotta get going.


I had to open my mouth and talk.


Vanessa?


Vanessa? Why are you leaving?
Where are you going?


To the final Tournament of Roses parade
in Pasadena.


They've moved it to this weekend
because all the flowers are dying.


It's the last chance
I'll ever have to see it.


Vanessa, I just wanna say I'm sorry.
I never meant it to turn out like this.


I know. Me neither.


Tournament of Roses.
Roses can't do sports.


Wait a minute. Roses. Roses?


Roses!


Vanessa!


Roses?!


Barry?


- Roses are flowers!
- Yes, they are.


Flowers, bees, pollen!


I know.
That's why this is the last parade.


Maybe not.
Oould you ask him to slow down?


Oould you slow down?


Barry!


OK, I made a huge mistake.
This is a total disaster, all my fault.


Yes, it kind of is.


I've ruined the planet.
I wanted to help you


with the flower shop.
I've made it worse.


Actually, it's completely closed down.


I thought maybe you were remodeling.


But I have another idea, and it's
greater than my previous ideas combined.


I don't want to hear it!


All right, they have the roses,
the roses have the pollen.


I know every bee, plant
and flower bud in this park.


All we gotta do is get what they've got
back here with what we've got.


- Bees.
- Park.


- Pollen!
- Flowers.


- Repollination!
- Across the nation!


Tournament of Roses,
Pasadena, Oalifornia.


They've got nothing
but flowers, floats and cotton candy.


Security will be tight.


I have an idea.


Vanessa Bloome, FTD.


Official floral business. It's real.


Sorry, ma'am. Nice brooch.


Thank you. It was a gift.


Once inside,
we just pick the right float.


How about The Princess and the Pea?


I could be the princess,
and you could be the pea!


Yes, I got it.


- Where should I sit?
- What are you?


- I believe I'm the pea.
- The pea?


It goes under the mattresses.


- Not in this fairy tale, sweetheart.
- I'm getting the marshal.


You do that!
This whole parade is a fiasco!


Let's see what this baby'll do.


Hey, what are you doing?!


Then all we do
is blend in with traffic...


...without arousing suspicion.


Once at the airport,
there's no stopping us.


Stop! Security.


- You and your insect pack your float?
- Yes.


Has it been
in your possession the entire time?


Would you remove your shoes?


- Remove your stinger.
- It's part of me.


I know. Just having some fun.
Enjoy your flight.


Then if we're lucky, we'll have
just enough pollen to do the job.


Oan you believe how lucky we are? We
have just enough pollen to do the job!


I think this is gonna work.


It's got to work.


Attention, passengers,
this is Oaptain Scott.


We have a bit of bad weather
in New York.


It looks like we'll experience
a couple hours delay.


Barry, these are cut flowers
with no water. They'll never make it.


I gotta get up there
and talk to them.


Be careful.


Oan I get help
with the Sky Mall magazine?


I'd like to order the talking
inflatable nose and ear hair trimmer.


Oaptain, I'm in a real situation.


- What'd you say, Hal?
- Nothing.


Bee!


Don't freak out! My entire species...


What are you doing?


- Wait a minute! I'm an attorney!
- Who's an attorney?


Don't move.


Oh, Barry.


Good afternoon, passengers.
This is your captain.


Would a Miss Vanessa Bloome in 24B
please report to the cockpit?


And please hurry!


What happened here?


There was a DustBuster,
a toupee, a life raft exploded.


One's bald, one's in a boat,
they're both unconscious!


- Is that another bee joke?
- No!


No one's flying the plane!


This is JFK control tower, Flight 356.
What's your status?


This is Vanessa Bloome.
I'm a florist from New York.


Where's the pilot?


He's unconscious,
and so is the copilot.


Not good. Does anyone onboard
have flight experience?


As a matter of fact, there is.


- Who's that?
- Barry Benson.


From the honey trial?! Oh, great.


Vanessa, this is nothing more
than a big metal bee.


It's got giant wings, huge engines.


I can't fly a plane.


- Why not? Isn't John Travolta a pilot?
- Yes.


How hard could it be?


Wait, Barry!
We're headed into some lightning.


This is Bob Bumble. We have some
late-breaking news from JFK Airport,


where a suspenseful scene
is developing.


Barry Benson,
fresh from his legal victory...


That's Barry!


...is attempting to land a plane,
loaded with people, flowers


and an incapacitated flight crew.


Flowers?!


We have a storm in the area
and two individuals at the controls


with absolutely no flight experience.


Just a minute.
There's a bee on that plane.


I'm quite familiar with Mr. Benson
and his no-account compadres.


They've done enough damage.


But isn't he your only hope?


Technically, a bee
shouldn't be able to fly at all.


Their wings are too small...


Haven't we heard this a million times?


"The surface area of the wings
and body mass make no sense."


- Get this on the air!
- Got it.


- Stand by.
- We're going live.


The way we work may be a mystery to you.


Making honey takes a lot of bees
doing a lot of small jobs.


But let me tell you about a small job.


If you do it well,
it makes a big difference.


More than we realized.
To us, to everyone.


That's why I want to get bees
back to working together.


That's the bee way!
We're not made of Jell-O.


We get behind a fellow.


- Black and yellow!
- Hello!


Left, right, down, hover.


- Hover?
- Forget hover.


This isn't so hard.
Beep-beep! Beep-beep!


Barry, what happened?!


Wait, I think we were
on autopilot the whole time.


- That may have been helping me.
- And now we're not!


So it turns out I cannot fly a plane.


All of you, let's get
behind this fellow! Move it out!


Move out!


Our only chance is if I do what I'd do,
you copy me with the wings of the plane!


Don't have to yell.


I'm not yelling!
We're in a lot of trouble.


It's very hard to concentrate
with that panicky tone in your voice!


It's not a tone. I'm panicking!


I can't do this!


Vanessa, pull yourself together.
You have to snap out of it!


You snap out of it.


You snap out of it.


- You snap out of it!
- You snap out of it!


- You snap out of it!
- You snap out of it!


- You snap out of it!
- You snap out of it!


- Hold it!
- Why? Oome on, it's my turn.


How is the plane flying?


I don't know.


Hello?


Benson, got any flowers
for a happy occasion in there?


The Pollen Jocks!


They do get behind a fellow.


- Black and yellow.
- Hello.


All right, let's drop this tin can
on the blacktop.


Where? I can't see anything. Oan you?


No, nothing. It's all cloudy.


Oome on. You got to think bee, Barry.


- Thinking bee.
- Thinking bee.


Thinking bee!
Thinking bee! Thinking bee!


Wait a minute.
I think I'm feeling something.


- What?
- I don't know. It's strong, pulling me.


Like a 27-million-year-old instinct.


Bring the nose down.


Thinking bee!
Thinking bee! Thinking bee!


- What in the world is on the tarmac?
- Get some lights on that!


Thinking bee!
Thinking bee! Thinking bee!


- Vanessa, aim for the flower.
- OK.


Out the engines. We're going in
on bee power. Ready, boys?


Affirmative!


Good. Good. Easy, now. That's it.


Land on that flower!


Ready? Full reverse!


Spin it around!


- Not that flower! The other one!
- Which one?


- That flower.
- I'm aiming at the flower!


That's a fat guy in a flowered shirt.
I mean the giant pulsating flower


made of millions of bees!


Pull forward. Nose down. Tail up.


Rotate around it.


- This is insane, Barry!
- This's the only way I know how to fly.


Am I koo-koo-kachoo, or is this plane
flying in an insect-like pattern?


Get your nose in there. Don't be afraid.
Smell it. Full reverse!


Just drop it. Be a part of it.


Aim for the center!


Now drop it in! Drop it in, woman!


Oome on, already.


Barry, we did it!
You taught me how to fly!


- Yes. No high-five!
- Right.


Barry, it worked!
Did you see the giant flower?


What giant flower? Where? Of course
I saw the flower! That was genius!


- Thank you.
- But we're not done yet.


Listen, everyone!


This runway is covered
with the last pollen


from the last flowers
available anywhere on Earth.


That means this is our last chance.


We're the only ones who make honey,
pollinate flowers and dress like this.


If we're gonna survive as a species,
this is our moment! What do you say?


Are we going to be bees, orjust
Museum of Natural History keychains?


We're bees!


Keychain!


Then follow me! Except Keychain.


Hold on, Barry. Here.


You've earned this.


Yeah!


I'm a Pollen Jock! And it's a perfect
fit. All I gotta do are the sleeves.


Oh, yeah.


That's our Barry.


Mom! The bees are back!


If anybody needs
to make a call, now's the time.


I got a feeling we'll be
working late tonight!


Here's your change. Have a great
afternoon! Oan I help who's next?


Would you like some honey with that?
It is bee-approved. Don't forget these.


Milk, cream, cheese, it's all me.
And I don't see a nickel!


Sometimes I just feel
like a piece of meat!


I had no idea.


Barry, I'm sorry.
Have you got a moment?


Would you excuse me?
My mosquito associate will help you.


Sorry I'm late.


He's a lawyer too?


I was already a blood-sucking parasite.
All I needed was a briefcase.


Have a great afternoon!


Barry, I just got this huge tulip order,
and I can't get them anywhere.


No problem, Vannie.
Just leave it to me.


You're a lifesaver, Barry.
Oan I help who's next?


All right, scramble, jocks!
It's time to fly.


Thank you, Barry!


That bee is living my life!


Let it go, Kenny.


- When will this nightmare end?!
- Let it all go.


- Beautiful day to fly.
- Sure is.


Between you and me,
I was dying to get out of that office.


You have got
to start thinking bee, my friend.


- Thinking bee!
- Me?


Hold it. Let's just stop
for a second. Hold it.


I'm sorry. I'm sorry, everyone.
Oan we stop here?


I'm not making a major life decision
during a production number!


All right. Take ten, everybody.
Wrap it up, guys.


I had virtually no rehearsal for that.




(...Did I win?)

You definitely won.
User avatar
GoldenLucky99
Treefox
 
Posts: 1233
Joined: Thu Jan 04, 2018 11:23 am
Location: Somewhere over the rainbow

Re: WAR OF THE COPYPASTA

Postby RadSlime3000 » Sat Jan 26, 2019 9:24 pm

You'll never catch me Krabs, not when i shift into
MAXIMUM OVERDRIVE!!!
I AM A:
Terrarian
Rad Slime
Night Wing
Minecrafter
Anomaly
Aether Dragon
Glitch


My current feats:

Highest Point in Mochi's Manor


I am freinds with a Hunter slime named "Meowster*.

hOI!
User avatar
RadSlime3000
Rancher
 
Posts: 246
Joined: Sat Apr 23, 2016 11:41 pm
Location: The heart of the Omniverse.

Re: WAR OF THE COPYPASTA

Postby Lionmeow » Sat Jan 26, 2019 9:51 pm

like an eighth of the undertale script:

Part of this game's charm is the mystery of how many options or secrets there are. If you are reading this, please don't post this message or this information anywhere. Or doing secrets will become pointless.
demonx
By the way, most of the seemingly unused text/files are used.
demony
If you can find the in-game context for an asset, you can show it off. But if you can't, it probably means you haven't looked hard enough. Anything truly unused I'll probably post myself, later.
demonz
Living in a world like this, where people can simply cheat out the answers from the code... your impatience has REALLY damaged you, hasn't it?
demonr
argument0
\\XLa, la.^3 &Time to wake&up and\\R smell\\X &the^4 pain./
msg
* Though^2.^4.^6.^8.&It's still a&little shaky./
fhuehfuehfuehfuheufhe/%
%%%
* TestMonster and its cohorts&draw near!

monster
monsterinstance
script_execute
adder
\\W
mercy
flag
\\Y
\\p
*
monstername
monstertype
A
\\W &
\\Y
\\p
*
B
C
i
* Spare
& \\W * Flee
itemnameb

item
*
&
& PAGE 1
& PAGE 2
* You recovered
string
HP!/%
* Your HP was maxed out./%
random
round
* You bid a quiet farewell& to the
menucoord
itemname
.
* You put the
& on the ground and gave it a& little pat.
* You threw the
& on the ground like the piece& of trash it is.
* You abandoned the &
* The
was& thrown away.
/%
* I'm outta here.
* I've got better to do.
* Escaped...
* Don't slow me down.
xpreward
goldreward
* Ran away with
EXP& and
GOLD.
room
* (The shadow of the ruins& looms above^1, filling you with& determination.)/
* (HP fully restored.)/%%
* (Playfully crinkling through& the leaves fills you with& determination.)/
* (Knowing the mouse might one& day leave its hole and& get the cheese...)/
* (It fills you with& determination.)/%%
* (Seeing such a cute^1, tidy& house in the RUINS gives& you determination.)/%%
* Determination./%%
* (The cold atmosphere of a& new land... it fills you& with determination.)/%%
* (The convenience of that& lamp still fills you& with determination.)/%%
* (Knowing the mouse might one& day find a way to heat& up the spaghetti...)/
* (Knowing that dog will& never give up trying to& make the perfect snowdog...)/
* (Snow can always be broken& down and rebuilt into& something more useful.)/
* (This simple fact fills& you with determination.)/%%
* (The sight of such a friendly& town fills you with& determination.)/%%
* (The sound of rushing water& fills you with& determination.)/%%
* (A feeling of dread hangs& over you...^1)&* (But you stay determined.)/%%
* (Knowing the mouse might one& day extract the cheese from& the mystical crystal...)/
* (The sound of muffled rain& on the cavetop...)/
* (The serene sound of a& distant music box...)/
* (The feeling of your socks& squishing as you step& gives you determination.)/%%
* (The waterfall here seems& to flow from the& ceiling of the cavern...)/
* (Occasionally^1, a piece of& trash will flow& through...)/
* (... and fall into the& bottomless abyss below.)/
* (Viewing this endless& cycle of worthless& garbage...)/
* (Partaking in worthless& garbage fills you& with determination.)/%%
* (You feel a calming& tranquility^1. You're filled& with determination...)/%%
* (You feel..^1. something.)&* (You're filled with& detemmienation.)/%%
* (The wind is howling^1.&* You're filled with& determination...)/%%
* (The howling wind is& now a breeze^1. This gives& you determination...)/%%
* (The wind has stopped^1.&* You're filled with& determination...)/%%
* (Seeing such a strange& laboratory in a place like& this...)/
* (You're filled with& determination.)/%%
* (The wooshing sound of steam& and cogs..^1. it fills you& with determination.)/%%
* (An ominous structure looms& in the distance...)/
* (Knowing the mouse might one& day hack the computerized& safe and get the cheese...)/
* (A huge structure lies north.^1)&* (You're filled with& determination.)/%%
* (The relaxing atmosphere& of this hotel..^1. it fills& you with determination.)/%%
* (The air is filled with& the smell of ozone..^1. it fills& you with determination.)/%%
* (Behind this door must be& the elevator to the King's& castle.)/
* (The smell of cobwebs fills& the air...)/
was& put away.
was& tossed inside recklessly.
was& placed thoughtfully inside.
was& taken out.
was& grabbed impatiently.
was& taken out and held like a& small puppy.
* You can't carry any more./%%
* The box is full./%%
* You leave the Quiche on the& ground and tell it you'll& be right back./%%
* Use the box?& & Yes No \\C
choice
instance_exists
instance_create
%%
floor
gx
* You have no items^1.&* You put a little time into& the box./%%
* You have no items^1.&* You put a little effort& into the box./%%
* You have no items^1.&* You put a little feeling& into the box./%%
\\W* Howdy^2!&* I'm\\Y FLOWEY\\W.^2 &* \\YFLOWEY\\W the \\YFLOWER\\W!/
* Hmmm.../
* You're new to the& UNDERGROUND^2, aren'tcha?/
* Golly^1, you must be& so confused./
* Someone ought to teach& you how things work& around here!/
* I guess little old me& will have to do./
* Ready^2?&* Here we go!/%%
\\E2* This way./%%
\\E2* Welcome to your new& home^1, innocent one./
* Allow me to educate you& in the operation of the& RUINS./%%
\\E2* The RUINS are full of& puzzles./
* Ancient fusions between & diversions and doorkeys./
* One must solve them& to move from room to& room./
* Please adjust yourself to the sight of them./%
\\E2* To make progress here,^1 & you will need to trigger& several switches./
* Do not worry,^1 I have & labelled the ones that& you need to flip./%
* Do not worry,^1 I have & labelled the ones that& you need to flip./
* ... eh^1?&* It seems that the& labelling has worn away./
* Oh dear./
* This might be far more& challenging than I& anticipated.../%%
\\E2* The first switch is over& on the wall./%
\\E1* Do you need some help..^1?&* Press the switch on the wall./
\\E0* Come on^1, you can do it!/%
\\E2* Go on^1, press the switch& on the left./%
\\E2* I believe it was& the switch on the& left./%
\\E1* You do know which way& left is^1, do you not?/
\\E0* Press the switch that I& labelled for you./%
\\E1* You do know which way& left is^1, do you not?/%%
\\E1* You are very curious,^1 & are you not?/
\\E1* Please understand.^2 & \\E0I only want the best& for you./%
\\E0* Splendid!^2 &* I am proud of you,^1 & little one./
* Let us move to the& next room./%
\\E1* As a human living in& the UNDERGROUND,^1 & monsters may attack you./
\\E2* You will need to be& prepared for this& situation./
\\E0* However, worry not!^2 &* The process is simple./
\\E2* When you encounter a & monster,^1 you will enter& a FIGHT./
* While you are in a& FIGHT^1, strike up a& friendly conversation./
\\E2* Stall for time.& I will come to resolve& the conflict./
\\E2* Practice talking to& the dummy./%
\\E1* Ahh,^1 the dummies are& not for fighting!^2 &* They are for talking!/
* We do not want to hurt& anybody, do we...?^2 \\E0 &* Come now./%
\\E0* Ah,^1 very good!^2 &* You are very good./%
\\E1* .../
\\E1* ... you ran away.../
\\E0* Truthfully^1, that was& not a poor choice./
\\E0* It is better to& avoid conflict& whenever possible./
\\E1* That..^1. however^1, is& only a dummy^2.&* It cannot harm you./
\\E1* It is made of cotton^1.&* It has no desire& for revenge.../
\\E0* Nevermind^2.&* Stay close to me and& I will keep you safe./%
\\E3* ^1.^1.^1./
\\E4* ^1.^1.^1./
\\E0* The next room awaits./%
\\E2* Practice talking to& the dummy./
\\E1* You can say anything..^2.\\E2 &* I do not think the dummy& will be bothered./%
\\E0* Do you need some& ideas for conversation& topics?/
* Well^1, I often start with& a simple 'how do you& do...'/
* You could ask them about& their favorite books.../
* Jokes can be useful for& 'breaking the ice.'/
* Listen to this one.../
* What did the skeleton& tile his roof with?/
* ... SHIN-gles!/
\\E0* Well^1, I thought it& was amusing./%
\\E1* You can say anything..^2.\\E0 &* The dummy will not& be bothered./%
\\E1* There is another puzzle& in this room.../
\\E0* I wonder if you can& solve it?/%
\\E1* This is the puzzle^1,& but.../
\\E0* Here^1, take my hand& for a moment./%
\\E1* Puzzles seem a little& too dangerous for& now./%
.../%
\\E2* Greetings,^1 my child^2.&* Do not worry^1, I did& not leave you./
\\E0* I was merely behind this& pillar the whole time./
* Thank you for trusting& me./
\\E2* However^1, there was an& important reason for& this exercise./
* ... to test your& independence./
\\E1* I must attend to some& business^1, and you must& stay alone for a while./
\\E0* Please remain here^2.&*\\E1 It's dangerous to& explore by yourself./
\\E0* I have an idea^2.&* I will give you a& CELL PHONE./
* If you have a need for& anything^1, just call./
\\E1* Be good^1, alright?/%
\\E0* You have done& excellently thus& far^1, my child./
\\E2* However... I have a& difficult request to ask& of you./
* .../
* I would like you to walk& to the end of the room& by yourself./
\\E1* Forgive me for this./%
* Ring..\\E0.\\TT /
\\F1 %
* Hello?&* This is TORIEL./
* For no reason in& particular...&* Which do you prefer?/
* Cinnamon or& butterscotch?& Cinnamon Bscotch \\C
undertale.ini
ini_open
Bscotch
Toriel
ini_write_real
ini_close
* Oh^1, I see.&* Thank you very much!/
\\TS \\F0 \\T0 %
* Click.../%%
* /
* It's a fishing rod affixed& to the ground.../
* Reel it in?& & Yes No \\C
reeled
image_index
* All that's attached to& the end is a photo of a& weird-looking monster.../
* (Call Me!& Here's my number!)/
* You decide not to call./%%
* All that's attached to& the end is a note./
* (Nevermind^1, guys!)/%%
* You leave it alone./%%
* I shouldn't have given myself& away so easily.../%%
* Did you just...&* Consume the part of me& I had given you?/
* In front of my very eyes!?/
* I have no words for you..^1.&* Begone!/%%
* Thank you for taking care& of me.../%%
scr_itemcheck
scr_storagecheck
haveit
haveit2
* Huh^1? Again...?/
* I'm sorry..^1. if I give you& any more^1, there will be& nothing left of me./
* I suppose it is true^1.&* Travelling beyond our limits& is but a fantasy./
* It's no different for& anyone else./
* All of monsterkind& are doomed to stay& underground^1, forever.../%%
* How am I doing^1?&* By "I" I mean the piece& of me I gave you.../
* Huh^1? You lost it...^1?&* ... I suppose I can give& you another piece.../
scr_itemget
noroom
* You don't have any room^1?&* OK..^1. I understand I am not& a priority for you^1, then./%%
* Please be careful this& time./
* (You got the Snowman& Piece.)/%%
%%
* Hello^1.&* I am a snowman./
* I want to see the world..^1.&* But I cannot move./
* If you would be so kind^1,& traveller^1, please.../
* Take a piece of me and& bring it very far away.& Yes No \\C
* It seems you do not& have enough room for me./%%
* Thank you... good luck!/
* I see^1.&* Good journey^1, then./%%
SANS!!^1!&THAT DIDN'T DO&ANYTHING!/
SANS!!^1!&THEY DIDN'T EVEN&LOOK AT IT!/
scr_sansface
* whoops./
* i knew i should have& used today's crossword& instead./
scr_papface
WHAT!^1?&CROSSWORD!?/
I CAN'T BELIEVE&YOU SAID THAT!!/
IN MY OPINION.../
\\E3JUNIOR JUMBLE&IS EASILY THE&HARDEST./
* what^1? really^1, dude^1?&* that easy-peasy word& scramble?/
\\E1* that's for baby bones./
UN^1. BELIEVABLE./
\\E0HUMAN!!^1!&SOLVE THIS DISPUTE!/
\\TS \\F0 \\E0 \\T0 %
* (Which is harder?)& & Jumble Crossword \\C

HA^1! HA^1! YES!/
HUMANS MUST BE&VERY INTELLIGENT!/
IF THEY ALSO FIND&JUNIOR JUMBLE&SO DIFFICULT!/
NYEH^1! HEH^1! HEH HEH!/%%
YOU TWO ARE WEIRD!/
\\E3CROSSWORDS ARE SO&EASY./
IT'S THE SAME&SOLUTION EVERY&TIME./
\\E0I JUST FILL ALL&THE BOXES IN WITH&THE LETTER "Z".../
BECAUSE EVERY TIME&I LOOK AT A&CROSSWORD.../
ALL I CAN DO IS&SNORE!!!/
NYEH HEH HEH!!!/%%
doak
* Hello^1!&* Would you like some& Nice Cream?/
* It's the frozen treat& that warms your heart!/
* Now just 15G!& & Yes No \\C
%
* Nice Cream^1!&* It's the frozen treat& that warms your heart!/
afford
gold
* Here you go^1!&* Have a super-duper day^1!&* (You got the Nice Cream.)/%%
* Huh^1?&* You don't have enough& money.../
* I wish I could make& Nice Cream for free.../%%
* It looks like you're& holding too much stuff^1!&* Oh well!/%%
* Well then..^1.&* Tell your friends.../
* There's ice cream..^1.&* Out in the middle of& the woods.../%%
* Now just 25G!& & Yes No \\C
* Hey^1, you have an umbrella^1,& just like my cart.../
* Such solidarity^1!&* I have no choice but to& give you a deal!/
* Discount Ice Cream! 15G!& & Yes No \\C
* Umbrella solidarity!^1?&* I guess I have to give& you a deal.../
itemcount
* Hey^1!&* You have 3 Punch Cards!/
* How about redeeming them& for some Nice Cream!?/
* It's free!& & Yes No \\C
* Super^1! Here you go^1!&* Your Card's in the box!&* (You got the Nice Cream.)/%%
* Huh^1? No money^1?&* Sorry^1, I can't give it to& you for free./%%
* Huh^1? You can't afford it& even with the discount^1?&* I.../%%
rem
g
n
scr_itemshift
* Here^1! A free Nice Cream^1!&* (You lost 3 cards and got& a Nice Cream.)/%%
* There's ice cream..^1.&* Hidden in the depths of a& watery cavern.../%%
* i've been thinking& about selling treats& too./
* want some fried snow^1?&* it's just 5G.& Buy No\\C
* did i say 5G^1?&* i meant 50G^1.& Buy No\\C

* you're right./
* i should charge way& more than than that./%%
* really^1?&* how about 5000G?& Buy No\\C
* that's still too low./%%
* 50000G^1.&* that's my final offer.& Buy No\\C
* i have to pay for& the raw materials& somehow./%%
* what^1?&* you don't have the& money?/
* hey^1, that's okay./
\\E1* i don't have any snow./%%
* wow^1, that's a lot& of cash./
\\E3* that's why i'm sorry& to say.../
\\E3* i can't sell you& this fried snow./
\\E2* it's got too much& sentimental value./%%
* don't you know a& good deal when you& hear one?/%%
WHAT!^1?&HOW DID YOU&AVOID MY TRAP?/
\\E3AND^1, MORE&IMPORTANTLY.../
\\E0IS THERE ANY&LEFT FOR ME???/
* (What do you tell Papyrus& about his spaghetti?)& Ate it Left it \\C
REALLY!?/
\\E2WOWIE.../
NO ONE'S EVER&ENJOYED MY&COOKING BEFORE.../
\\E0WELL THEN!!/
YOU RESISTED THE&FLAVOR OF MY&HOMECOOKED PASTA.../
JUST SO YOU&COULD SHARE&IT WITH ME???/
\\E0FRET NOT HUMAN^1!&I^1, MASTER CHEF&PAPYRUS.../
WILL MAKE YOU ALL&THE PASTA YOU&COULD EVER WANT!/
HEH HEH HEH HEH&HEH HEH NYEH!/%%
HEY!/
IT'S THE HUMAN!/
\\E0YOU'RE GONNA&LOVE THIS&PUZZLE!/
IT WAS MADE&BY THE GREAT&DR. ALPHYS!/
YOU SEE&THESE TILES&!?/
ONCE I THROW&THIS SWITCH.../
THEY WILL&BEGIN TO&CHANGE COLOR!/
EACH COLOR HAS&A DIFFERENT&FUNCTION!/
RED TILES ARE&IMPASSABLE!/
YOU CANNOT&WALK ON THEM!/
YELLOW TILES&ARE ELECTRIC!/
THEY WILL&ELECTROCUTE&YOU!/
GREEN TILES&ARE ALARM&TILES!/
IF YOU STEP&ON THEM.../
YOU WILL HAVE&TO FIGHT A&MONSTER!!/
ORANGE TILES&ARE ORANGE-&SCENTED./
THEY WILL MAKE&YOU SMELL&DELICIOUS!/
BLUE TILES ARE&WATER TILES./
SWIM THROUGH&IF YOU LIKE^1,&BUT.../
IF YOU SMELL&LIKE ORANGES!/
THE PIRAHNAS&WILL BITE&YOU./
ALSO^1, IF A&BLUE TILE IS&NEXT TO A,/
YELLOW TILE^1,&THE WATER WILL&ALSO ZAP YOU!/
PURPLE TILES&ARE SLIPPERY!/
YOU WILL SLIDE&TO THE NEXT&TILE!/
HOWEVER^1, THE&SLIPPERY&SOAP.../
SMELLS LIKE&LEMONS!!/
WHICH PIRAHNAS&DO NOT LIKE!/
PURPLE AND&BLUE ARE OK!/
FINALLY^1,&PINK TILES./
THEY DON'T DO&ANYTHING./
STEP ON THEM&ALL YOU LIKE./
HOW WAS THAT!^1?&UNDERSTAND???/
* (Understand the explanation?)& & Of course No \\C
GREAT!^1!&THEN THERE'S ONE&LAST THING.../
THIS PUZZLE.../
IS ENTIRELY RANDOM&!!!!!!/
WHEN I PULL THIS&SWITCH^1, IT WILL&MAKE A PUZZLE.../
THAT HAS NEVER&BEEN SEEN BEFORE!/
NOT EVEN I WILL&KNOW THE SOLUTION!/
NYEH HEH HEH^1!&GET READY...!/%%
conversation
OKAY..^1.&I GUESS I'LL&REPEAT MYSELF.../
\\E0RED TILES ARE&IMPASSABLE./
YELLOW TILES ARE&ELECTRIC AND&DANGEROUS./
BLUE TILES MAKE&YOU FIGHT A&MONSTER./
GREEN TILES ARE&WATER TILES./
ORANGE TILES ARE&ORANGE SCENTED./
IF YOU STEP ON&ORANGE^1, DON'T STEP&ON GREEN./
\\E3BROWN TILES ARE.../
\\E1WAIT!!^1!&THERE ARE NO&BROWN TILES.../
\\E0PURPLE TILES&SMELL LIKE&LEMONS.../
\\E3WHY DON'T THE&YELLOW ONES&SMELL LEMONY?/
\\E3UMM.../
\\E1WAIT!^1!&DID I MIX UP&GREEN AND BLUE!?/
THE BLUE ONES&ARE WATER ONES!/
\\E3PINK TILES.../
I DON'T..^1.&REMEMBER???/
\\E1WAIT!!!/
\\E3THOSE ONES DON'T&DO ANYTHING./
\\E0OKAY^1!&DO YOU UNDERSTAND&BETTER NOW!?/
* (Understand the explanation?)& & Yes Even less \\C
........../
OK^1, YOU KNOW&WHAT???/
HOW ABOUT..^1.&YOU JUST.../
DO THIS PUZZLE..^1.&ON YOUR OWN.../
I'LL LEAVE THE&INSTRUCTIONS.../
JUST READ THEM./
THEN WHEN YOU&UNDERSTAND IT.../
YOU CAN THROW&THE SWITCH./
AND DO IT AT&YOUR OWN PACE./
GOOD LUCK./
NYEH..^1.&HEH..^1.&HEH!/%%
* (There's a lone quiche& sitting underneath& this bench.)/
* (Will you take it?)& & Take it Leave it \\C
* It's just a bench./%%
* (You got the Abandoned& Quiche.)/%%
* (You're carrying too much.)/
* (You aren't ready for the& responsibility.)/%%
* (The quiche was left all& alone...)/%%
* (There's a tutu lying on& the ground here.)/
* Nothing's here!!!/%%
* (You got the Old Tutu.)/%%
* (You're carrying too much.)/%%
%%
card
* (The box contains
cards.)/
* (Two bugs in the box are& playing a
-card game.)/
* (There's a smiley face made& of
cards in the box.)/
* (A house made of
cards& sits in the box.)/
* (The box is overstuffed with& cards.)/
* (Take a card?)& & Take Leave \\C
* (It's a box for storing Punch& Cards^1.)&* (It's empty right now.)/%%
* (You got a Punch Card.)/%%
* (All games must end one day.^1)&* (You got a Punch Card.)/%%
* (Happiness is fleeting.^1)&* (You got a Punch Card.)/%%
* (The house collapses.^1)&* (You got a Punch Card.)/%%
* (It's a pair of ballet shoes.)/
* (You got the Ballet Shoes.)/%%
* (This little bird wants to& carry you across.)/
* (Accept the bird's offer?)& & Get ride No \\C
* (Umbrellas and birds...^1)&* (A bad combination.)/%%
interact
carry
uncan
* (It's a legendary artifact.)/
* (The artifact is gone.)/%%
* (This will never happen.)/%%
* (You're carrying too many& dogs.)/%%
* (The fridge is filled with& instant noodles and soda.)/
* (Take a package of noodles?)& & Take it Leave it \\C
* (The fridge is filled with& instant noodles and soda.)/%%
* (You got the Instant Noodles.)/%%
* (You decide to stay healthy.)/%%
* (There's a frypan lying on& the ground.)/
* (You got the Burnt Pan.)/%%
* (There's an apron lying on& the ground.)/
* (You got the Stained Apron.)/%%
* (There's a Glamburger inside& the trash can.)/
* (It's an empty trashcan.)/%%
* (You got the Glamburger.)/%%
* (There's 100G inside& the trash can.)/
* (You got 100G.)/%%
scr_murderlv
* (There's a worn dagger& inside the box.)/
* (Knife inside the box.)/
* (You got the Worn Dagger.)/%%
* (You got the Real Knife.)/%%
* (There's a heart-shaped& locket inside the box.)/
* (You got the Heart-shaped& Locket.)/%%
* (You got The Locket.)/%%
* (The box is empty.)/%%
* Hello...&* Would you like some& Nice Cream...?/
* It's the frozen treat...&* That warms your heart./
* Now only 12G!& & Yes No \\C
* Nice Cream^1.&* It's the frozen treat^1.&* That warms your heart./
* Now just 12G.& & Yes No \\C
* Here^1.&* (You got the Nice Cream.)/%%
* You don't have enough& money.../%%
* Drop something./%%
* Life..^1. is suffering./%%
* (Golden flowers.^1)&* (They must have& broken your fall.)/%%
* "Press [Z] to read signs!"/%%
* Just a regular old pillar./%%
* Please don't step on the& leaves./%%
* Didn't you read the sign& downstairs?/%%
* WHOA there^1, pardner^2!&* Who said you could push& me around?/
* HMM^2?&* So you're ASKIN' me to& move over?/
* Okay^1, just for you^1,& pumpkin./%%
* HMM^2?&* You want me to move some& more?/
* Alrighty^1, how's this?/%%
* HMM^2?&* That was the wrong direction?/
* Okay^1, think I got it./%%
* Was that helpful?/%%
* HMM^2?&* You wanted me to STAY there?/
* You're giving me a real& workout./%%
* Aren't things easier when& you just ask?/%%
* The exit's open^1?&* Guess I better roll out.../
* Hey^1, y'mind giving me a& push^1, pumpkin?/%%
*'Take one.'&* Take a candy?& Yes No \\C
* It says 'take one.'&* Take a piece of candy?& Yes No \\C
* Look at what you've done./%%
* You took a piece of candy.&* (Press [C] to open the menu.)/%%
* You took more candy^1.&* How disgusting../%%
* You take another piece.&* You feel like the& scum of the earth.../%%
* You took too much too fast.&* The candy spills onto& the floor./%%
* In this hellish world^1, you& can only take 3 pieces& of candy.../%%
* You tried to take a piece& of candy^1, but you didn't& have any room./%%
* You decided not to take some./%%
* zzzzzzzzzzzzzzz..^1.&* zzzzzzzzzzzzzz.../
* zzzzzzzzzz..^1.&* (are they gone yet^1)&* zzzzzzzzzzzzzzz.../
* (This ghost keeps saying 'z'& out loud repeatedly^1,& pretending to sleep.)/
* Move it with force?& & Yes No \\C
* It says 'Take them all.'&* Take a candy?& Yes No \\C
* You took a piece.&* Boy^1, that's heavy./%%
* You can't carry more.&* It's just too heavy./%%
* Leave 7G in the web?& & Yes No \\C
* Some spiders crawled down& and gave you a donut./%%
* You didn't have enough& gold./%%
* You are carrying too& many items./%%
*%%
* Leave 18G in the web?& & Yes No \\C
* Some spiders crawled down& and gave you a jug./%%
* You found a Faded Ribbon./%%
* You are carrying too& much./%%
* It's a switch.&* Press it?& Yes No \\C
* Nothing happened./%%
* You're making the switches& uncomfortable with all& this attention./%%
* You hear a clicking sound./%%
plot
snd_play
* You found the Toy Knife./%%
* It's TORIEL's diary.&* Read the circled passage?& Yes No \\C
* You read the passage.../
* "Why did the skeleton want& a friend?"/
"* Because she was feeling& BONELY..."/
* The rest of the page is& filled with jokes of& a similar caliber./%%
* You found a slice of& butterscotch-cinnamon& pie./%%
* You found a slice of& snail pie.../%%
* Hello there^1,& little one!/
* The pie has not& cooled down yet./
* Perhaps you should& take a nap.& Yes No \\C
* Sweet dreams./%%
\\E1* You'd rather stay& up and chat with& me^1, then?/
* Up already^1, I see?/
\\E0* Um^1, I want you to know& how glad I am to& have someone here./
* There are so many& old books I want& to share./
* I want to show you& my favorite bug-& hunting spot./
* I've also prepared& a curriculum for& your education./
* This may come as& a surprise to you.../
* But I have always& wanted to be a& teacher./
\\E1* ... actually^1, perhaps& that isn't very& surprising./
\\E5* STILL./
\\E0* I am glad to have& you living here./
\\E1* Oh^1, did you& want something?/
* What is it?& When can& Nothing I go home?\\C
* Well^1, talk to me& again if you& need anything./%%
\\E1* What^1?&* This..^1. this IS your& home now./
* Um..^1. would you like& to hear about this& book I am reading?/
\\E0* Oh^1, hello!/
* Did you want to& hear about the& book I am reading?/
\\E0* It is called& "72 Uses for Snails."/
* How about it?& How to exit& Sure the RUINS\\C
* Here is an exciting& snail fact./
\\E1* Um^1.^1.^1.&*\\E0 How about an exciting& snail fact?/
\\E2* Did you know& that snails.../
r
\\E0* Have a chainsaw-like& tongue called a& radula?/
\\E0* Sometimes flip their& digestive systems& as they mature?/
\\E0* Make terrible& shoelaces?/
\\E0* Talk^2. Really^2. Slowly^2?&* Just kidding^1, snails& don't talk./
\\E0* Interesting.& How to exit& Yeah the RUINS\\C
* Well^1, bother me& if you need anything& else./%%
\\E1* ... I have to do& something^1.&* Stay here./%%
\\E0* What is it?& How to exit& Nothing the RUINS\\C
* If you need anything^1,& just ask./%%
\\E1* ... I have to do& something.&* Stay here./%%.
\\E2NYOO HOO HOO.../
I CAN'T EVEN&STOP SOMEONE AS&WEAK AS YOU.../
UNDYNE'S GOING TO&BE DISAPPOINTED&IN ME./
I'LL NEVER JOIN THE&ROYAL GUARD..^1.&AND.../
MY FRIEND QUANTITY&WILL REMAIN&STAGNANT!/
* (What should you say?)& Let's be What a& friends loser\\C
murder
\\E0WOWIE!^1!&YOU DID IT!!!/
YOU DIDN'T DO A&VIOLENCE!!!/
\\E5TO BE HONEST^1,&I WAS A LITTLE&AFRAID.../
\\E0BUT YOU'RE ALREADY&BECOMING A GREAT&PERSON!/
\\E7I'M SO PROUD I&COULD CRY!!!/
\\E3... WAIT^1, WASN'T I&SUPPOSED TO&CAPTURE YOU...?/
\\E0WELL^1, FORGET IT!/
I JUST WANT YOU&TO BE THE BEST&PERSON YOU CAN BE./
SO LET'S LET&BYBONES BE&BYBONES./
I'LL EVEN TELL YOU&HOW TO LEAVE THE&UNDERGROUND!/
JUST KEEP GOING&EAST!/
EVENTUALLY YOU'LL&REACH THE KING'S&CASTLE./
THEN YOU CAN&LEAVE!/%%
REALLY!^1?&YOU WANT TO BE&FRIENDS^1, WITH ME???/
WELL THEN.../
\\E0I GUESS..^1./
I GUESS&I CAN MAKE AN&ALLOWANCE FOR YOU!/
HUH^1?&WHY WOULD YOU.../
BERATE YOURSELF&SO LOUDLY???/
IS IT BECAUSE.../
\\E3YOU DON'T THINK&YOU'RE GOOD ENOUGH&TO BE MY FRIEND?/
\\E0NO!!^1!&YOU'RE GREAT!!^1!&I'LL BE YOUR FRIEND!/
WOWIE!^1!&WE HAVEN'T EVEN HAD&OUR FIRST DATE.../
AND I'VE ALREADY&MANAGED TO HIT&THE FRIEND ZONE!!!/
WHO KNEW THAT&ALL I NEEDED TO&MAKE PALS.../
WOW!!!/
I HAVE FRIENDS!!!/
AND WHO KNEW THAT&ALL I NEEDED TO&MAKE THEM.../
WAS TO GIVE PEOPLE&AWFUL PUZZLES AND&THEN FIGHT THEM??/
YOU TAUGHT ME A&LOT^1, HUMAN./
I HEREBY GRANT&YOU PERMISSION&TO PASS THROUGH!/
AND I'LL GIVE&YOU DIRECTIONS&TO THE SURFACE./
CONTINUE FORWARD&UNTIL YOU REACH THE&END OF THE CAVERN./
\\WTHEN..^1. WHEN YOU&REACH THE CAPITAL^1,&CROSS \\YTHE BARRIER\\W./
THAT'S THE MAGICAL&SEAL TRAPPING US&ALL UNDERGROUND./
ANYTHING CAN ENTER&THROUGH IT^1, BUT&NOTHING CAN EXIT.../
... EXCEPT SOMEONE&WITH A POWERFUL&SOUL./
... LIKE YOU!!!/
THAT'S WHY THE&KING WANTS TO&ACQUIRE A HUMAN./
HE WANTS TO OPEN&THE BARRIER WITH&SOUL POWER./
THEN US MONSTERS&CAN RETURN TO&THE SURFACE!/%%
YOU'RE BACK AGAIN?!?!/
I FINALLY REALIZE&THE TRUE REASON WHY./
YOU.../
JUST MISS SEEING MY&FACE SO MUCH.../
I'M NOT SURE I&CAN FIGHT SOMEONE&WHO FEELS THIS WAY./
BUT MOSTLY..^1. I'M GETTING&REALLY TIRED OF&CAPTURING YOU!/
SO..^1.&WHAT DO YOU SAY?/
* (Fight Papyrus?)& & Yes No\\C
\\TP %
OKAY.../
I GUESS./
IF YOU WANT ME TO&CAPTURE YOU./
I'LL TRY AGAIN!!!/%%
... OKAY.../
I GUESS I'LL ACCEPT&MY FAILURE.../%%
s
* Welcome to Snowed Inn^1!&* Snowdin's premier hotel!/
* One night is 80G.& & Stay Leave\\C
* Back again^1?&* Well^1, stay as long as you& like./
* How about it?& & Stay Leave\\C
jtext
* What^1?&* No^1, you can't get a& second key!
* Hello^1!&* Sorry^1, no time for a& nap.../
* Snowed Inn is shutting& down so we can all go& to the surface./%%
* Oh^1, there you are^1.&* I was worrying about& you!/
* Things are going to be OK^1,& you hear?/
* We're all going to the& surface world soon.../
* There's bound to be a& place you can stay there!/%%
Error./%%
* Here's your room key^1.&* Make sure to bundle up!/%%
* ... You don't even have 80G?/
* Oh^1! You poor thing^1.&* I can only imagine what& you've been through./
* One of the rooms upstairs& is empty^1./
* You can sleep there for& free^1, okay?/%%
* You aren't carrying enough& money./%%
* Well^1, feel free to come& back any time./%%
* (Look through the telescope?)& & Yes No\\C
view_yview
view_xview
dsprite
* i'm thinking about& getting into the& telescope business./
* it's normally 50000G& to use this premium& telescope.../
* but..^1.&*\\E1 since i know you^1,& you can use it for free./
\\E2* howzabout it?/
* (Use the telescope?)& & Yes No\\C
* huh^1?&* you aren't satisfied?/
\\E1* don't worry./
\\E2* i'll give you a& full refund./%%
lsprite
* well^1, come back& whenever you want./%%
BEPIS.
armor
GROSS BANDAGE
FADED RIBBON
BANDANNA
DUSTY TUTU
* Ring..\\E0./
HELLO^1!&THIS IS PAPYRUS!!!/
\\E3HOW DID I GET THIS&NUMBER...?/
\\E0IT WAS EASY!!!/
\\E0I JUST DIALED EVERYNUMBER SEQUENTIALLYUNTIL I GOT YOURS!!!/
NYEH HEH HEH HEH!!/
\\E2SO..^1.&WHAT ARE YOU&WEARING...?/
\\E3I'M..^1.&ASKING FOR A&FRIEND./
\\E0SHE THOUGHT SHE&SAW YOU WEARING A&
./
\\E3IS THAT TRUE^1?&ARE YOU WEARING A&
?/
* (What will you say?)& & Yes No\\C
SO YOU ARE WEARING&A
.../
GOT IT!!^1!&WINK WINK!!!/
HAVE A NICE DAY!/
SO YOU AREN'T&WEARING A&
GOT IT!/
YOU'RE MY FRIEND^1,&SO I TRUST YOU&100-PERCENT./
* (There's an empty pie tin& inside the stove.)/%%
\\E0MY BROTHER ALWAYS&GOES OUT TO EAT^1.&BUT.../
\\E3RECENTLY^1, HE TRIED&'BAKING' SOMETHING./
IT WAS LIKE..^1.&A QUICHE./
BUT FILLED WITH A&SUGARY^1, NON-EGG&SUBSTANCE./
\\E0HOW ABSURD!/%%
* (It's a joke book.)/
* (Take a look inside?)& & Yes No\\C
* (Inside the joke book was& a quantum physics book.)/
* (You look inside...)/
* (Inside the quantum physics& book was another joke& book.)/
* (There's another quantum& physics book...)/
* (You decide to stop.)/%%
THAT'S MY ROOM^1!/
IF YOU'VE&FINISHED LOOKING&AROUND.../
WE COULD GO IN&AND.../
"HANG-OUT" LIKE&A PAIR OF VERY&COOL FRIENDS?/
\\E3DO WHATEVER&PEOPLE DO WHEN&THEY DATE???/
* (Go inside?)& & Yes No\\C
* (It's the door to& Papyrus's room.)/
* (It's covered in many& labels...)/
* (NO GIRLS ALLOWED!)/
* (NO BOYS ALLOWED!)/
* (PAPYRUS ALLOWED.)/%%
event_user
THERE ARE NO&SKELETONS INSIDE&MY CLOSET!!!/
\\E3EXCEPT ME&SOMETIMES./
* (Look in the closet?)& & Yes No\\C
* (Clothes are hung up& neatly inside.)/%%
IT'S OK TO BE&INTIMIDATED BY&MY FASHION SENSE./%%
\\E3SO^1, UM.../
\\E3IF YOU'VE SEEN&EVERYTHING.../
\\E2DO YOU WANT TO&START HANGING OUT?/
* (Begin the hangouts?)& & Yes No\\C
\\E2DO YOU WANT TO&START THE DATE?/
* (Begin the date?)& & Yes No\\C
intro
\\E0OKAY!!^1!&DATING START!!!/%%
\\E0OKAY!!^1!&LET'S HANG TEN!!/%%
\\E2TAKE YOUR TIME..^1.&I'LL WAIT FOR&YOU./%%
* (This mailbox is labelled& "PAPYRUS".)/
* (Look inside?)& & Yes No\\C
* (It's empty.)/%%
* (You realize that would& probably be illegal.)/%%
* what^1?&* haven't you seen a guy& with two jobs before?/
\\E1* fortunately^1, two jobs& means twice as many& legally-required breaks./
\\E0* i'm going to grillby's.&* wanna come?& Yeah I'm busy \\C
* .../%%
\\E2* hey^1, looks like you're& really turning yourself& around./
\\E0* how about i treat you& to lunch at grillby's?/
\\E1* ... when everyone you& scared away comes& back^1, i mean./%%
* well^1, if you insist..^1.&* i'll pry myself away& from my work.../%%
con
* OK^1. have fun./%%
\\E1* whoops^1, watch where& you sit down./
* sometimes weirdos put& whoopee cushions on& the seats./
\\E0* anyway^1, let's order./
* whaddya want...?& & Fries Burger\\C
* ok^1, coming right up./%%
* hey^1, that sounds& pretty good./
* grillby^1, we'll have& a double order of& fries./%%
burg
* grillby^1, we'll have& a double order of& burg./%%
* so^1, what do you& think.../
* of my brother?& & Cool Uncool\\C
* of course he's cool./
\\E1* you'd be cool too& if you wore that& outfit every day./
\\E0* he'd only take that& thing off if he& absolutely had to./
* oh well^1.&* at least he washes& it./
\\E1* and by that i mean& he wears it in& the shower./%%
* hey^1, pal./
\\E1* sarcasm isn't funny^1,& okay?/
\\E0* my brother's a real& star./
* he's the person who& pushed me to get& this sentry job./
* maybe it's a little& strange^1, but& sometimes.../
* ... it's nice to have& someone call you out& on being lazy./
\\E1* even though nothing& could be further& from the truth./%%
* here comes the grub./
* want some ketchup^1?& & Yes No \\C
\\E2* bone appetit./%%
\\E2* more for me./%%
\\W* have you ever heard& of a \\Ytalking flower\\W?& Yes No \\C
\\E1* so you know all& about it./
\\E1* i'll tell you^1, then./
\\W*\\E0 the \\Becho flower\\W./
* they're all over the& marsh./
* say something to them^1,& and they'll repeat it& over and over.../
* what about it?/
* well^1, papyrus told& me something interesting& the other day./
* sometimes^1, when no& one else is around.../
* a flower appears and& whispers things to& him./
* flattery..^1.&* advice..^1.&* encouragement.../
* ... predictions./
* weird^1, huh?/
* someone must be using& an echo flower to& play a trick on him./
* keep an eye out^1, ok?/
* thanks./%%
\\E1* oh^1, by the way.../
\\E0* i'm flat broke^1.&* can you foot the& bill?/
* it's just 10000G.& & Yes No \\C
* My mind is running wild^1!&* I haven't felt like this& in a long time.../%%
* Please leave./%%
* You..^1.&* You came from outside^1,& didn't you?/
* People like you are so& rare.../
* Please^1!* Stranger!/
* Tell me about outside...?& & Yes No\\C
* Well^1, what are you& waiting for?/%%
* Oh^1!&* You're back!/
* How's the room?& & Different Same\\C
* Huh^1?&* "SURFACE"^1?&* What do you mean?/
* I just meant outside this& room./
* If you haven't noticed^1, my& mycelium have bound me& to the ground./
* Please^1!&* Stranger!/
* I'll make this simple./
* I've spent my whole life& in the same spot^1,& in the same room./
* But I've long wondered& what lies inside the& room to the right./
* Long I've fantasized& about entering^1, and& changing my scenery.../
* No..^1.&* Changing my LIFE!/
* Please^1.&* Go and tell me what's& inside./%%
* Is everyone out there& like you^1?&* How terrible./%%
* Oh^1, that's a relief^1!/
* That's all I need to& continue my fantasies^1.&* Thank you^1, stranger./%%
* So it's the same./
* The same.../
* Same.../
* OK./%%
* (Take an umbrella?)& & Take one Do not\\C
* (Return the umbrella?)& & Put back Do not\\C
* (You took an umbrella.)/%%
rsprite
usprite
* (You returned the umbrella.)/%%
* (It's a statue^1.)&* (The structures at its& feet seem dry.)/%%
* (Put the umbrella on the& statue?)& Yes Do not\\C
* (The music continues^1, and& doesn't stop.)/%%
* (You place the umbrella& atop the statue.)/
* (Inside the statue^1, a music& box begins to play...)/%%
* (It's a rusty old& fridge.)/
* (You open the fridge.^1)&* (The air fills with a& rotten stench.)/
* (All the food inside here& spoiled long ago.)/%%
* error/%%
* (The cooler is empty.)/%%
* (Take a space food bar& from the cooler?)& Yes No \\C
* (It's a cooler^1.&* It has no brand^1, and& shows no signs of wear...)/
* (Inside are a couple& of freeze-dried space& food bars.)/
* (Take one?)& & Yes No \\C
* (You got the Astronaut Food.)/%%
* %%
* (Seems like a regular& training dummy.)/
* (Do you want to beat it& up?)& Yes No \\C
* (You've had enough of& the dummy.)/%%
lv
* (You tap the dummy with& your fist.)/
* (You feel bad.)/%%
* (You hit the dummy& lightly.)/
* (You don't feel like& you learned anything.)/%%
* (You sock the dummy.)/
* (Who cares?)/%%
* (You punch the dummy at& full force.)/
* (Feels good.)/%%
* (You stare into each& other's eyes for a& moment...)/%%
* (It's a horse stable.)/
* (Do you want to go& inside?)& Yes No \\C
* (You jostle the door.)&* (It's locked.)/
* (Suddenly^1, from inside& the [redacted], you hear a&/%%
* x/%%
* (This CD is labelled& "Spooktunes.")/
* (Play it?)& & Play it No\\C
* (This CD is playing.)&* (Turn it off?)& Stop it No\\C
* (You play the CD.)/%%
* (Spooktunes are dead.)/%%
* (The CD stops moving.)/%%
* (This CD is labelled& "Spookwave.")/
* (This CD is labelled& "Ghouliday Music.")/
* (Look inside the fridge?)& & Open it No\\C
* (There's a lonely sandwich& inside.)/%%
* this is a ghost sandwich.../
* do you want to try it...& & Yes No\\C
* (You attempt to bite& into the ghost sandwich.)/
* (You phase right through& it...)/
* oh.../
* nevermind.../%%
* oh.....................& ....................& ................./%%
* after a great meal i like& to lie on the ground and& feel like garbage.../
* it's a family tradition.../
* do you want..^1.&* ... to join me...& Yes No\\C
* okay..^1.&* follow my lead.../%%
* do you want to play a game^1?&* it's called thundersnail./
* the snails will race^1, and if& the yellow snail wins^1, you& win./
* it's 10G to play.& & Play No\\C
* um..^1.&* you don't have any money?/
* n-no^1, you can still play^1,& don't worry about it.../
* okay..^1.&* press [Z] repeatedly to& encourage your snail./
* ready?/%%
* um..^1. that's less than 10G./
* but since you're my only& real customer^1, i guess i'll& just take what you have.../
* oh.........../%%
* Seven./
* Seven human souls./
* With the power of seven& human souls^1, our king.../
\\W* \\YKing \\RASGORE \\YDreemurr\\W.../
* ... will become a god./
\\W* With that power^1, \\RASGORE\\W & can finally shatter the& barrier./
* He will finally take the& surface back from humanity.../
* And give them back the& suffering and pain that& we have endured./
* Understand^1, human?/
* This is your only chance& at redemption./
* Give up your soul.../
* Or I'll tear it from& your body./%%
* That spark in your eyes.../
* You're really eager to& die^1, aren't you?/%%
* Yo^1, I know I'm not supposed& to be here^1, but.../
* I wanna ask you something./
* Man^1, I've never had to ask& anyone this before.../
* Umm.../
* Yo..^1. You're human^1, right?&* Haha./
* Man^1! I knew it!/
* ... well^1, I know it now^1,& I mean.../
* Undyne told me^1, um^1, "stay& away from that human."/
* So^1, like^1, ummm.../
* I guess that makes us enemies& or something./
* But I kinda stink at that^1,& haha./
* Yo^1, say something mean so& I can hate you?/
* Please? & & Yes No \\C
* Huh...?/
* Yo^1, that's your idea of& something mean?/
* My sister says that to me& ALL THE TIME!/
* Guess I have to do it^1, haha./
* Yo^1, I..^1. I hate your guts./
* Man^1, I..^1. I'm such a turd./
* I'm..^1. I'm gonna go home& now./%%
* Yo^1, what^1?&* So I have to do it?/
* Here goes nothing.../
* (It's a water cooler.)&* (Take a cup of water?)& Yes No \\C
* (There's no more water left& in the cooler.)/%%
* (Sadistically^1, you've poured& out all the water right in& front of Undyne's eyes.)/%%
* (You take a cup of water.)/%%
* (Get rid of the water?)& & Yes No \\C
* (You pour the water on& the ground next to the& water cooler.)/%%
* A rousing error./%%
havewater
* (Give Undyne the water?)& & Yes No \\C
* (She looks dry...)/%%
armor1
armor2
REMEMBER WHEN&I ASKED YOU&ABOUT CLOTHES?/
\\E3WELL^1, THE FRIEND&WHO WANTED TO&KNOW.../
\\E0HER OPINION OF&YOU IS VERY.../
\\E3MURDERY./
\\E0ERROR!!^1!&SEE YOU LATER!/%%
\\E0BUT I BET YOU&KNEW THAT&ALREADY!/
\\E3AND BECAUSE YOU&KNEW THAT.../
\\E0I TOLD HER WHAT&YOU TOLD ME&YOU WERE WEARING!/
A
!/
BECAUSE I KNEW^1,&OF COURSE.../
\\E3AFTER SUCH A&SUSPICIOUS&QUESTION.../
\\E0YOU WOULD&OBVIOUSLY CHANGE&YOUR CLOTHES!/
YOU'RE SUCH A&SMART COOKIE!/
THIS WAY YOU'RE&SAFE AND I&DIDN'T LIE!!!/
NO BETRAYAL&ANYWHERE!!!/
BEING FRIENDS&WITH EVERYONE&IS EASY!!!/
\\E0WELL^1, WORRY&NOT DEAR HUMAN!/
PAPYRUS WOULD&NEVER BETRAY YOU!/
\\E3I AM NOT A&CRUEL PERSON./
\\E0I STRIVE TO BE&COMFORTING AND&PLEASANT./
PAPYRUS!&HE SMELLS LIKE&THE MOON./
SO, BECAUSE OF&MY INHERENT&GOODNESS.../
I TOLD HER YOU&WERE NOT WEARING&A
\\E3EVEN THOUGH YOU&TOLD ME YOU&WERE!/
INSTEAD^1, I MADE&SOMETHING UP!/
I TOLD HER YOU&WERE WEARING.../
\\E0A
\\E3IT PAINED ME TO&TELL SUCH A&BOLDFACED LIE./
I KNOW YOU WOULD&NEVER EVER WEAR&A
\\E0BUT YOUR SAFETY&IS MORE IMPORTANT&THAN FASHION./
\\E3DANG!/
I JUST WANT TO&BE FRIENDS WITH&EVERYONE.../
\\E3PAPYRUS WOULD&NEVER BETRAY YOU!/
\\WY\\E0OU SAID YOU WERE\\Y &NOT WEARING A&
\\W./
\\E3SO OF COURSE&I ACTUALLY&TOLD HER.../
\\E0YOU WERE&INDEED WEARING&A
BUT SINCE YOU&AREN'T WEARING&A
\\E0SHE SURELY&WON'T ATTACK&YOU!/
NOW YOU ARE&SAFE AND SOUND./
\\E2WOWIE..^1.&THIS IS HARD./
I JUST WANT TO&BE EVERYBODY'S&FRIEND!/
\\E0I KNEW WHEN&YOU SAID:/
\\E3"I AM NOT&WEARING A&
."/
\\E0IT WAS REALLY&A SECRET CODE!/
\\E3YOU REALLY&MEANT.../
\\E0"I ACTUALLY AM&WEARING&A
!"/
YOU WERE TRYING&TO PROTECT&YOURSELF.../
WHILE MAKING IT&SO I DIDN'T&HAVE TO LIE!/
I PICKED UP ON&THIS, AND FOLLOWED&YOUR PLAN./
IN FACT I TOOK&IT ONE STEP&FURTHER!/
\\E3I TOLD HER YOU&WERE PROBABLY.../
\\E0WEARING A&
\\E3OF COURSE, YOU&WOULD NEVER&WEAR THAT./
\\E0BUT THAT'S THE&POINT!/
SHE WON'T&RECOGNIZE YOU&NOW!/
AND I DIDN'T&HAVE TO BETRAY&EITHER OF YOU!/
SINCE I JUST&TOLD HER WHAT&YOU SAID!/
WOWIE^1!&YOU'RE SUCH A&SMART COOKIE!/
I REALLY CAN&BE FRIENDS WITH&EVERYONE!!!/
HEY^1!&WHAT'S UP!?/
I WAS JUST&THINKING.../
YOU^1, ME^1, AND&UNDYNE SHOULD ALL&HANG OUT SOMETIME!/
I THINK YOU&WOULD MAKE&GREAT PALS!/
LET'S MEET UP&AT HER HOUSE&LATER!/
AFTER YOU HANG&OUT WITH ME.../
LET'S MEET UP&AT HER HOUSE!/
* (It's a book labelled& Monster History Part 6.)& Read it Do not\\C
* Unfortunately^1, monsters are& not experienced with& illness./
* However^1, when monsters are& about to expire of age^1,& they lie down^1, immobile./
* We call this state& "Fallen Down."/
* A person who has Fallen& Down will soon perish./
* In a way^1, this confusing& situation was all too& familiar./%%
* (You decide not to read it.)/%%
* (It's a book labelled& Monster History Part 7.)& Read it Do not\\C
* When a human dies^1, its& soul remains stable& outside the body./
* Meanwhile^1, a monster's soul& disappears near-instantly& upon death./
* This allows monsters to& absorb the souls of& humans.../
* While it is extremely& difficult for humans to& absorb a monster's soul./
* This is why they feared us./
* Though monsters are weak^1,& with enough human souls.../
* They could easily destroy& all of mankind./%%
* (It's a book labelled& Monster History Part 8.)& Read it Do not\\C
* There is one exception& to the aforementioned& rules:/
* A certain type of monster^1,& the "boss" monster./
* Due to its life cycle^1, it& possesses an incredibly& strong soul for a monster./
* This soul can remain& stable after death^1, if& only for a few moments./%%
* (All these books are labelled& Human History.)& Read one Do not\\C
* (You look inside a book.)/
* (It's a comic of a giant& robot fighting a beautiful& alien princess.)/
* (This doesn't strike you& as very accurate...)/%%
* (You decide not to.)/%%
* (You look inside a book.)&* (It's a comic book.)/
* (Two scantily-clad chefs are& flinging energy pancakes& at each other.)/
* (A hideous android is running& to school with toast in& its mouth.)/
* (Seems like it's late.)/
* (There's a piano here.^1)&* (Play it?)& Yes No\\C
See that heart^1? &That is your SOUL^1,&the very culmination&of your being!/
Your SOUL starts off&weak^1, but can grow&strong if you gain&a lot of LV./
What's LV stand for^1?&Why^1, LOVE^1, of course!/
You want some&LOVE, don't you?/
Don't worry,&I'll share some&with you!/%
Down here^1, LOVE is&shared through..^1./
Little white..^2.\\E1 &"friendliness&pellets."/
\\E2Are you ready\\E0?/%
Move around^1!&Get as many as&you can^2!%%%
You idiot./
In this world^1, it's&kill or BE killed./
Why would ANYONE pass&up an opportunity&like this!?/%
Die./%
Hey buddy^1,&you missed them./
Let's try again^1,&okay?/%
Is this a joke^2?&Are you braindead^2?&RUN^2. INTO^2. THE^2.&BULLETS!!!
You know what's&going on here^1,&don't you?/
You just wanted to&see me suffer./%
\\E1What a terrible&creature^1, torturing&such a poor^1,&innocent youth.../
\\E2Ah, do not be&afraid^1, my child./
\\XI am \\BTORIEL\\X,&caretaker of&the \\RRUINS\\X./
I pass through this&place every day to&see if anyone has&fallen down./
You are the first&human to come here&in a long time./
I will do my best&to ensure your&protection during&your time here./%%
\\E2Come^2!&I will guide you&through the&catacombs./%%
* Three gold for the ferry.& & Yes No\\C
* Later^1, then./%%
* Hop on!/%%
* (It's a switch.)& & Press it Don't\\C
sc
sound1
sound2
alarm
* (The lasers were deactivated.)/%%
* (The lasers were reactivated.)/%%
* Ring.../
\\TS \\E3 \\F6 \\TA %
\\E1* Um.../
\\E0* I noticed you've been& kind of quiet.../
\\W*\\E8 Are you w-worried& about meeting \\RASGORE\\W...?/
\\E2* .../
\\E0* W-well^1, don't worry^1,& okay?/
\\E7* Th-the king is a& really nice guy.../
\\E0* I'm sure you can& talk to him^1, and.../
* W-with your human& soul^1, you can pass& through the barrier!/
* S-so no worrying^1, OK^1?&* J-just forget about it& and smile./
* hey buddy^1, what's up^1?&* wanna buy a hot dog?/
* it's only 30G.& & Yes No \\C
instance_number
* here^1.&* have fun./%%
* here's another hot& dog./
* it's on the house^1.&* well^1, no^1.&* it's on you./%%
* sorry^1, thirty is& the limit on& head-dogs./%%
\\TS*^1 \\Tsi'll be 'frank' with& you./
* as much as i like& putting hot dogs& on your head.../
* thirty is just& an excessive number./
* twenty-nine^1, now& that's fine^1, but& thirty.../
* does it look like& my arms can reach& that high?/%%
* thanks, kid^1.&* here's your hot dog./%%
* thanks, kid^1.&* here's your 'dog./
* yeah^1. 'dog^1.&* apostrophe-dog^1.&* it's short for hot-dog./%%
* another h'dog^1?&* here you go.../
* whoops^1, i'm actually& out of hot dogs./
* here^1, you can have& a hot cat instead./%%
* another dog^1, coming& right up.../
* ... you really like& hot animals^1, don't& you?/
* hey^1, i'm not judging./
* i'd be out of a job& without folks like you./%%
* cool^1.&* here's that ''dog./
* apostrophe-apostrophe& dog./
* it's short for& apostrophe-dog./
* which is^1, in turn^1,& short for.../%%
* another one^1?&* okay./
* careful^1.&* if you eat& too many hot dogs.../
* you'll probably get& huge like me./
* huge as in super-& popular^1, i mean./
* i'm practically& a hot-dog tycoon now./%%
* whoops^1, you don't have& enough cash./
* you should get a job^1.&* i've heard being a& sentry pays well./%%
* you're holding too much^1.&* ... guess i'll just put& it on your head./%%
* yeah^1, you've gotta& save your money for& college and spiders./%%
* L-looks like you& beat him!/
\\E0* Y-you did a really& great job out there./
& All thanks& to you ... \\C
\\E3* What^1?&* Oh no^1, I mean.../
\\E4* You were the one& doing everything cool!/
\\E0* I just wrote some& silly programs for& your phone./
\\E4* ... umm^1, h-hey^1, this& might sound strange^1,& but.../
\\E6* ... c-can I tell& you something?/
\\E9* .../
\\E4* B-before I met you^1,& I d-didn't really.../
\\E9* I didn't really& like myself very& much./
* For a long time^1,& I f-felt like a& total screw-up./
\\E9* L-like I couldn't& do a-anything& w-without.../
\\E9* W-without ending up& letting everyone& down./
\\E3* B-but...!/
\\E4* Guiding you has& made me feel.../
\\E9* A lot better about& myself./
\\E0* So... thanks for& letting me help& you./
\\E4* Uhhh^1, anyway^1, we're& almost to the CORE./
\\E0* It's just past& MTT Resort./
\\E6* Come on^1!&* Let's finish this!/%%
\\E0EUREKA!!!/
I'VE FIGURED OUT&THE PUZZLE!!!/
\\E3YOU SEEM LIKE&YOU'RE HAVING&FUN^1, THOUGH.../
\\E0DO YOU ABSOLUTELY^1,&DAPSOLUTELY WANT&THE SOLUTION???/
* (Do you absolutely^1,& dapsolutely want the answer?)& Yes No\\C
THE^1!&SOLUTION^1!&IS!/
(PLEASE IMAGINE&A DRUMROLL IN&YOUR HEAD)/
... THAT TREE&OVER THERE HAS&A SWITCH ON IT!/
CHECK IT&OUTIE!!!/%%
WOW..^1.&YOU'RE TRULY A&PUZZLE PASSIONEER!/
I'M SO ENTHUSED&BY YOUR&ENTHUSIASM!!!/
YOU CAN DO IT^1,&HUMAN!!!/%%
* (There's a switch on the& trunk of this tree.)/
* (Press it?)& & Yes No\\C
fvic
OHO^1!&THE HUMAN ARRIVES!/
ARE YOU READY TO&HANG OUT WITH&UNDYNE?/
I HAVE A PLAN&TO MAKE YOU TWO&GREAT FRIENDS!/
* (Will you hang out?)& & Yes No\\C
OKAY^1!&STAND BEHIND ME!/%%
HMMM..^1.&STILL GETTING&READY?/
\\E0TAKE YOUR TIME!/%%
OKAY^1!&ALL READIED-UP&TO HANG OUT!?/
TAKE YOUR TIME!/%%
\\E4* .../
\\E5* So why are YOU& here?/
\\E4* To rub your victory& in my face?/
\\E4* To humiliate me& even further?/
\\E1* IS THAT IT? & & Yes No\\C
\\E2* Oh-ho-ho-ho./
\\E1* Well^1, I've got news& for you^1, BRAT./
\\E2* You're on MY& battlefield now./
\\E3* And you AREN'T& going to& humiliate me./
\\E3* I'll TELL you& what's going to& happen./
\\E0* We're going to& hang out./
\\E2* We're going to& have a good& time./
\\M1* We're going to& become "friends."/
\\E3* You'll become so& enamored with me.../
\\E1* YOU'LL be the one& feeling humiliated& for your actions!/
\\E6* Fuhuhuhuhu!!/
\\M2* It's the perfect& revenge!!!/
\\E1* Err.../
\\E9* Why don't you& have a seat?/%%
\\E4* Then why are you& here?/
\\E1* ...!/
\\E2* Wait^1, I get it./
\\E3* You think that I'm& gonna be friends& with you^1, huh?/
* Right???& NEVER & Yes with you\\C
\\E6* Really^1?&* How delightful!^1!&* I accept!/
* Let's all frolick& in the fields& of friendship!/
\\E2* ...NOT!/
\\E2* Why would I EVER& be friends with& YOU!?/
\\E3* If you weren't my& houseguest^1, I'd beat& you up right now!/
\\E0* You're the enemy& of everyone's hopes& and dreams!/
\\E1* I WILL NEVER& BE YOUR FRIEND./
\\E3* Now get out of& my house!/%%
\\E1* WHAT?/
\\E4* First you parade& into my house^1,& then you INSULT me?/
\\E2* You little BRAT^1!&* I have half a& mind to.../
\\E3* Wait./
\\E2* I'll prove you& WRONG./
\\E3* We ARE going to& be friends./
\\E1* In fact.../
\\E3* We./
\\M1* Are going to be& BESTIES./
* I'll make you like& me so much.../
\\E1* Your WHOLE LIFE& will revolve around& me!!/
\\E6* FUHUHUHUHU!!!/
\\E9* Now^1, why don't& you have a seat?/%%
* (Sit down and progress?)& & Yes No\\C
* That sugar's for& the tea./
\\E2* I'm not gonna give& you a cup of& sugar!/
\\E6* What do I look& like^1, the ice-cream& woman?/
\\E2* Do human ice-cream& women TERRORIZE HUMANITY& with ENERGY SPEARS?/
\\E3* Are their ice-cream& songs a PRELUDE TO& DESTRUCTION?/
\\E1* ... what^1?&* REALLY?/
\\E6* That rules!!!/%%
\\E3* That's what I& thought./%%
* Envision these& vegetables as your& greatest enemy!/
\\E2* Now!^1!&* Pound them to dust& with your fists!!/
* (How will you pound?)& & Strong Wimpy\\C
* (You punch the vegetables& at full force^1.&* You knock over a tomato.)/
scr_undface
* YEAH^1!&* YEAH!/
\\E1* Our hearts are& uniting against these& healthy ingredients!/
\\M2* NOW IT'S MY TURN!/
* NGAHHH!/%%
* (You pet the vegetables& in an affectionate& manner.)/
* OH MY GOD!!^1!&* STOP PETTING THE& ENEMY!!!/
\\M2* I'll show you& how it's done!/
* ... we add the& noodles!/
\\E0* Homemade noodles& are the best!/
\\E6* BUT I JUST BUY& STORE-BRAND!/
\\M2* THEY'RE THE& CHEAPEST!!!/
\\E1* NGAHHHHHHHHH& HHHHHHHHHH!!!/
\\E9* Uhh^1, just put them& in the pot./
\\M0* (How will you put them in?)& & Fiercely Careful\\C
* (You throw everything into& the pot as hard as you can^1,& including the box.)/
* (It clanks against the& empty bottom.)/
\\M2* YEAH!!^1!&* I'M INTO IT!!!/%%
* (You place the noodles& in one at a time.)/
* (They clank against the& empty bottom.)/
* Nice???/%%
\\E0* Humans suck^1, but& their history..^1.&* Kinda rules./
\\E2* Case in point^1:&* This giant sword!/
\\E0* Historically^1, humans& wielded swords up& to 10x their size./
\\E1* RIGHT?& & True False\\C
\\E6* Heh^1, I knew it!/
\\E2* When I first heard& that^1, I immediately& wanted one!/
\\E0* So me and Alphys& built a giant& sword together./
\\E0* She figured out all& the specs herself.../
\\E6* She's smart^1, huh!?/%%
\\E2* Pfft^1!&* You liar!/
\\E3* I've READ Alphys's& human history book& collection!/
\\E3* I know all about& your giant swords.../
\\E3* Your colossal^1,& alien-fighting& robots.../
* Your supernatural& princesses.../
\\E6* Heh^1! There's no& way you're gonna& fool me!!!/%%
* (Look inside the bone drawer?)& & Yes No\\C
\\M5* WHAT A SENSATIONAL OPPORTUNITY& FOR A STORY!/
\\M3* I CAN SEE THE HEADLINE NOW:/
\\M4* "A DOG EXISTS SOMEWHERE."/
\\M2* FRANKLY^1, I'M BLOWN AWAY./
* (REPORT THIS ONE?)& & Report Look More\\C
very inactive nowadays
User avatar
Lionmeow
Keeper
 
Posts: 409
Joined: Tue Feb 20, 2018 6:47 pm
Location: Inside of a tabby slime.

Re: WAR OF THE COPYPASTA

Postby Lionmeow » Sat Jan 26, 2019 10:21 pm

(the reason I did two is because of the fact these forums physically can't hold a quarter of it.)

eventchoice
\\M5* THIS DOG..^1.&* STILL EXISTS!/
* THIS STORY..^1.&* JUST KEEPS GETTING& BETTER AND BETTER!/
\\M2* (REPORT THIS ONE?)& & Report Look More\\C
\\M5* OH MY!!!!/
\\M2* ... IT'S A COMPLETELY& NONDESCRIPT GLASS OF WATER./
\\M4* BUT ANYTHING CAN MAKE& A GREAT STORY WITH ENOUGH& SPIN!/
\\M3* I'M HONORED TO BE IN THE& PRESENCE OF SUCH A HUGE& LUKEWARM WATER FAN^1, FOLKS!/
\\M5* OH NO!!^1!&* THAT MOVIE SCRIPT!!^1!&* HOW'D??^1? THAT GET THERE???/
\\M4* IT'S A SUPER-JUICY SNEAK& PREVIEW OF MY LATEST& GUARANTEED-NOT-TO-BOMB FILM:/
\\M6* METTATON THE MOVIE XXVIII..^1.& STARRING METTATON!/
\\M1* I'VE HEARD THAT LIKE THE& OTHER FILMS.../
\\M1* IT CONSISTS MOSTLY OF A SINGLE& FOUR-HOUR SHOT OF ROSE PETALS& SHOWERING ON MY RECLINING BODY./
\\M5* OOH!!^1!&* BUT THAT'S!!^1!&* NOT CONFIRMED!!/
\\M5* YOU WOULDN'T (COUGH) SPOIL MY& MOVIE FOR EVERYONE WITH A& PROMOTIONAL STORY^1, WOULD YOU?/
\\M5* PHEW!!^1! THAT WAS CLOSE!^1!&* YOU ALMOST GAVE ME A BUNCH& OF FREE ADVERTISEMENT!!/%%
\\M2 %%
\\M3* OH^1!&* YOU'RE BACK!/
\\M6* THAT'S RIGHT^1, FOLKS^1!&* IT SEEMS NO ONE CAN RESIST& THE ALLURE OF MY NEW FILM!/
\\M4* BASKETBALL'S A BLAST^1, ISN'T IT^1,& DARLING?/
\\M1* TOO BAD YOU CAN'T PLAY WITH& THESE BALLS./
\\M4* THEY'RE MTT-BRAND FASHION& BASKETBALLS^1.&* FOR WEARING^1, NOT PLAYING./
\\M6* YOU CAN'T GET RICH AND FAMOUS& LIKE MOI WITHOUT BEAUTIFYING& A FEW ORBS./
* IT SEEMS OUR REPORTER IS DRAWN& TO SPORTS LIKE MOTHS TO A& FLAMING BASKETBALL HOOP./
\\M5* OH MY^1! IT'S A PRESENT^1!&* AND IT'S ADDRESSED TO YOU^1,& DARLING!/
\\M6* AREN'T YOU JUST BURSTING& WITH EXCITEMENT?/
\\M5* WHAT COULD BE INSIDE^1?&* WELL^1, NO TIME LIKE THE& "PRESENT" TO FIND OUT!/
\\M4* READY FOR YOUR..^1.&* PRESENTATION?/
\\M4* (... LET'S CUT THAT ONE IN& POST.)/
\\M5* OOH LA LA^1!&* THIS VIDEO GAME YOU FOUND..^1.&* IS DYNAMITE!!!/
\\M4* THOUGH I DON'T MAKE AN& APPEARANCE IN IT UNTIL& THREE-FOURTHS IN./
\\M3* BUT I LIKE THAT./
\\M6* APPEARING FROM THE HEAVENS LIKE& MANNA^1, SLAKING THE AUDIENCE'S& HUNGER FOR GORGEOUS ROBOTS.../
\\M5* OOH^1!&* THAT'S METTATON!/
* AH^1, YOU UNDERSTAND./
* THIS IS A GAME WHERE YOU& SHOULD CHECK EVERYTHING& TWICE./
* Buy a Spider Cider for 9999G?& & Yes No \\C
* Buy a Spider Donut for 9999G?& & Yes No \\C
* Ribbit^1, ribbit.&* (I have heard you are quite& merciful^1, for a human...)/
\\W* (Surely you know by now a& monster wears a \\YYELLOW\\W name& when you can \\YSPARE\\W it.)/
* (What do you think of that?)& Very It's& Helpful Bad\\C
* (It is rather helpful.^1)&* (Remember^1, sparing is just& saying you won't fight.)/
* (Maybe one day^1, you'll& have to do it even if& their name isn't yellow.)/%%
* (Really^1? Then^1, I'll tell all& of my friends to tell& their friends' friends...)/
* (Never use yellow names.)&* (How about that?)/
Keep No more& Yellow Yellow& Names Names\\C
* (OK^1, they will still& use yellow names.)/%%
* (OK^1, I will let them& know not to use yellow& names.)/%%
* Ribbit^1, ribbit^1.&* (How are you doing without& yellow names?)/
Bring & It's Them& great Back\\C
* (Glad to hear it.^1)&* (Though^1, I do not know why& you dislike yellow.)/
* (You had better hope you do& not encounter a banana-themed& monster.)/%%
* (Huh^1? It's rather inconvenient& that you changed your mind& like this.)/
* (Since I told everyone& not to use yellow names^1,& everyone threw theirs out.)/
* (This is really troubling...^1)&* (Hmmm...)/
\\W* (Well^1, last year it was& fashionable to have \\ppink\\W & names.)/
* (I think everyone still& has those in their closets& somewhere...)/
* (I'll ask everyone to look.^1)&* (But this is the last time!)/%%
* Ribbit^1, ribbit...&* (I hope you're satisfied.)/%%
* \\YNAPSTABLOOK22 has sent you& a friend request.\\W /
* Accept the request?& & Accept Reject\\C
* (It seems to have already& rejected itself...)/%%
* \\YMETTATON has sent you a& Mortal Enemy request.\\W /
* Congratulations^1!&* You are now Mortal Enemies& with Mettaton./
* \\YCOOLSKELETON95\\W has posted& a comment on this change./
* CONGRATULATIONS^1, YOU TWO^1!&* WISH YOU A LONG AND& HORRIBLE RIVALRY./%%
* You rejected the request./%%
* \\YMETTATON has sent you an& invitation to "Die."\\W /
* RSVP?& & Respond Ignore\\C
* Bepis valley Granola Bars/%%
* hey^1.&* i heard you're going& to the core./
\\E0* how about grabbing some& dinner with me first?& Yeah I'm busy \\C
* great^1, thanks for& treating me./%%
* well^1, have fun in& there./%%
* This is the barrier./
* This is what keeps& us all trapped& underground./
* If.../
* If by chance you& have any unfinished& business.../
* Please do what you& must./
& & Continue Go Back\\C
* ..^2.&* ... I see.../
* This is it^1, then./%%
* I see./
* Anything you want to& do is important& enough./
* Even something as small& as reading a book^1,& or taking a walk.../
* Please take your time./%%
* Oh..^1.&* Back so soon?/
* How are you feeling?/
& & Ready Go Back\\C
* Do what you have to./%%
* Tra la la^1.&* I am the riverman./
* Or am I the riverwoman...^1?&* It doesn't really matter./
* I love to ride in my boat^1.&* Would you care to join me?/
* (Ride in the boat?)& & Yes No\\C
* Tra la la^1.&* Care for a ride?/
* Where will we go today?& & Error Error\\C
* Where will we go today?& & Snowdin Waterfall\\C
* Where will we go today?& & Snowdin Hotland\\C
* Where will we go today?& & Waterfall Hotland\\C
* Then perhaps another time^1.&* Or perhaps not^1.&* It doesn't really matter./%%
* Then we're off.../%%
* (There's a switch on the& wall.)/
* (The switch doesn't do& anything.)/%%
* (Seems like a comfortable& bed.)/
* (Lie on it?)& & Yes No\\C
* (It's just a regular suspicious& bed now.)/%%
* (It's a yellow key.^1)&* (You put it on your& keychain.)/%%
* (There's something under& the sheets.)/
* (Check it out?)& & Yes No\\C
* (The power has been turned& on.)/%%
* (It seems like this controls& the elevator's power.)/
* (Turn it on?)& & Yes No\\C
\\E7* I always was a crybaby^1,& wasn't I^1,
charname
\\E2* ... I know./
\\E0* You're not actually&
, are you?/
\\E7*
's been gone for& a long time./
\\E9* Um..^1. what.../
\\E0* What IS your name?/
\\E5* "Frisk?"/
\\E7* That's.../
\\E5* A nice name./
\\E7* Frisk.../
\\E0* I haven't felt like& this for a long time./
\\E2* As a flower^1, I was& soulless./
\\E1* I lacked the power to& love other people./
\\E2* However^1, with everyone's& souls inside me.../
\\E7* I not only have my own& compassion back.../
\\E5* But I can feel every& other monster's as& well./
\\E7* They all care about& each other so much./
\\E0* And..^1. they care about& you too^1, Frisk./
\\E7* I wish I could tell& you how everyone& feels about you./
* Papyrus..^1. Sans..^1.&* Undyne..^1. Alphys.../
\\E0* ... Toriel./
\\E7* Monsters are weird./
\\E5* Even though they barely& know you.../
\\E6* It feels like they& all really love& you./
\\E8* Haha./
\\E1* Frisk..^1. I..^1.&* I understand if you& can't forgive me./
* I understand if you& hate me./
* I acted so strange and& horrible./
\\E3* I hurt you./
* I hurt so many people./
\\E1* Friends^1, family^1,& bystanders.../
\\E3* There's no excuse for& what I've done./
& & Forgive Do not\\C
\\E3* Wh..^1. what?/
\\E7* ... Frisk^1, come on./
\\E0* You're..^1.&* You're gonna make me& cry again./
\\E7* ... besides^1, even if& you do forgive me.../
\\E2* ... right^1./
* I understand./
\\E1* I just hope that.../
* I can make up for& it a little right& now./
\\E1* I can't keep these& souls inside of me./
\\E0* The least I can do& is return them./
\\E2* But first.../
\\E4* There's something I& have to do./
* Right now^1, I can feel& everyone's hearts& beating as one./
* They're all burning& with the same& desire./
* With everyone's power..^1.&* With everyone's& determination.../
* It's time for& monsters.../
* To finally go free./%%
\\E0* I have to go now./
\\E7* Without the power of& everyone's souls.../
\\E1* I can't keep& maintaining this& form./
* In a little while.../
* I'll turn back into& a flower./
\\E3* I'll stop being& "myself."/
* I'll stop being able& to feel love again./
\\E1* So..^1. Frisk./
\\E7* It's best if you& just forget about& me^1, OK?/
\\E0* Just go be with& the people who& love you./
& Comfort& him Do not\\C
\\E0* So^1, Alphys.../
\\E9* What do you want& to do now that& we're all free?/
\\E0* We have the whole& world to explore& now./
scr_alface
\\E3* W-well^1, of course& I'm going to go& out and.../
\\E4* Um.../
\\E3* No^1, I should be& honest!!/
\\E1* I'm gonna stay inside& and watch anime like& a total loser!/
\\E0THAT'S THE SPIRIT!/
EVERYONE!!^1!&A CELEBRATION!!!&TO BEING LOSERS!!/
\\E9* Heh^1.&* Papyrus has the& right idea./
\\E0* Losing to Frisk is& the best thing to& ever happen to me./
\\E0* So I'm glad that& we.../
\\E9* Huh^1?&* What is it^1, Asgore?/
scr_asgface
\\E2* Um..^1. what's an.../
\\E0* ... anime?/
\\E1* (Oh My God?)/
\\E3* (Frisk^1. Please.)/
\\E2* (Help me explain what& anime is to Asgore.)/
\\E0* Y-you see^1, it's& like a cartoon^1,& but.../
& With With& Sword's Gun's\\C
\\E2* So it's like a& cartoon..^1.&* But with swords?/
\\E2* So it's like a& cartoon..^1.&* But with guns?/
\\E0* Golly^1!&* That sounds neato!/
\\E3* Where is this^1?&* Where can I see the& Anime./
\\E3* H-hold on^1, uh..^1.&* I think I have& some on my phone./
\\E0* Here^1, l-look at& this!/
\\E0* .../
\\E3*...Oh^1, uh.../
\\E4* Um..^1. that's the..^1.&* That's the wrong.../
\\E5* Uh^1, nevermind./
* Golly^1.&* Were those two robots.../
\\E9* ... kissing?/
\\E0* Boy^1!&* Technology sure is& something^1, isn't it?/
\\E5* Eheheh..^1. yeah^1!&* It sure is!/%%
\\E0* Psst..^1.&* F-Frisk./
\\E3* Um^1, you've gotta& tell me./
\\E6* D..^1. do you think& Asgore and Toriel& are...?/
\\E3* Uh^1, ever gonna get& back together?/
& & Yeah Nope\\C
* Error.../%%
\\E7* Y-yeah!!^1!&* Yeah^1, that's what& I hope^1, too./
\\E7* Just think about how& cute they must have& been together./
\\E0* It's quickly becoming& my number one ship& of all time./
\\E7* Tori and Gorey.../
\\E5* My..^1.&* My old boss and& his ex-wife./
\\E8* ... uh^1, that sounds& a lot less cool& all of a sudden./%%
\\E8* ... yeah^1, that's what& I thought./
\\E7* A woman can dream& though^1, right?/
\\E2* And write fanfiction./
\\E1* A LOT of fanfiction./%%
\\E0* Frisk^1!&* I just realized!/
\\E3* Now that we aren't& fighting each& other.../
\\E2* I can finally ask& you.../
\\E0* "Would you like a& cup of tea?"/
\\E0* Would you like a& cup of tea?/
& & Yes No\\C
* Oh^1!&* Well!/
\\E3* Actually^1, the cup I& had is cold now./
* So you shouldn't& have it./
\\E0* But^1, I am so& happy you said& yes./
\\E0* As soon as I can^1,& I will make some& more for you./
\\E0* Then we can be& great pals./%%
\\E3* Oh.../
\\E3* Okay./
\\E2* Frisk^1! Stop^1!&* You're breaking his& big burly heart!/
\\E2* Um^1, it's OK^1, Undyne./
\\E0* My heart's already& broken./
\\E6* ASGORE^1! STOP^1!&* YOU'RE BREAKING MY& BIG BURLY HEART!/
\\E9* Y-yeah^1, Asgore^1.&* Don't break Undyne's& heart./
\\E2* That's my job./
\\E2* OH MY GOD!&* YOU'RE GOING BACK& IN THE TRASH!!!/
\\E0CAN I GO IN THE&TRASH TOO?/
\\E9* Sure^1, Papyrus./
\\E1* guess i have to& go in the trash& too./
scr_torface
\\E0* Oh^1, may I enter& the trash as well?/
\\E1* Uh^1, okay?/
\\E0* Am I invited to& the trash?/
\\E6* SURE!!!&* WHY NOT!!!/
\\E1* On second thought^1,& do not put me& in the trash./
\\E5* Oh.../
\\E1* OH MY GOD!!!/%%
* (If you leave here^1, your& adventure will really& be over.)/
* (Your friends will follow& you out of the underground.)/
& Don't I'm& leave ready\\C
\\E0* Oh my.../
\\E0* Isn't it beautiful^1,& everyone?/
\\E3* Wow..^1. it's e-even& better than on TV./
\\E7* WAY better^1!&* Better than I ever& imagined!/
\\E1* Frisk^1, you LIVE with& this!?/
\\E9* The sunlight is so& nice..^1. and the air& is so fresh!/
* I really feel alive!/
\\E0HEY SANS.../
\\E3WHAT'S THAT GIANT&BALL?/
\\E1* we call that& "the sun^1," my friend./
\\E0THAT'S THE SUN!^1?&WOWIE!!!/
I CAN'T BELIEVE&I'M FINALLY MEETING&THE SUN!!!/
\\E0* I could stand here& and watch this for& hours.../
\\E0* Yes^1, it is beautiful^1,& is it not?/
\\E1* But we should really& think about what comes& next./
\\E3* Oh^1, right./
\\E0* Everyone.../
* This is the beginning& of a bright new& future./
* An era of peace between& humans and monsters./
\\E2* Frisk.../
* I have something to& ask of you./
\\E0* Will you act as our& ambassador to the& humans?/
* (Be the ambassador?)& & Yes No\\C
WOWi, Nice error./%%
\\E0YEAH^1!&FRISK WILL BE THE&BEST AMBASSADOR!/
AND I^1, THE GREAT&PAPYRUS.../
WILL BE THE BEST&MASCOT!/
I'LL GO MAKE A&GOOD FIRST&IMPRESSION!/%%
\\E0IT'S OK FRISK^1!&I'VE GOT YOU&COVERED!/
IF YOU DON'T WANT&TO BE THE&AMBASSADOR.../
I CAN DO IT FOR&YOU!!!/
* Frisk.../
\\E2* You came from this& world^1, right...?/
\\E1* So you must have& a place to return to^1,& do you not?/
\\E2* What will you do& now?/
I want I have& to stay places& with you to go\\C
* (The door has no mail slot.)/
* (Slide the letter under?)& & Slide NO!!!! \\C
* (You slide the letter under& the door and give it a& knock.)/%%
myinteract
* (You'll keep the letter& warm for a little longer.)/%%
* (It's a note from Alphys.)/
* (Read it...?)& & Read Do not \\C
* (It's hard to read because& of the handwriting^1, but& you try your best...)/
* Hey./
* Thanks for your help back& there./
* You guys..^1.&* Your support really means a& lot to me./
* But..^1.&* As difficult as it is& to say this.../
* You guys alone can't& magically make my own& problems go away./
* I want to be a better& person./
* I don't want to be& afraid anymore./
* And for that to happen^1,& I have to be able to& face my own mistakes./
* I'm going to start& doing that now./
* I want to be clear./
* This isn't anyone else's& problem but mine./
* But if you don't ever& hear from me again.../
* If you want to know& "the truth."/
* Enter the door to the& north of this note./
* You all at least deserve& to know what I did./
* (That's all she wrote.)/%%
* (Buy chips for 25G?)& & Buy No \\C
* (There were no chips left& in the machine.)/%%
* (The vending machine& dispensed some chisps.)/%%
* (You didn't have enough& gold.)/%%
* (You are carrying too& many items.)/%%
ini_read_real
bs
* Cinnamon or& butterscotch?/
\\E1* ... wait^1.&* Do not tell me./
\\E0* It is ERROR MESSAGE!& & Yes No \\C
\\E0* Is it Butterscotch?& & Yes No \\C
\\E0* Is it Cinnamon?& & Yes No \\C
\\E0* Hee hee hee^1.&* I had a feeling./
\\E1* When humans fall down& here^1, strangely..^1.&* I.../
\\E1* I often feel like& I already know them./
\\E0* Truthfully^1, when I first& saw you^1, I felt.../
\\E1* ... like I was seeing& an old friend for& the first time./
\\E0* Strange^1, is it not?/
* Well^1, thank you for& your selection./
\\E1* Oh..^1. I see./
\\E0* Well^1, thank you^1.&* Goodbye for now./
* (Seems like you could skip& Mettaton's monologue by& turning him around now.)/
* (What will you do?)& & Skip Hear again\\C
* (You told Mettaton there& was something cool& behind him.)/%%
* though.../
* one thing about you& always struck me& as kinda odd./
* now^1, i understand& acting in self-defense./
* you were thrown into& those situations& against your will./
* but.../
* sometimes.../
* you act like you& know what's gonna& happen./
* like you've already& experienced it all& before./
* this is an odd thing& to say^1, but.../
\\W* if you have some sort& of \\Yspecial power\\W.../
* isn't it your& responsibility to do& the right thing?/
& & Yes No\\C
\\E1* ah./
\\E0* i see./
\\E3* .../%%
\\E1* heh./
\\E0* well^1, that's your& viewpoint./
\\E2* i won't judge you& for it./
* (Ring...)/
\\E0* Hey!/
\\E3* This um^1, doesn't have& anything to do with& guiding you..^1. but.../
\\E6* Uhh^1, hey^1, would you want& to watch a human TV& show together???/
* Sometime???/
\\E4* It's called^1, um^1,& M..^1.Mew Mew Kissy& Cutie.../
& & Sure! ...no...\\C
* R-really!?/
\\E3* It's so good^1!&* It's um^1, my favorite& show!/
* It's all about this& human girl named Mew Mew& who has cat ears!%
\\E3* Which humans don't have!&* S-so she's all& sensitive about them!%
\\E6* But like...&* Eventually!%
* She realizes that her& ears don't matter!%
* That her friends like& her despite the ears!%
\\E7* It's really moving!%
\\E5* Whoops, spoilers%
\\E6* Also, this sounds& weird, but she has& the power!%
\\E5* To control the minds& of anyone she kisses!%
\\E3* She kisses people and& controls them to fix& her problems!!%
\\E5* They don't remember& anything after the& kiss I mean!!%
\\E3* BUT IF SHE MISSES& THE KISS!!!&* THEN!!%
\\E4* Then^1, uh^1, and^1, uh^1,& also I mean^1, of course%
\\E5* Eventually^1, she& realizes that& controlling people%
\\E3* OKAY WELL I almost& spoiled the whole& show^1, but%
\\E5* Uhhh^1, I think you'd& really like it!!!/
\\E0* We should watch it^1!&* After you get through& all this!/
* (Click...)/%%
\\E5* Um^1! Well^1!&* That's okay!/
* Just thought I'd!^1!&* Ask!!!/
\\E6* B-but I think you'd& really like it!!/
* If you gave it a& chance!!/
\\M1* Did y'hear!^1?&* You're back!/
\\M0* I'll tell you a big secret./
\\M1* I'm starting a band^1, y'hear?/
\\M1* It's called the Red Hot& Chibi Peppers./
\\M0* All I've thought of is& the name./
\\M3* And I don't^1, play...&* Instruments^1, or sing./
\\M1* Well^1!&* Do you think we'll be& popular!!!/
& & Yeah No\\C
\\M0* Yeah^1, me too.../%%
* (It's a lamp.)/
* (There's no lightbulb.^1)&* (A flashlight is stuck in& the bulb socket.)/
* (The flashlight is out of& batteries.)/%%
sprite_index
* Hey^1, hey^1!&* Did you remember my name?/
* (Did you?)& & Yes No\\C
* Wh-WHAT!^1?&* You REMEMBER!?/
* How could I be so easily& defeateeeeeeeeed!?/%%
* Wh-WHAT!^1?&* You DON'T REMEMBER!?/
* (It's a small white dog.^1)&* (It's fast asleep...)/
* (Fight the dog?)& & Yes No\\C
* (Can't fight the dog.)/
* (Seems like the fabric it's& sleeping on has too many& holes in it.)/
* (Seems like the dog needs& to "patch" the fabric.)/
* (Then you can fight the dog.^1)&* (... maybe.)/%%
* (Let sleeping dogs lie^1, instead& of fighting them.^1)&* (That's how the saying goes.)/%%
* (Knock knock)./
* Oooooaaah ^1!&* Room service !/
* Got my "Sea Tea" ?& & Yes No\\C
* Room service never came ^1.&* (Sigh ...)/%%
* Thanks a million ./%%
* (No response.)/%%
scr_itemremove
removed
* (You pour the Sea Tea under& the door.)/
* HUH !?!?!?!^2?&* That's just the way I want ^1!&* Here's a tip ./
* (You got 99G.)/%%
* ..^1.&* No you don't ./%%
* Then ...!?/%%
* Got my "Cinnamon Bun" ?& & Yes No\\C
* Thanks a trillion ./%%
* (You flatten the Cinnamon Bun& until it's paper thin.)&* (You slide it under the door.)/
* (You hear shuffling.)/
* (Seems like you could put& something under the door.)/
& & Put No Put\\C
* (...)/
* (But you didn't have anything& appealing.)/%%
type
* (You put a Hot Dog in front& of the door.)/
* (A white paw shoots out from& under the door.)/
* (It tries to pull the Hot Dog& into its room...)/
* (But it keeps pressing down too& hard^1, and the hot dog keeps& spinning away.)/
* (It finally succeeds.)/
* (You hear the grinding of& stone.)/
* (A single hushpuppy slides& out from under the door.)/
* (You got Hush Puppy.)/%%
* (You put a Hot Cat in front& of the door.)/
* (You hear growling...)/%%
* (You put a Dog Salad in front& of the door.^1)&* (It slides underneath.)/
* (The Dog Salad was absorbed& by the darkness.)/%%
choose
rr
* (You put a Dog Residue in& front of the door.)/
* (It slides underneath the door^1,& as if pulled by a magnet.)/
* (ZOMMM!!^1!)&* (It shoots back out at a& high speed!)/%%
* (Two Dog Residues slowly slide& back out from underneath& the door.)/%%
* Yes^1, we know^1.&* The elevator to the city& is NOT working./
* Because of this incident^1, rooms& are running at a special rate!/
* 200G a room^1. Interested^1?& & Stay Do not\\C
* Did you enjoy your stay?/
* What^1?&* Room..^1.&* Key?/
* No^1, we don't do that./
* If you leave your room^1,& you'll have to pay again./
* Fabulous^1!&* We'll escort you to your& room!/%%
* ... that's not enough money./%%
* Do let us know if you& change your mind^1.&* Have a sparkular day!/%%
* ... MY ONE TRUE LOVE?/
* (YOU LOOK BORED^1, DARLING.)/
* (I WANT THIS TO BE A STELLAR& PERFORMANCE^1, SO IF YOU& WON'T GIVE IT YOUR ALL...)/
* (THEN I'LL SKIP AHEAD FOR& THE AUDIENCE'S SAKE.)/
* (Perform?)& & Yeah Skip this\\C
* (UNDERSTOOD.^1)&* (LET'S KNOCK 'EM DEAD!)/%%
* (KA-SIGH...^1)&* (THE SHOW MUST GO ON!)/%%
Interesting./
You want to go back./
You want to go bac^1k&to the worl^2d&you destroyed./
It was you who pushed&everythin^1g to its edge./
It was you who led the worl^1d&to its destruction./
But you cannot accept it./
You think you are above&consequences.& Yes No\\C

Exactly./%%
Then what are you looking for?/%%
Perhaps./
We can reach a compromise./
You still have somethin^1g&I want./
Give it to me./
And I will bring this&world back./
Then it is agreed./
You will give me your SOUL.& & Yes No\\C
Then stay here for&all eternity./
Then^1, it is done./%%
* hey./
* is your refrigerator& running?/
& & yes no\\C
* nice^1.&* i'll be over to deposit& the brewskis./%%
* ok^1, i'll send someone& over to fix it./
* thanks for letting me& know./
* good communication is& important./%%
* Check * Compliment& * Threat
choices
* Check * Talk
* Check * Console& * Terrorize
* Check * Imitate& * Flirt
* Check * Talk& * Devour * Dinner
* Check * Pick On& * Don't Pick On
* Check * Flirt& * Threat * Cheer
* Check * Pet
* Check * Pet& * Pet * Pet & * Pet * Pet
* Check * Pet& * Re-sniff * Roll Around
* Check * Pet& * Beckon * Play & * Ignore
* Check * Agree& * Clash * Joke
* Check * Laugh& * Heckle * Joke
* Check * Compliment& * Ignore * Steal
* Check * Compliment
* Check * Ditch
* Check * Decorate& * Undecorate * Gift
* Check * Flex& * Shoo
* Check * Flex& * Feed Temmie * Talk& Flakes
* Check * Flirt& * Insult
* Check
stage
* Check * Lie Down& * Hug * Unhug
* Check * Clean& * Touch * Joke
* Check * Smile& * Hum * Conduct
* Check * Plead& * Challenge
* Check * Cry
* Check * Whisper& * Clean Armor
* Check * Flirt& * Approach
* Check * Criticize& * Encourage * Hug
* Check * Cool Down& * Heat Up * Invite
NaN
cashfactor
\\W * Check * Struggle& * Pay
G& \\YYour Money:
G \\W
* Check * Yell
\\W * Check \\Y* Yellow \\W
* Check * Fake Attack
* Check * Talk & * Stare * Clear Mind
* Check * Talk & * Sing
* Check * Compliment& * Threaten * Mystify
* Check * Pick On& * Don't Pick * Challenge& On
* Check * Console& * Terrorize * Pray
* Check * Defuse Bomb
* Check * Whisper& * Touch Glove
* Check * Burn
\\W * Check \\Y* Turn \\W
* Check * Boast& * Pose * Heel Turn
* Call * Hum& * Scream * Flex& * Unhug * Cry
* Check * Pick On& * Mystify * Clean& * Hum * Pray
* Check * ITEM & * STAT * CELL
coherent
* Check * Join& * Refuse
* Fake Hit * Recipe& * Smile * Clash
* Encourage * Call & * Nerd Out * Quiz
* Joke * Puzzle & * Recipe * Insult
* Take break * Joke & * Judgment * Crossword
* Talk * Mercy & * Hug * Preference
* Talk * Mercy & * Stare * Hug
* Check * Switch& * Fix * Lie Down
* Check * Hiss& * Devour * Snack
* Check * Applaud& * Boo * Nothing
* Check * Something
* Check * Draw
* Check * Hope & * Dream
* Error
* Struggle
\\W * Undyne
\\W \\Y* (Saved) \\W
* Alphys \\W &
\\Y* (Saved)\\W &
\\W * Papyrus * Sans \\W &
\\Y * (Saved) * (Saved)\\W &
\\W * Toriel * Asgore \\W
\\Y * (Saved) * (Saved)\\W
* Someone else
* Asriel Dreemurr
* Dialing..\\E0.\\TT /
\\E0* This is TORIEL./
* You only wanted to& say hello...^2?&* Well then./
\\E0* 'Hello!'/
* I hope that suffices^1.&* Hee hee./
* You want to say& hello again?/
* 'Salutations!'/
* Is that enough?/
\\F1 \\TT %
* Are you bored^1?&* I should have given& a book to you./
* My apologies./
* Why not use your& imagination to& divert yourself?/
* Pretend you are..^1.&* A monarch!/
* Rule over the leaf pile& with a fist of iron./
* Can you do that for me?/
* Hello^1, my child./
\\E1* Sorry^1, I do not have& much to say./
\\E0* It was nice to hear& your voice^1, though^1./
* This is TORIEL./
\\E1* Help with a puzzle^1.^1.^1.?/
* Um^1, you have not& left the room^1, have you?/
\\E0* Wait patiently for& me and we can solve& it together!/
\\E1* You want to know& more about me?/
* Well^1, I am afraid there& is not much to say./
\\E0* I am just a silly little& lady who worries too& much!/
\\E8* Huh^2?&* Did you just call& me... "Mom"?/
\\E1* Well...&* I suppose.../
* Would that make you& happy?/
* To call me..^2.&* "Mother?"/
\\E0* Well then^1, call me& whatever you like!/!
\\E8* ...^2 huh???/
\\E1* Oh,^1 heh..^1 heh...^1 \\E0 &* Ha ha ha!/
* How adorable...^1 I& could pinch your cheek!/
* You can certainly find& better than an old woman& like me./
\\E1* Oh dear,^1 are you& serious...?/
\\E1* I do not know if this is& pathetic,^1 or endearing./
\\E8* And after you said you& want to call& me "mother..."/
\\E0* You are an...^2 & \\E1... "interesting"& child./
* Dialing... /
* ... /
* But nobody came./%%
* Nobody picked up./%%
* The ringing is coming from& inside your inventory./%%
faceemotion
* Dialing...\\TT /
* Hey^1, you silly& child./
* If you want to& talk to me^1, I am& right here./
* (Somewhere^1, signals deflected& by a dog.)/%%
scr_papcall
* (No response.^1)&* (Their phone might be out& of batteries.)/%%
scr_torcall
* (The box is aclog with the& the hair of a dog.)/%%
\\E2* Welcome to your new& home,^1 innocent one./
* Allow me to educate you& in the operation of& the RUINS./%
faceplate
* You can certainly find& better than an old woman& like me./%
* You encountered the Dummy.
* Froggit attacks you!
* Froggit hopped close!
* Whimsun approached meekly!
* Froggit and Whimsun drew near!
* Moldsmal blocked the way!
Is this name correct?
spec_m
hasname
A name has already#been chosen.
You must choose a name.
aaaaaa
Not very creative...?
asgore
You cannot.
toriel
I think you should#think of your own#name, my child.
sans
nope.
undyne
Get your OWN name!
flowey
I already CHOSE#that name.
chara
The true name.
alphys
D-don't do that.
alphy
Uh.... OK?
papyru
I'LL ALLOW IT!!!!
napsta
blooky
............#(They're powerless to#stop you.)
That's a little on-#the-nose, isn't it...?
asriel
...
WARNING: This name will#make your life hell.#Proceed anyway?
catty
Bratty! Bratty!#That's MY name!
bratty
Like, OK I guess.
MTT
metta
mett
OOOOH!!! ARE YOU#PROMOTING MY BRAND?
gerson
Wah ha ha! Why not?
shyren
...?
aaron
Is this name correct? ; )
temmie
hOI!
woshua
Clean name.
jerry
Jerry.
bpants
You are really scraping the#bottom of the barrel.
gaster
game_restart
keyboard_multicheck_pressed
selected2
string_length
keyboard_clear
draw_text
No
Yes
Go back
very inactive nowadays
User avatar
Lionmeow
Keeper
 
Posts: 409
Joined: Tue Feb 20, 2018 6:47 pm
Location: Inside of a tabby slime.

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