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Alternative to Cooking: Bloques

PostPosted: Sat Feb 10, 2018 1:48 pm
by TheGreciansHousehold
The 7Zee Corporation Presents:
Image
(BLOH-kehs)
The latest in nutrient technology!


7Zee Bloques' trademark cubic shape allows easy ingestion of nutrients in a quick and efficient manner, and its simple and friendly interface allows hundreds of different flavour layouts to be produced at will by the user.

Use is simple;
  • STEP 1
    Activate your patented 7Zee Bloque Manufacture Device. A variety of fuels can be used;
    • Pink Plort - 0.2 Bloques
    • Rad Plort - 1 Bloque
    • Indigonium - 1 Bloque
    • Dervish Plort - 5 Bloques
    • Quantum Plort - 10 Bloques.
    Simply insert your chosen fuel into the fuel slot and twist 180°. The machine will draw the fuel into the slot as it runs and use it in its patented 7Zee Bloque Fuel Reactor.
  • STEP 2
    Insert your chosen ingredients. By default, the minimum and maximum of ingredients is 3; this can be upgraded later.
    Different ingredients have different effects;
    • Pogofruit - None.
    • Cuberry - Amplifies effects of other ingredients; for example, when used in conjunction with a mint mango and a phase lemon, the bloque will increase hunger speed and calmness for 7.5 minutes rather than 5.
    • Mint Mango - High sugar content increases speed at which slime will become hungry for 5 minutes.
    • Phase Lemon - Thanks to timey-wimey-wiggly-wobbly science gobbledygook, phase lemons' sour taste is actually reversed to calm down slimes instead of making them aggressive. No-one knows how,
      but it's useful none the less. Lasts 5 minutes.
    • Prickle Pear - Exotic oils from the skin of the prickle pear collects at the spines of rock and crystal slimes, bluntening them and reducing their effectivity. However, they also sharpen the spikes and make them twice as effective for 2 minutes after they wear off. Lasts for 2 minutes.
    • Kookadoba - Makes the bloque smell awful, making only the hungriest of slimes eat it. Does not effect crystal slimes, whose odd palettes are not even phased by stronger... external flavours.
    • Carrot - None.
    • Heart Beet - Makes the bloque more attractive to veggie-eating slimes and less attractive to fruit-eating and meat-eating slimes.
    • Oca Oca - Hearty flavour causes food revelations and increases speed at which slime will become hungry for 5 minutes (real time).
    • Silver Parsnip - Incredible reserved flavour causes slimes to jump and move slower in accordance with their newfound sensibility... for 5 minutes. Slimes can only stay un-wiggly for so long.
    • Odd Onion - Only has a 1-in-3 chance of actually being an Odd Onion - carrots can be sneaky little veggies sometimes - but causes slimes to become confused and accidentally release twice as many plorts.
    • Gilded Ginger - Wait... really? Wow. Well... uh... if you really want to know...
      So delicious, so incredibly delectable, that no slime can resist it. Even gold slimes will be tempted by its mind-blowingly explosive aroma, and will permit you to gain as many gold plorts as you like.
    • Water - None, but produces a vaguely cubic globule of coloured jelly that can be fed to puddle slimes, or just to other slimes that you happen to know enjoy a good gelatin-oxane composite.
  • STEP 3
    Press the big, green, glowing button and watch as your bloques tumble out of the machine!

A variety of upgrades are available for the patented 7Zee Bloque Manufacture Device. They include, but may or may not be limited to:
  • Compressonator MkI - Allows for up to 4 ingredients to be used in a bloque. Minimum remains as 3.
  • Compressonator MkII - Allows for up to 5 ingredients to be used in a bloque. Minimum remains as 3.
  • The Actual Product You Paid For DLC - Doubles bloque output. Exclusive to 7Zee Rewards Club.

Buy your patented 7Zee Bloque Manufacture Device today and enter a new world of nutrition!

Copyright 7Zee 1604 CE to 224,123,324,632 CE. 7Zee reserves the right to renew its own copyright. We can, so we will, okay? You try running the universe's largest company! Ugh.

Re: Alternative to Cooking: Bloques

PostPosted: Sat Feb 10, 2018 3:12 pm
by bobschicken
Dear 7zee, By chance, not for any reason in particular, what if i was to put a Hen-Hen in it. Not that i'd do that... I'd still want to know.






Big customer of your stuff-
Henry Hughes

Re: Alternative to Cooking: Bloques

PostPosted: Sat Feb 10, 2018 3:43 pm
by Fishkeeper
Ooh, I really like this idea. Fits right in with everything else, and it seems useful without being overpowered.

Re: Alternative to Cooking: Bloques

PostPosted: Sat Feb 10, 2018 4:14 pm
by TheGreciansHousehold
bobschicken wrote:Dear 7zee, By chance, not for any reason in particular, what if i was to put a Hen-Hen in it. Not that i'd do that... I'd still want to know.
Big customer of your stuff-
Henry Hughes


7Zee does not condone the placement of live game into high pressure nutrient condensers. It does not, however, deny that it tastes absolutely delicious.

Fishkeeper wrote:Ooh, I really like this idea. Fits right in with everything else, and it seems useful without being overpowered.


Thank you, customer!
NOW BUY OUR PRODUCT
*ahem*

Re: Alternative to Cooking: Bloques

PostPosted: Sat Feb 10, 2018 6:02 pm
by EmeraldPlay
Nice idea.

Re: Alternative to Cooking: Bloques

PostPosted: Sun Feb 11, 2018 3:32 am
by TheGreciansHousehold
Just gunna casually bump this..

Re: Alternative to Cooking: Bloques

PostPosted: Thu Feb 22, 2018 11:04 am
by SupaGamaBoi
Doot doot da-doot doot doot doot! B U M P

Re: Alternative to Cooking: Bloques

PostPosted: Mon Feb 26, 2018 4:37 pm
by GlaciumFracture
what would happen if I put say... plorts or science materials into the Bloque Manufacture Device as ingredients?

Re: Alternative to Cooking: Bloques

PostPosted: Mon Feb 26, 2018 11:00 pm
by Noggy05
GlaciumFracture wrote:what would happen if I put say... plorts or science materials into the Bloque Manufacture Device as ingredients?

Or slimes?

Re: Alternative to Cooking: Bloques

PostPosted: Wed Feb 28, 2018 8:00 am
by TheGreciansHousehold
GlaciumFracture wrote:what would happen if I put say... plorts or science materials into the Bloque Manufacture Device as ingredients?

We don't know, and our lawyers say we're not allowed to tell you to try it. Apparently "the effects of non-food-material-based bloques are unpredictable and potentially highly dangerous - possibly lethal". Spoilsports.

Noggy05 wrote:
GlaciumFracture wrote:what would happen if I put say... plorts or science materials into the Bloque Manufacture Device as ingredients?

Or slimes?

The 7Zee Corporation, in cooperation with the Society for Limoanimaraen Protection (SLAP), completely does not recommend committing such an atrocity. Cubic slimes are far too cute for this universe.

Re: Alternative to Cooking: Bloques

PostPosted: Thu Mar 22, 2018 5:35 am
by Valeritan
this is a great idea